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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I that unusual?

420 replies

Greysparkles · 22/02/2020 18:26

To have never had a passport and never travelled to another country?

Was talking about holidays with friends recently, and got talking about airports etc and i mentioned I'd no idea what they were on about as I've never flown.
Well the looks I got! Like I'd grown an extra head!
Is it that unusual?! Am I the only one?!

OP posts:

purplebunny2012 · 27/02/2020 19:47

I didn't get a passport until I was in my early 20s. Went on a few flights for holidays and honeymoon, and then it expired and I didn't renew it (hadn't used it for a good 4 or 5 years).
Finally renewed it when I was in my late 30s, which wasn't that long ago.
It is just as well I passed my driving test in between or I would have had no photographic ID!

purplebunny2012 · 27/02/2020 20:01

I will add that it's my husband that doesn't want to go abroad. I only got the passport a few years ago because I decided to go to Dublin with my son on our own.
I think I'd find it too daunting to travel abroad on my own, but I'm thinking of going somewhere in Europe with my son next year.
This year it's me and him going to a UK resort for less than £300, so UK hols are certainly not more expensive than foreign ones that some people seem to think on here. Never heard such rubbish

Bargebill19 · 27/02/2020 20:04

You aren’t alone. I don’t even own a passport and likely never will. I have no one eligible to sign the photographs.

Ittakesallkindsofpeople · 27/02/2020 23:04

I have no one eligible to sign the photographs

In Ireland they are signed by a garda (police). Is that an option?

There has to be a way around this for people.

Bargebill19 · 28/02/2020 00:06

Nope not an option (uk). Apparently I can pay a dodgy solicitor to say he knows me even though he has only seen me there and then. I would have to pay cash and do it first thing Saturday morning in Birmingham ....... this was the advice of the conveyancing and probate solicitor used two years ago.

I’ve spoken to the passport office and the best they could suggest was to look harder at whom I know 🤨 or ask the GP (who I’ve never seen as it’s always a random Gp and the surgery refuses to offer the service anyway). So it’s really ‘fun’ when someone asks you to prove who you are and all you have is a drivers licence.... when nearly everyone only wants a passport nowadays, despite the preferred lists stating quite the opposite. Still, saves me from having to endure airports etc

Ittakesallkindsofpeople · 28/02/2020 00:18

I don't think GPs are allowed do it.

What about your dentist? Optician? Bank? Post office? Pharmacist?

A neighbour? Your kid's teacher (if you have a child).

ferrier · 28/02/2020 00:26

I don't think there's anything wrong at all with not being interested in going abroad. Half of those who do just go to a hotel in the sun somewhere and never see anything of the country anyway.

Bargebill19 · 28/02/2020 00:54

Ittakesallkindofoeople ... they need to have known you for two years, and I don’t know who my optician is - who does when you go to a chain? I need to know someone for that long from the list - from memory they have to hold a director’s position (nope don’t know any) or a professional position (not known any for the two year requirements), be in the police force .... I haven’t even seen a police man for at least fifteen years let alone know one... etc etc. Just knowing someone with a degree (I know plenty) isn’t enough. Even neighbours have to meet certain criteria it can’t just be joe bloggs over the garden fence.

Bargebill19 · 28/02/2020 00:56

We don’t have any family except a Dementia ridden mother in law who’s subway to a dols in a care home - so cant use family.

Bargebill19 · 28/02/2020 00:56

Subject not subway. (Sorry)

AllesAusLiebe · 28/02/2020 01:11

I do know quite a few here who've never travelled abroad. My mother in law has only been as far as northern Ireland and a few friends of ours who live in London don't have passports and they're in their 40s.

I've only ever flown to Greece and Mallorca - don't worry about it! Extensive foreign travel is probably rarer than you think.

Ittakesallkindsofpeople · 28/02/2020 01:20

Could a nurse in the care home sign it?

I'm really aghast that somebody 'in authority' can't sign it. There must be so many in your situation. What do they advise people. No wonder 'dodgy' solicitors will do it. At least it is an option if you decide you do want one. It doesn't seem right at all though.

