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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I that unusual?

420 replies

Greysparkles · 22/02/2020 18:26

To have never had a passport and never travelled to another country?

Was talking about holidays with friends recently, and got talking about airports etc and i mentioned I'd no idea what they were on about as I've never flown.
Well the looks I got! Like I'd grown an extra head!
Is it that unusual?! Am I the only one?! Grin

OP posts:
LoadOfOldTosh · 24/02/2020 03:17

I think it is extremely unusual these days and I feel so very sorry for you with the experiences you’ve missed out on. Both DH and I travel extensively for work (senior City roles) but we also ensure the DC get to broaden their horizons with plenty of holidays. We take several holidays a year, from five star luxury to a simple Center Parks weekend. While not everyone is as fortunate, I encourage you to apply for your passport and investigate what this wonderful world has to offer. flowers

one of the most patronising things I've ever read on this site
^
^ Totally agree!

VeeJayBee · 24/02/2020 09:20

Sounds like it was just the way you were brought up to me. If you weren’t used to going abroad being the norm it probably doesn’t enter your head to do it now. Plus you had kids very young so maybe money was tight or you just didn’t want to. It’s fine. It’s only unusual to most people because people like to go away abroad (sometimes whether they can afford it or not!) and you’ve obviously prioritised what you can afford. Who cares. Good for you for being content I’d say! X

totorocatbus · 24/02/2020 09:23

I'm always incredulous that people travel abroad, when the UK has so much history, variety & culture on their doorstep.I could talk your ear off about the beauty of our country! The variety of cultures & way of life you can find here, the historical sites that most people never explore, variety of coastline, countryside & mountains throughout the isles.
The wonderful ranges of food, people & festivals. People seem to put alot of effort to explore far flung places, but obviously don't put the same effort in to explore the UK. It's not all the same, it magical! I've never felt the desire to travel abroad, when there is still so much for me to see here and I'm nearly 50 but not finished exploring the multicultural, multifaceted UK, that so many take for granted. So, I'm with you OP Smile

irregularegular · 24/02/2020 09:31

According to the 2011 census, 19% of those resident and born in the UK don't have passports. But that would include children. And it may have changed since 2011.

I have to admit I can't think of anyone I know who hasn't been abroad multiple times.

I do find it odd not to want to go and see different places as well as this country, I have to admit. It may be financially difficult. Or there are times when it is practically difficult (eg young children). But not to want to, ever? I find that hard to relate to. Which doesn't mean that I don't like exploring this country too. It's not either/or!

irregularegular · 24/02/2020 09:35

Obviously it is better for the environment. I do feel bad about that but would find it very hard to give up. I decided to travel by train to Europe for our Easter break, basically for environmental reasons. It is more expensive. But we have other trips planned by plane (hence feeling guilty)

AlexaShutUp · 24/02/2020 09:35

I'm always incredulous that people travel abroad, when the UK has so much history, variety & culture on their doorstep.

I agree that the UK has a lot to offer, but the world as a whole can offer so much more - why not explore both?

I think people who don't travel miss out on so much. Having said that, I'm concerned about climate change, so I'm really conflicted!

Bluntness100 · 24/02/2020 09:45

Some of the comments on here are a bit unusual. Going abroad doesn’t mean you can’t also holiday in the uk and vice versa. We don’t get one holiday in our life times. We can do both. Uk and abroad.They are not mutually and permanently exclusive.

As for London being comparable and a brilliant place, not being comparable doesn’t mean it’s not as good, simply it’s very different to places like Kenya, or Paris, or Barcelona. That’s the point. They are all different. Very different.

I’m well aware of what London has to offer, I live on the outskirts and it’s less than an hour by train to the centre, and this morning booked a long weekend in March for my daughter and I in the centre..

Does this mean then I should not go abroad? No of course not. We can do both.

Insideimsprinting · 24/02/2020 09:47

Just read the first two pages and think its sad that so many find in unusual. Yes many people have been on a plane and been to other countries, some would jump at that chance if they could. Why should it be unusual or sad not to have done it or want to, why is it so hard to comprehend that some people dont do what the majority does?

I have always been one of those who unintentionally seems to be in a herd all of my own, I find it hard to follow the herd, I dont find it unusual the theory behind it makes sense but for me its alien. However it doesnt stop the herd from thinking that Im unusual for not following them. I think the herd needs to just open its mind to the fact that its ok not to do what everyone else does its not odd, unusual, sad or weird at all its just not what the herd does.

Rayn · 24/02/2020 10:10

The OP is well within her right not to travel. It isn't compulsory.

Book lovers may feel the same about people who don't read. There is a whole world you can delve into within books and literature and it's often said people who do not read are missing out. Same for travel.

It is just different preferences. I have a friend who will not go on holiday. She said it is just same shit with a different view and she can do everything she does on holiday at home. I disagree with her but she finds her happiness in other ways.

However I love travelling yet I understand it is not everyone's cup of tea.

bookmum08 · 24/02/2020 10:30

Bluntness well that's lovely for you to have the finances to do both types of holidays. My holidays for the past few years have been staying at parents /in laws. Now I probably could afford a different holiday if I sacrificed some other parts of my life. I have a hobby that includes going to various shows and events. Not just going but I am also part of the group of people who organise/take part in these events. Yes this is voluntary but it isn't free. I have to pay travel costs and for equipment. I could give that up and have a holiday instead but I don't want to. I like being part of my hobby community. It's very important to me and because of people like me many people (especially children) get a enjoyable day out. It's about priorities. I don't know what the OP does in her spare time or what her financial situation but to say she is unusual to (at the moment anyway) not to want to travel abroad is unfair when she could have 1001 other activities and interests that she does. I probably would enjoy Barcelona if I went there but it simply isn't a priority to go and that doesn't mean I have no interest in the history, architecture etc of the city.

