Am I that unusual?

[Greysparkles]

To have never had a passport and never travelled to another country?

Was talking about holidays with friends recently, and got talking about airports etc and i mentioned I'd no idea what they were on about as I've never flown.
Well the looks I got! Like I'd grown an extra head!
Is it that unusual?! Am I the only one?!

Unusual on here. Don't forget who you're dealing with. Average income 5k per month take home on here.

Perfectly normal in the real world.

The only person I can think of in my life who hasn't been out of England (so not to Wales Scotland or NI either) is my DM. Her reasons are quite sad. Very poor when she was younger, abusive relationship, then severe anxiety and depression when she was older. She couldn't cope with a trip now, but I know she feels she missed out.
For me, going out and seeing the world was really important. Once I had a career sorted and had saved up, I went. I'm hoping when my DC's leave home I'll still be healthy enough to go see more of it.
I live in a city where people come from all over the world, half my office come from outside of the Uk.
I can't imagine not having that desire to go and see what else there is out there, but I know there will be many that don't.

@DiseasesOfTheSheep
I'd rather not continue to derail the thread and defend myself against a stranger who is convinced they know my intentions better than I do.

For someone who has accused me of making unkind presumptions on the basis of a single question you've spent a lot of energy focussed on 'proving' your own unkind presumption about my intentions.

If you're so determined to defend the OP against 'unkindness' why not berate the posters who have called her 'sad' and 'close-minded' and stop badgering me?
Please leave me alone. I have no wish to engage in a discussion with you on any basis.

@Greysparkles

You asked if you are unusual. Yes I think you are. If you were 80 and never been abroad I would say not so much, but someone of working age now who has never been abroad is unusual IMO.

People who have travelled a lot abroad are no better than you, but I do feel you are missing out on a LOT by never leaving the UK. My DH never wanted to go abroad, and we spent the first 12 years of our life together, going to fucking Blackpool and Rhyl. So when we were in our mid 30s, I said I am going to Euro Disney with the kids, and got them both passports (I already had one.)

DH had never had one. (We had our honeymoon in the UK.) He said he is not going abroad as he hates planes and hates boats. So can't go. (Couldn't be arsed.) He told me I wouldn't dare go without him to Paris, and would be scared to.

SO I booked a trip for me and the kids. He was like > Long story short, he sent for a passport and booked himself on the same trip and came with us.

Then he got the travel bug, and we all went to a dozen different countries in 5 years! DH couldn't get enough of it, and LOVED meeting people in different countries, trying to speak the language, and really getting involved in their culture(s.)

The only people we know (now) who have never travelled abroad are people who are 75-80+ or people who are of a lower social class. Not saying YOU are a lower social class, just that the ones we know who rarely leave their town are a lower social class. The upper working classes, middle classes, and upper classes do waaaaay more travelling.

There is SO much to see, and travelling abroad is very exciting. I know there is lots to see in the UK, and like many others here I have been to LOADS of places in the beautiful UK! But there is SO much more to see in other countries.

None of us would ever have been able to afford it. I tend to think that’s something that belongs to the very well-off. On a year-long holiday on Mummy and Daddy’s money, I reckon, because how else could you afford to not work, or give up your rental and store all your for an entire year?!

What a spiteful and bitter comment. As a few posters have said, some young people do actually SAVE you know. And some travel for several months, half a year even, and work in bars and cafes and do fruit picking along the way to fund their trip.

but not having an interest in experiencing anything other than British culture is strange to me

But you don’t have to necessarily travel to do that. I’ve been a smattering of places I loved and enjoyed but I’ve had so many cultural experiences in this country through friends - Chinese New Year, Sikh weddings, Diwali, Eid celebrations, Bar mitzvah’s etc.

Travel is no indication of cultural interest.

if only to show your kids the places they currently study at school, experience the languages they are learning and so on.

The end of the Erasmus program here is a real shame.

Yet more presumption. Not everyone has kids.

My Mil didn't go abroad, until my Fil died. She was 77. In the last 10 years, she been overseas about 30 times

Travel is no indication of cultural interest.

I think it depends where you're travelling to and what your mindset is.

But things like the Lunar new year (it's not just Chinese ) are celebrated very differently in many places.

I agree though it's perfectly possible to experience lots in the UK, and equally to travel overseas but never leave your all inclusive resort.

Yet more presumption. Not everyone has kids.

and not everyone has been young and free... oh, wait.
Clearly some people are very happy being a grump though

But honestly how is a week in anonymous beach resort (no judgement as I've done this) more valuable than hiking in the lakes, or visiting castles, or seeing the stunning beaches in Devon, Cornwall, or Norfolk? Just because you are in another country it doesn't mean you are really seeing much of the culture.

Neither of us have ever been abroad or had passports

Absolutely great if they’re working and stuff as they’re travelling along, but it’s disingenuous to state that if you can afford to not work for a year and go on a year-long holiday, that you’re not well-off. Like I said, nobody I know would ever have been able to afford to do it. A month maybe, if you took all your annual leave in one go.

