Ex going on holiday

[mnem]

So we split up before I have birth. My ex is going on holiday when our child will be 3 months old am I being unreasonable being annoyed

He can go on holiday, but how does he propose to cover his share of the childcare for that week? That is the principle issue. If he has just announced he is going and has no plans as to what will happen with the DC whilst he's away then it isn't unreasonable for you to be annoyed at all that he is just swanning off and leaving you to cope when you don't have the same luxury.

Well when you stop breastfeeding - you book a holiday for a week

One week? wow my ex hasn’t seen my kids for 3 years. Yabu btw. Sounds like he’s otherwise a good dad so it’s one week, ONE.

I think it’s unfair to criticise OP because other dads aren’t involved.

This guy has been involved in the daily routine of his children. If a mother decided to take off for a week and leave he dad with all the work Without consultation I am sure there would be he odd eyebrow raised.

How often would he see the children in that week?

Sorry missed your update.

Did he let you know he was going on holiday in good time? Do you expect him to never go away on holiday?

It’s a mans world OP😊. Very few mothers of a three month old and and older child could take a week child free holiday. Yet here we have a lot of people defending this blokes right to a child free holiday, and criticising you for being a bit put out.

Unfortunately there is very little you can do about it, but do try and carve out some time for yourself.

wow my ex hasn’t seen my kids for 3 years

While that’s obviously rubbish for you and your kids it’s irrelevant to OP.

So he sees them most days and at the weekends when he takes them out?
Were you expecting him to offer to take you and the children also? You have stated that 3mth old is still BF. So of course you would have to go as well.

Maybe he would have taken only the children if you weren't BF. In the future would you want to go on holiday without DC? If so, maybe he will look after the DC.

YABU. He’s your ex. What’s the issue here?

YABU, he's allowed a holiday.

My ex went on holiday for 3 weeks last year. We have a 6 year old together. Doesn't bother me.

It’s a mans world OP😊. Very few mothers of a three month old and and older child could take a week child free holiday. Yet here we have a lot of people defending this blokes right to a child free holiday, and criticising you for being a bit put out.

This. Tell him you hope he has a nice time and you'll be organising your own child-free holiday once the baby is weaned.

Couldn't disagree with everyone else more.

I think you're getting a lot of typical MN responses here.

I completely understand how you feel.

I'm assuming you both willingly made the new baby but whilst your life has changed and you now have all the additional responsibilities and restraints a new baby brings, your ex's life is carrying on the same as before to the extent he's even going on holiday without said baby when the baby is only 3 months old. Something you obviously can't do.

It is unfair. It is frustrating. And I would expect him to be around to give a hand regardless of whether you're together or not. He/she is his baby too!

Really some tragically low expectations of men on this thread!

Unfortunately this is also the reality for many couples who are still together when one needs to travel and be away for work for lengthy periods, despite having small children.

I get it. Life with a newborn is knackering, it must be galling to think of him relaxing without a care in the world. There's nothing to be done though.

Why not book something nice for when baby is weaning/can be given expressed milk. He can have the baby while you spa/weekend away/have a afternoon in a cafe.

It sounds as if he is a hands on dad , hopefully paying for his kids, even though you aren’t together.
When the children are older let him take them on h9liday so you can go. At the moment it’s unreasonable to expect him not to be able to go away just because you’re breast feedings .Now if he’s failing to pay towards the children but finding the cash to go on holiday that’s a totally other issue

There's 4 kids. 17 down. He pays and does work and school runs it's April half term, which had also upset me

It is shit especially as it’s during school holidays and he’s presumably not thought to invite any of the older children to go on holiday with him?

Once this baby is weaned, if not before, I think you could do with drawing up a proper schedule so you get some much needed child free time as well.

What do you mean, "April half term?"
Half terms are February/May/October ish.

So he is leaving you alone to care for three kids (17 year old is probably pretty self sufficient)over half term.

Yep I can see why you are annoyed.

Who is he going away with - did he not want to take the older kids?

@itwasnt
They are separated, I don’t think he’s obliged to get OPs approval.

It sounds as if he is a hands on dad , hopefully paying for his kids, even though you aren’t together

It sounds like OP is a hands on mum and is hopefully paying for her kids even though they aren’t together, so is it ok for her to randomly leave the kids with him for a week with no consultation too?

He’s not obliged to get your approval, your separated, once you stop breastfeeding he can have the children overnight/long periods and you can go on holiday.

It sounds like OP is a hands on mum and is hopefully paying for her kids even though they aren’t together, so is it ok for her to randomly leave the kids with him for a week with no consultation too?

The op is the RP so totally different