Icecreamdiva · 24/02/2020 10:36

Travelling isn’t for everyone. My Aunty Pat recently died aged 90. Not only did she never leave her home country of Ireland, she didn’t leave her home county Donegal until she was well into her 60s and that was for a day trip to Knock 100 miles away. A few years after that she had to go across the border to Derry for hospital treatment. She enjoyed both trips and saw them as a bit of an adventure but didn’t feel the need to repeat the experiences!

Pat was one of 14 children and was the only one who didn’t emigrate after leaving school. Her brothers and sisters were scattered across the globe and many were very well travelled indeed. Pat loved hearing about their experiences and getting photos and postcards but she was very happy staying at home.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 24/02/2020 10:49

@Insideimsprinting I think you are confused about the word unusual. Unusual is by definition something what is uncommon. Hence if someone doesn't do what majority does it is unusual, uncommon. Unusual is not an insult or something.

lazylinguist · 24/02/2020 10:50

I'm always incredulous that people travel abroad, when the UK has so much history, variety & culture on their doorstep.

Well firstly, if you're able to, you can do both. And secondly, foreign countries are an opportunity to experience other cultures, languages and sights which are much more of a change of perspective than just seeing a different part of the UK.

There are plenty of very valid reasons for not travelling abroad (finances, ill health, jobs which make it difficult, ill health, sick relatives etc etc), but 'I don't fancy it' or 'The UK is interesting enough for me' don't seem like very good ones tbh.

Original poster
Greysparkles · 24/02/2020 11:03

There are plenty of very valid reasons for not travelling abroad (finances, ill health, jobs which make it difficult, ill health, sick relatives etc etc), but 'I don't fancy it' or 'The UK is interesting enough for me' don't seem like very good ones tbh

But why do you get to judge other people's 'valid' or not, reasons? I am not you, it's OK that we're different.

I posted this because I knew I was uncommon in this way, but was interested to see how unusual, going from this thread I'm not alone, but it does seem that, for some, if I don't conform to the way you live your life I'm basically not worth knowing. Which is hilarious really, because to me, this is such a small part of me as a person.

What happened to live and let live ay

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 24/02/2020 11:03

Its great that people feel they can police the choices of others and I note your list of valid reasons.
Just don't lecture anyone on saving the planet as long as you choose to fly for your own personal enrichment.

lazylinguist · 24/02/2020 11:11

But why do you get to judge other people's 'valid' or not, reasons? I am not you, it's OK that we're different.

I'm not policing anything. That would imply I was trying to stop people from doing what they want for their own reasons. I'm simply giving my opinion, just like anyone else can on this forum. That includes giving opinions on why people do what they do. Our opinions are different and yes, that's fine.

it does seem that, for some, if I don't conform to the way you live your life I'm basically not worth knowing.

Who said that? I certainly don't only associate with people who all have exactly the same lifestyle and opinions as me!

WalkingDeadTrainee · 24/02/2020 11:15

Just don't lecture anyone on saving the planet as long as you choose to fly for your own personal enrichment.
Could very much say the same about people with more than two kids tbh...

Original poster
Greysparkles · 24/02/2020 11:18

Who said that? I certainly don't only associate with people who all have exactly the same lifestyle and opinions as me!

Not saying you did @lazylinguist
Some of the posts on here have genuinely shocked me tbh

OP posts:
phoenixrosehere · 24/02/2020 11:30

Millions of people in the USA have never seen the sea... No big deal!

USA is way bigger than the U.K. and to get to a sea depending on where you are driving from can take hours. Driving to Chicago to Miami is around 20 hours alone.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 24/02/2020 11:33

I was curious. Town in Nebraska, nearly a straight line to West Coast. 22 hours.Shock

dorisdog · 24/02/2020 12:49

I've had there flights abroad in my life and I'm late 40s. We never went abroad when I was a child or teen. (Low pay). We did go to Wales every year in a caravan. I now mainly holiday in the UK and am perfectly happy.

dorisdog · 24/02/2020 12:50

*three flights!

3unda3 · 24/02/2020 13:40

I think it is a bit unusual but purely because it's the same for me and I'm told it is. People are usualy shocked when I say i haven't got a passport or any inclination to leave the country for a holiday. Asside from the cost, I have multiple kids with special needs who would hate it and a million reasons why leaving the country is not practical. Up till recently I didn't have a provisional drivers liscence either which gave people the same surprise. I couldn't count the amount of times Iv been asked why I don't have either for ID proposes if nothing else

MrsStrangerThing · 24/02/2020 14:36

I think it is unusual, but I don't think you are unusual, if that makes sense? I also think its unusual that I am approaching 40 and have only been outside of the UK and Ireland 5 times, twice was with school. Like you, we prefer to holiday within the UK and Ireland. We loved our few trips abroad, but it contented us for a few years so we didn't feel the need to go again the next year. I do think that is unusual because most people I know really do prioritise foreign holidays, whereas we don't Smile We prefer to avoid wasting a lot of our holiday hanging around airports and like to bring our dogs with us. I feel bad asking family to mind them and don't feel comfortable leaving them in kennels. We enjoy UK holidays every bit as much as we enjoyed the foreign holidays. We are going away this summer because I took a notion for a certain place, who knows maybe we will want to return next year if we love it. We shall see! Package holidays don't appeal to us at all, we love sightseeing rather than sitting around pools or beaches so the weather doesn't really make a big difference to us.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll1 · 24/02/2020 15:44

I'm the same. Late 40's never been abroad. Parents the same. They could about afford a weeks holiday to the coast every year. I don't feel like I've missed out by not going abroad. I've had some lovely holidays in this country. I have been asked countless times why I haven't been abroad and that I should Hmm why it concerns people like it does I'll never know.