Am I that unusual?

[Greysparkles]

To have never had a passport and never travelled to another country?

Was talking about holidays with friends recently, and got talking about airports etc and i mentioned I'd no idea what they were on about as I've never flown.
Well the looks I got! Like I'd grown an extra head!
Is it that unusual?! Am I the only one?!

I can see why you're getting defensive op, but you specifically started a thread to explain that a group of your friends thought it was unusual, and to ask whether it really was.

I think it is very unusual. It would be understandable if you didn't have any disposable income, or suffered from a phobia, or had prohibitively ill health. But to say that you enjoy visiting parts of the UK, but have no interest in visiting the wider world, does seem like an odd decision to make and I guess that pp are trying to unpick that a bit.

You say that you have other, unspecified interests, but 'no desire to travel' isn't really an interest. It is also possible to have interests and travel.

You are confused why some pp have said that they feel sorry for you, but it is because you are, from choice, missing out on wonderful experiences. I would feel sorry for someone who purposely avoided any wonderful life experiences, because it is a bit of a self-imposed shame.

@letmeinthroughyourwindow ^^ EXACTLY THIS

I find it really interesting that so many posters have talked about travel within the UK as if it's that instead of travelling abroad!Bothare interesting and one doesn't trump another in any way.

There's probably a focus on abroad because that's what the OP was about. I have also travelled a lot round the UK, including every childhood holiday, as we never went abroad. I only holidayed in the UK last year, as it fitted in with other things I was doing. But I don't need a passport for that, so didn't mention it.

Have you never watched a travel show and thought ‘wow I’d love to go there’?

Whether it’s Mediterranean or Caribbean beaches, historical ruins in Rome, forests in Romania, big cities like Hong Kong or New York, snowy arctic or alpine lake views in Sweden or Switzerland... you’re really not interested in seeing any of it?

Have you never watched a travel show and thought ‘wow I’d love to go there’?

Yes, I've thought a few places look interesting, and one day maybe I'll visit. But there isn't a burning desire to do it right now and it wouldn't be the end of the world if I never did.

SIL and her husband have never been abroad, they are in their early 50s. They haven't ever been to Scotland or Ireland either. They have, in the 25 years i've known them, had two holidays, both at the same Center Parcs with SIL's parents.

Not because they can't afford it, but because they have an incredibly small comfort circle. They very rarely leave the town where they both grew up, live and work. An expedition to the nearest city is a major undertaking which only happens on very special occasions. They have no interest in going places, or seeing things. They are scared and intimidated by anything different or foreign and have very narrow horizons in other ways too - very plain food preferences, don't like trying anything new or experiencing anything new.

Up to them of course but it makes for very tedious conversations when they have nothing to talk about as they don't DO anything apart from going to the same places, eating the same things, seeing the same people, watching the same things on telly..... yawn.

I also think the environmental thing is a total red herring. This is something which has only been a concern in the last 10 -15 years. Someone in their 40s or 50s can't use that as an excuse.

I love travelling, love seeing places and doing different things, whether that's in the UK or overseas. I find people who have no interest in exploring their world very tedious, narrow minded and insular.

I haven’t been abroad since I was very little. We didn’t really holiday much at all as we couldn’t afford it. Now I can afford it but have chosen to stay in the UK so far. London, Isle of Skye/Harris/Lewis, Devon etc. I’ve never had a bad holiday here, they have all been fantastic but I would really like to go abroad. It’s just myself and 8 year old DS. The thought of just the two of us going abroad terrifies me . Package holidays don’t really appeal to me but the thought of having to arrange flights, accommodation, outings etc for the first time ever with a child in a country where no one understands me is quite frightening for me .

I think I will bite the bullet at the end of this year and book something for next summer . I do think it is quite unusual to not have been abroad much these days but not in a bad way, it’s just a different way of living. In my friendship group/colleagues everyone is always off on holidays or travelling for weeks/months at a time but I don’t feel like anyone has ever judged me for not doing the same 🤷🏼‍♀️.

