Friend leaving DC in car?

[LadySlipper11]

A friend of mine came round for coffee earlier, and as her DD (13 months) had fallen asleep in the car she left her there.... AIBU to think thats a bit weird? She wasnt parked on my driveway, just on the road, and for some reason I felt this was unsafe - but I'm not sure why I thought that. I did say "oh, will she be ok in there?" and my friend just said "of course!" as if I was being ridiculous. What is everyone else's thoughts? I'm a mean mother who wakes her child up (even though I try my best not to!) to transfer them into the house!

It's a well known fact that anyone who doesn't do this is a way better parent than anyone who does. You get extra parenting points if you judge about it in a pretend non-judgy way on social media too.

I wouldn't. We left our dc occasionally but in our locked yard but even trying to keep an eye on them they sometimes woke up crying and missing us.

@opticaldelusion I think you are affected and patronising
I’m quite happy to consider myself a better parent than someone who leaves a thirteen month old baby asleep alone in a car on a road. So they can have a coffee.

Lazy and cruel at best

she’d wake up upset and beg her Mum not to do it again

At 13 months? What marvellous communication skills. Clearly spending her entire time alone in cars didn't damage her language acquisition.

@opticaldelusion I think the point is a thirteen month old is unable to do that and thus depends on our sensible responsible er I don’t know parenting decisions

Never did this with mine. I used to risk waking them by moving them in to the house. I would worry about them waking up and me not hearing them but I supposed it's up to your friend if she's comfortable with it.

It’s a no from me.

Well, it's not a strange place to wake up in if she sleeps in the car regularly.

@opticaldelusion, where does that poster say her cousin was 13 months?! You appear to have taken this rather personally and are being a bit of a knob.

Nope, I wouldn't do this. I have sat in the back of the car with a book waiting for my DD to wake up more than once!

On the drive for sure but not on the road.

If I passed a car with a baby in it with no adults to be found I would be knocking on every door in the area

Was the 'friend' regularly popping back to the car to check on said sleeping
child?

I wouldn’t, when my girls were that small we had isofix seats so could easily click them out and carry them into the house. If they fall asleep now they’re bigger, I’d only park on drive, grab a coffee and go back and sit in the car til they wake.

I’ve been at nursery and I’ve seen small babies left in cars while the parents take older child in. One car I’ve seen twice with baby in seat asleep and the engine running, car left totally unattended. Was totally gobsmacked.

We had a freak car fire outside my house and dread to think about if one of the kids had been left to sleep unattended

Done it a couple of times with my youngest but left a phone in car dialling phone in house as a baby monitor when we visited grandparents as their house is really loud so transferring wouldn’t have worked. At home one of us sits til they waken as 9/10 times they waken when transferred.

It’s a shitty, shitty thing to do. A baby waking up in the car without its parents is scary and traumatic for them and they can work themselves up into a complete state.

It’s cruel, selfish/lazy and unnecessary.

My parents made me sleep in the car all night when we were on holiday in Austria cos there wasn’t room for me in the tent! I was 9. I had really forgotten about it until now and I don’t remember being scared or hysterical but maybe I’m just a bit of a drip. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I Wouldn’t leave a toddler asleep in car in the road though, just in case they managed to get out of seat or woke up panicking.

@lekky12 yes of course, and we were in the front room so could see the car. I'm not trying to imply she is irresponsible, I just wondered how other people handle this situation.

It's a no from me.

Not even in the driveway.

My sister does this a lot....parks the car on the path outside next doors garden and leaves her son there sleeping.
Occasionally goes to the living room window to look.
always gives me major anxiety...

I never did this when mine were that age, but actually I was the only person I know who didn't, out of all my family and friends. Everyone else thought I was the weird one.

None of their children were injured or traumatised by it, so I clearly wasn't a better parent than any of them, just a more anxious one.

@opticaldelusion, where does that poster say her cousin was 13 months?! You appear to have taken this rather personally and are being a bit of a knob.

^this

Someone’s feeling defensive I suspect...

@LadySlipper11 you might not be implying it and I believe that but she is

I would never, ever leave a (young) child alone in a car. Not under any circumstances.

I would leave a child under those circumstances if I thought the child wouldn't wake and become distressed. Most kids probably would get distressed if left for long. One of my children was very chilled and wouldn't have minded, so I left her sometimes.

But anyway if you can see them - and you say that your friend could see out the window - or if you are checking them often, then they needn't be awake alone for long anyhow.

Personally I hate the thought of a child being distressed, and do everything I can to avoid it. But I'm struck by the thought that probably many people wouldn't leave a young child to cry alone in a car, yet would leave her to cry alone in a cot... I don't see the difference.