Wtf? Why do I feel sorry for him? *trigger rape*

[SingleSidedShoulderShrug]

What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Me?!!

Im such a weirdo. I was raped when I was 15, I ignored it for 15 years and now Then I saw him and It all came back and hit me in the face. So I reported him, I went to video suite, the police officers have been so kind and nice, they managed to track him down.. not really difficult! They interviewed him and he obviously denies everything but apparently cried through the interview.

Here my aibu.. I felt bad! I felt sorry for him, he cried during a police interview and I felt bad. Because I put him in that room with them. What the fuck is wrong with me?

This man raped me at knife point in his house when I was 15 and he was an adult, he has fucked my mental health up beyond belief and I feel sorry for him?! Wtf?! All I could think about when I read the email about the case update was 'god I bet him and his wife have had a really shit week, I even toyed with the idea of dropping charges but I'm not going to. I want to see this through. CPS have enough to charge and I'm going all the way. This man deserves to go prison for taking away my innocence

Aibu to give myself a kicking mentally to stop feeling like this?

Girl. You're a fucking hero for sending this piece of shit where he belongs. GO YOU!

@cavabiensepasser thank you! I'm staying alcohol free whilst I heal mentally (one month alcohol free)! But I really wanted to open the bottle that's in the fridge!!

He put himself in that room. His choice, his actions.

Maybe you don't feel sad, maybe its pity. He has ruined his life whereas you now can start to heal yours and find closure (whatever that is for you).

What an amazing amount of courage you have. Well done!

This stuff is always complicated.

You were a child, and he absolutely deserves to go to prison for a very long time so that you can feel safe and get some closure and so that he doesn’t do this to anyone else.

You’ve done absolutely the right thing, he is responsible for his shit week, and the consequences of raping you at knifepoint. None of this is your fault.

Please don’t give yourself a hard time, you are brave and strong (you survived right), take care of yourself in the way that you would your best friend if she was you right now.

Maybe because it’s built into our consciousness that “men can’t help it”. It’s always the woman’s fault, somehow. Being in the wrong place, at the wrong time, in the wrong clothes etc.

I agree with the PP though - what you are doing is amazing. So tough to go through. You have my utter admiration.

Thank you :) I'm going to carry on meditating, doing the emdr therapy that's fucking amazing and talking.

You have absolutely nothing to feel sorry for. Nothing at all. He committed a horrific crime against you and these are the consequences. Yes, this will have all kinds of impacts on his life. He chose the action. What about the impact on your life, when you had no choice? I’m sure he cried. Tears of remorse? Frankly, I would think the tears were for himself not because he was sorry for what he did. Also- you didn’t put him in that room. He did. I can understand feeling a little bad - it will affect not only him but others as well. However, you really have nothing to feel bad about. He created the situation, you did not.💐

I'm glad he went through that. Mine never did and now he's dead.

We feel all kinds of things that we shouldn't when we've been sexually assaulted/raped. Don't beat yourself up about it.

There is nothing wrong with you for having conflicting and confusing feelings. You’re a kind and decent person who has to engage with an adversarial judicial process.
What you’re feeling is completely normal and part of what makes reporting this stuff so hard.

Perhaps if this man had an iota of the empathy and humanity that you do, he wouldn’t have raped a child at knifepoint.

Currently going through a similar case myself Op, they more often than not...cry!

It’s to manipulate people. Don’t let him!

Good for you, you should be so proud of yourself it took me over 10 years

Your amazing!

@Lipsygirl keep going xx you're amazing!

Thank you

I am finding it hard to be honest, if you ever feel like this, just remind yourself why your doing this. Hold on in there, you’ve got this x

OP, he put himself in that room. You’re amazing for doing this x

Just imagine all the other people that will be safe from that sicko because of your bravery.

You are amazing don’t give up!

. I’m glad he’s had a shit week. He deserves a shit eternity to be perfectly honest. He’s tearful because his evil and demonic ways have caught up with him and he thought he’d got away with it.
I must say though. I do feel heartily sorry for his poor wife, assuming she didn’t know. Imagine how cold you’d feel knowing you were married to one ‘those’ I can’t even type the word.

He is feeling hard done by because after 15 years he presumed he had gotten away with it. He is upset but only because this time it is his life being torn apart, not yours. You have been brilliant to get this far especially when it is 15 years later. Stay strong OP.

Did he care how terrified you were.
You were 15 not much more that a little girl.

DH reported historic abuse from his childhood a few years back.
He’s a confident, articulate successful lawyer (not criminal but still, knows his way round a courtroom).
His abuser was by then in his 80s and frail. So many people, including Fil, made him feel guilty for reporting but as a result of his statement, the police were able to find numerous other victims who had suffered far worse and evidence that the school had covered up his crimes.
He was not found guilty of rape but was convicted of some of the lesser offences.
DH says it was the single worst thing he’s ever had to do in his life but he’s so glad he did it.

Stay strong. What you’re doing is so important and is worth much more than the outcome of a trial (if it ever gets to that).

Well done reporting it.

He did it. He brought this up on himself.

And I bet you weren't the only one.

That goes to Lypsygirl too!

Op, I can only empathise with you. I was groped a couple of times by an older family friend at 15. There were also several occasions from ages 7+ he inappropriately touched me. Got on with my life, I thought.

About 8 years later he walked past a cafe when I was having lunch with my family and I looked him in the eye. He looked back and then looked away.

It immediately sent me to shock and tears. If that happened now, 10 years later, maybe I would say something, like call him a disgusting pathetic man, I don't know.

My parents knew, they stopped him coming over when he got more gropey. My DM is still good friends with his wife, once she borrowed a child's travel cot from her for my DD to use when visiting which I found weird.

I really admire your strength in reporting it, triggered by seeing him. Your feelings are valid and the tears from the abuser always come. Mine kept telling my Dad how it was all a misunderstanding and how he wanted to apologise to me.

I know it's hard but don't think about what this is doing to him. That's his responsibility and his problem. You are responsible for taking care of yourself. He did a terrible, disgusting thing and now he's paying the price. Maybe's he's changed and he regrets it, but that doesn't take away what he did to you.

Well done op, you're the stuff of legends. Continue with the case and nail that bastard!

He only cried because its came back to bite the sick fuck in the arse! Yadnbu and please do not care for this rapey bastard

💐🍰 stay strong

💐. Well done you. Stay strong.