And good on them if they save for it, but life is expensive now. Rent is expensive, saving for a house is expensive, bills are expensive, so if you can afford to ALSO travel alongside all of that, then of course you are well-off!

And if you can have your kids stay at home with you to save up to travel, then technically you are helping to fund their holiday! That is also being in a position to be well-off. Not many people I know had parents who were in a position to either have them back home, or they could, but you had to pay your keep.

Its interesting that those saying travel opens your mind are being the most closed minded of all.
How is it better to go on a package holiday to Spain once a year rather than holiday and explore the corners of our own country?
Going abroad can broaden the mind and introduce you to new and wonderful experiences or it can be sitting round a pool with all the other Brits abroad getting pissed and sunburnt.

@Veterinari you've been engaging with me as much as I have been engaging with you. I don't claim to know your intentions and I never have - I have responded purely to what you have said, and frankly I find your insistence that I am attacking you personally quite frustrating as your posts to me have been more accusatory than any of mine to you. I'm not going to just disappear, I will continue to explain my posts which you seem to be willfully misunderstanding, and defend myself against your assertions. If you're done with this conversation, that's fine, but you don't get to accuse me of making personal comments and expect me not to respond. You don't control the internet, I'm entitled to my opinion, and I'm entitled to express that.

how is a week in anonymous beach resort (no judgement as I've done this) more valuable
vitamin D

a couple of weeks in the sun a year will give you more energy to do everything else in the UK on your next holiday.

Joke aside, why do people think that having a passport and using it means you never do anything in your own country? There are 52 weekends in a year, 8 bank holidays and a minimum of paid annual leave in this country.

Even when you work full time, you can do things throughout the year, can't you?

and that's even if you don't have kids...

The thing I find most strange is not wanting to take your children abroad if you could afford it.

I don't understand people who seem to think that it's either exciting foreign holidays or exploring Britain. I've just come back from 2 days in the Lakes with my sons. It was wet and windy and they loved it. We stayed in a stupidly cheap guest house and ate picnics. We're going to Sweden in April for a few days as we want to see the culture first hand. We staying in a hostel and got very cheap flights. Then London for a couple of days in May as my son has done a project in school and wants to see it for himself. We shop around for cheap travel, stay in basic cheap accommodation and budget our food. My friends would rather 1 trip away but stay somewhere nice and easy at nice restaurants and drink cocktails. Neither is right or wrong - the best thing about the world is that we all have personal preference. Wouldn't it be beige if we all liked the same things?!

like only ever eating chips and insisting other food is horrid without ever trying it

But I'm not saying its horrid? Or being mean about people who travel and love it.
I've been called sad, wierd, strange, insular.... Because I have different interests to you.

At the other end of the spectrum, none of my circle have ever been on a full-on “gap year” doing lengthy travelling, etc. None of us would ever have been able to afford it. I tend to think that’s something that belongs to the very well-off. On a year-long holiday on Mummy and Daddy’s money, I reckon, because how else could you afford to not work, or give up your rental and store all your for an entire year

Me and DH did this in our 20s just by saving from what were very ordinary jobs. Lots of my friends did too. We travelled for a year, unbelievable experience. Very few people you meet are doing it on mummy and daddy's money, they're just people who want to get out there and see the world.

OP yes you are very unusual in this but I think you know that. How old are your kids? Have they never expressed any interest in going anywhere?

@ThatFriendsReunion true! Though we have had some cracking summers recently. Oh no, just saying that there are some people who may have been abroad but never travelled much here. I can think of quite a few people I know who fit the bill, as well as plenty who travel a lot both domestically and internationally.

I did a lot of travelling abroad with my friends when I was late teens, backpacking... I loved it, we still get together and talk about the adventures we had! It was a fabulous experience. Not been abroad since though, my passport ran out over 20years ago
My husband has never been abroad... He doesn't understand the what the attraction is... I argue but if you've never been??!! Maybe one day!

I'd think it was unusual, as in I don't know any people my age (32) who have never been been abroad. It's nothing at all to be ashamed of though. In fact it's much better for the environment obviously and you're doing your bit for British tourism which is great too.
My favourite places to go are Millport and Crieff Hydro - neither of which are exotic I also had an amazing holiday in Norfolk once too.
I really would feel like I was missing out if I didn't go abroad every year too though to different places.

Clearly some people are very happy being a grump though

Have a think about some of the phrases and reasons you've used on this thread to describe someone who may just have a different outlook on life to you...

• Not a valid reason
• Weird
• Sad
• Incurious
• Letting your kids down
• Grump

but it’s disingenuous to state that if you can afford to not work for a year and go on a year-long holiday, that you’re not well-off.

why do you think people who take a gap year abroad don't work? Most do... You are confusing gap year and holiday I am afraid, we are not talking about the same thing.

And if you can have your kids stay at home with you to save up to travel, then technically you are helping to fund their holiday!
yes, so?
If my kids stay home, even if they pay their utilities and food, it will still work out cheaper for them than paying rent on top of all the bills? And it won't cost me more...

I have no idea how you calculate life cost, but you are completely mistaken on how other people manage.