I said upthread that there are loads of places I would like to visit but they just aren't on my priority list. I watch travel shows, read books, look at pictures on the Internet etc but as with the OP it would be nice to do but if it never happens then oh well. If I were to travel to some of the places I am interested in I would have to sacrifice an awful lot of the other interests and activities in my life that are important to me. We only have one life and it's impossible to do everything in that life. You do need to pick what you really want. At the moment I personally don't want to travel abroad. I find the idea of airports /security /visas/insurance just too overwhelming to focus on it so prefer to focus my interests and energy on more local events and experiences which enhance my life. They are my priority for my leisure time. That doesn't mean I don't want to learn and be interested in other cultures.

I find people who have no interest in exploring their world very tedious, narrow minded and insular

Because of your SIL? So now everybody who doesn't is tedious, narrow minded and insular...... Righto.

I can clearly see who the narrow minded posters are around these parts. How on earth can you judge someone from one small piece of information about them.

There are lots of ways of exploring the world other than travel - that is, if you take a broader view of life and appreciate that our perceptions of the world are informed as much by our own internal stand point as that which we see around us. Our world is more than the sum of the views and experiences available within it. Personally I find it narrow minded and insular to think that travel is the only way to have anything interesting to add to a conversation.

I think you should make plans for a trip, op.

You aren't especially bothered, but an awful lot of people seem to think that you're missing out so choose somewhere and go. Even if you don't value the advice of mn, you do presumably value the recommendations of your friends?

If you enjoy the experience - great. You've belatedly realised what all the fuss is about and have a new interest.

If you don't enjoy it, well then you were right all along and have only wasted a week of your life, and can henceforth offer your opinion from a position of experience.

I know that, if 90% of people were recommending something to me, I'd try it.

And FWIW I didn't go abroad until I was in my 20s. My parents couldn't afford it and I wasn't bothered. I thought it was a lot of money to waste on something that was fleeting. I quite reluctantly had my first holiday abroad with a boyfriend, and completely changed my opinion. Just try it. We can't all be wrong can we?

I have travelled to America,Greece, France but for all the sights and cultures to experience, it hasn't left me wanting more.

Don't misinterpret this, I love reading and watching documentaries regarding travel and other countries and cultures, but crowds, airports, travel delays etc fill me with dread.

To be in the Highlands of Scotland, the smaller islands, or South-East coast of Ireland, give me rolling hills, isolated countryside, stormy beaches. What gives me happiness and calm is the lovely isolated parts of the UK where I can travel without crowds. It may seem boring to others, but I admire the solo backpacker navigating other countries just as I hope they would accept my travel choices are mine because that suits what I crave which isn't available in my normal daily life.

Sorry OP but you did put it out there for people’s views. You shouldn’t be overwhelmingly surprised when people volunteer opinions.

You asked if you were unusual and it seems, statistically speaking, that you are quite unusual.

I don’t think people are judging you - no one is saying you are a bad person for not wanting to go overseas - but they are questioning why you seem to be choosing to cut yourself off from something which many find to be very enjoyable and life affirming when there are no obvious reasons to do so. Particularly because the reasons you have given seem somewhat illogical.

I just also think it’s a classic case of not knocking something until you have tried it. Do it once and if you hate it by all means never do it again

But you seem to be taking a weird contrarian pleasure from dissing something from a position of no knowledge and then asking for validation for it on here.

It's a bit like children who say they don't like a certain food before they've even tried it!

I think this thread is a fascinating demonstration of our society's normalisation of cheap mass international travel, which has only existed for about 50 years.

On other threads about cutting down on air travel in light of the environmental crisis the entitlement demonstrated by some posters has verged on the ridiculous. "I absolutely need two sunny holidays a year and even though I don't earn much I simply can't countenance the thought of holidaying in the UK".