In Ireland, the police can do it provided you take your birth certificate, photo and a utility bill in your name (I think that is all that is required).

PineappleDanish · 28/02/2020 07:28

People in authority CAN sign it. The list of people who can sign passport applications is extensive and it isn't just lawyers and doctors. The list on the website clearly says that the list of recognised professions are examples.

As long as they have their own passport, you can ask someone of "good standing in the community". So the woman who runs the local Brownies/Scouts, the church choir leader, the vicar/priest/minister, people who are retired from a professional job, all sorts of people.

Ittakesallkindsofpeople · 28/02/2020 08:49

That is how I read it on the website too but Barge explained they must know her for two years?

Bargebill19 · 28/02/2020 08:50

We don’t have registered nurses in either the home my mother in law is in our the one I work in .... and I have not known them for the requisite Two years. I don’t know anyone in any of the recognised professions either.
For some of us it really isn’t as easy as some of you think. When I have known someone who is in the list - I haven’t known them long enough. Our lifestyle and work means we move on fairly frequently, usually staying somewhere between 1 and 3 years max. Combine this with other people’s movements due to work commitments etc and it’s really hard!

Bargebill19 · 28/02/2020 08:58

As for asking someone if good standing in the community - again it’s the two year rule. I have no connection with knowing anyone in these realms either. No children through which to even begin to find out who they are. - I suspect that lurking around such groups to meet someone would be met with raised eyebrows!
I work unreliable hours too - so joining a local group JUST to met the right person with the sole aim of getting a passport two years down the line had also failed - I tried! - spent a small fortune on memberships only to end up having to work overtime for weeks or having a mother in law who ‘decided’ to have a fall or sickness requiring me to accompany her to hospital. I give up. I have tried to bend to the system - but for some of us it’s really inflexible. I don’t want to go abroad - zero interest, but it would make proving my identity easier. Sadly the only way seems to be to find a solicitor who doesn’t play by the sensible rules - which actually makes a mockery of the entire process. Something which doesn’t sit right with my morales, but maybe that’s what a lot of people do and hope they don’t get caught? Just not a route of preferred choice for me.

PineappleDanish · 28/02/2020 09:09

It doesn;t have to be someone who you see regularly NOW though. A family friend who last saw you two years ago but who knew you right through your childhood and could pick you out in a line up is fine. As is a friend from somewhere you lived two years ago and who you keep in touch with my Facebook.

There is always a solution. Some people (and not necessarily including @bargebill19 in this) do use the "don't know anyone" as a great excuse not to get a passport or go anywhere. SIL is a bit like this, she has lots of people who would fall into the categories but she couldn't possibly ask them.

Bargebill19 · 28/02/2020 10:30

Actually no that’s not true. - I do know one person who has known me for the last 40 years - they aren’t eligible to sign despite having a phd and being a director of a charity —— I checked with the passport office and they confirmed this when my friend said she legally couldn’t. I don’t know anyone else for more than the last 2 years. Not one is able to sign for me. It’s not an excuse , it’s fact. It’s got to the stage where it’s simply a case of breaking the rules to achieve a goal. Yet I can hold an enhanced dbs, two powers of attorney, and a drivers licence, hold down a full time job etc but can’t get a passport.

Polly20 · 09/03/2020 13:22

Most people I know never went to university

BiddyPop · 09/03/2020 13:44

I had never been abroad until my honeymoon, aged 25. We'd had family holidays in this country every year, and enjoyed them. I'd travelled around the country with Girl Guides, University, Rowing Club, Hockey Club etc for fun and for competitions and events. I didn't have a passport until a couple of months before our wedding.

Admittedly, I have now travelled a lot, but we still holiday at home a fair amount also, and go to various events around the country for DD and ourselves. And we've been to the UK quite a bit also - (I'm in Ireland) - there are fabulous placers to see and things to do in both countries without having to go abroad, whichever one you are based in.

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