The vast majority of the people on this thread, and among the general population, find it weird that someone wouldn't go abroad and seem to regard it as almost mandatory, or something to be pitied if you don't or can't.

We really need to reset our attitude towards international travel. It's an extremely luxurious privilege and not a right.

I don’t think people are judging you

Just calling me an insular, stupid, wierd bigot. Nope. That's definately not judgemental

It's a bit like children who say they don't like a certain food before they've even tried it!

Not saying I don't like it tho, think I've stated many times I'm open to maybe in the future going?

I suppose if we're going with wierd analogies, you could compare it to women who don't want children, but enjoy their nieces and nephews.

To me you are but many of the people I have met throughout life are the same . A lot of families couldn't afford it when the kids were young and they didn't know 'how ' to do it as adults and it became the norm to holiday in England ..
I haven't been to many seaside places in this country because of it so often have no clue what they are talking about .

@Lockheart

Well said.

I would find it unusual in our climate because we rarely have guaranteed nice beach and swimming in the sea weather. However I know many Australians who have never left their country or state as they have all they want and need for a holiday on their doorstep. I know people on the continent who are similar. They have travelled only for family weddings. Otherwise they never leave their home country.

It is nice to see other cultures but let’s face it, Europe is now so accessible that a lot of the main cities and beach resorts are the same. Other than the sights of course but if you don’t have any burning ambition to see them in person, you are probably not alone.

Yes, I've thought a few places look interesting, and one day maybe I'll visit. But there isn't a burning desire to do it right now and it wouldn't be the end of the world if I never did

OP, I do think this is quite sad. The world is smaller than it has ever been and there is so, so much out there.

I think you would surprise yourself actually if you did go away. Start small. Book yourself a cheap flight to Barcelona, go for a swim in the Mediterranean Sea, feel the sand between your feet and the warm sun on your skin, take a walk down Las Ramblas, stop for lunch and wash down tapas with a nice glass of wine, soak in the atmosphere. Relax and enjoy. I think you’d never look back.

There is a sense of freedom with travel, which I have never experienced holidaying in the UK.

I think it is unusual. Partic as you are in the U.K. wonderful places to travel in U.K. but we are so close to so much else.
I am less surprised by eg Americans who don’t have passports as there is more variety of landscape there and even more to see (and more insularity also).
Have fun if you do get a passport.

Lockhart but this isn’t what this thread is about: there are absolutely valid reasons to minimise air travel to minimise emissions and it’s absolutely the case that for a generation or so, people have been very blasé about this.

But the op is not making a point about the impact on the environment. She is saying she has no desire to go overseas and then asking for people to back her up.

And then when the majority of posters suggest that she is missing out she is throwing her toys out of the pram because they don’t all agree with her.

It would be totally understandable if there were an environmental impetus for her position but there isn’t - just an apparent determination not to enjoy something which most people do enjoy.

How have I thrown my toys out of the pram? Genuinely?

I wasn't posting for people to "back me up" I was interested to see how unusual I am in my position, and from many posts on this thread, I'm not alone in this

@thepeopleversuswork I know what the thread is about, I'm commenting on the attitude, writ large in this thread, that international travel is something everyone simply must partake in and it's so odd that someone doesn't.

We have a very warped view of what is essential and what is a luxury these days. We've overstretched our hand. And I'm only 30, I've been brought up within this culture. I'm not speaking from an I-remember-when-all-this-were-fields position.

OP is unusual in that she hasn't been abroad. But she shouldn't be. International travel should not be the default.

Very unusual, I dont know anyone who never left the country.

You keep saying there are amazing places in the UK but it isnt an either or situation. My mothers family is Scottish so on the years we didnt go abroad we went to Scotland to visit and explore.

You mention children, so they I am guessing have never been either. Do they ask to go? If you can afford it/are able to travel and are stopping them as you simply dont fancy it, I think that is very sad.

I will be flamed but I do think it's quite narrow minded to think you never need to leave the tiny part of the world you were randomly born into...