Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel so sad that they obviously don’t like me

39 replies

PeepeeDarling · 19/02/2020 16:04

Worked in an office last couple years at the same time I’ve been studying in the evenings for a professional qualification in another field.
Ive been offered a job relating to my studies so have put in my notice which my boss has been lovely about wishing me well. As work is busy I’ve offered to stay late some days to make sure everything’s sorted before I leave next month.
The boss announced my leaving in the team meeting to rest of team (about 20 of us) since then 3 people have commented the rest have completely ignore it which is fine I’m not expecting everyone to be excited for me.
However since then some people in the office have completely ignore me -silence treatment.
I thought they were my friends we’ve been working together a while honestly I thought they’d be at least civil about it?
I feel like the next month giving notice is going to be horrendous.

OP posts:
Deathraystare · 19/02/2020 19:04

Well, sod them. Don't arrange drinks or bring in cakes for them. Carry on as normal. It will annoy them if you are not affected by their cold shoulder. Feckers!

Cherrysoup · 19/02/2020 19:06

Are they jealous that you’re going onto bigger and better? Feeling betrayed or maybe scared to speak because you’re leaving? Or are they just a negative bitchy group who use any opportunity to slag off colleagues? Keep chatting to the nice ones, be bright, brave and breezy, don’t let strange behaviour get you down.

KatherineJaneway · 19/02/2020 19:18

I thought they were my friends we’ve been working together a while honestly I thought they’d be at least civil about it?

As PP have said it is likely jealousy. You have achieved your professional qualification and are moving onto a new career and they are still there and you are no longer 'one of them'. Might remind them that they are destined to stay there and they might be upset you'll earn more money than them.

It is sad when people turn out not to to be the people you thought they were.

Mary1935 · 19/02/2020 19:22

They maybe talking about what gift to give you?
Hopefully it’s that.
Well done re job.

ChikiTIKI · 19/02/2020 19:28

Congratulations on your new job and career change!

Just take this as another good reason to leave. Imagine if you had worked there for decades and then they showed their true colours like this at the end! At least you've not wasted too much time investing in these people.

I have left a job before knowing full well that I will never see or speak with the people again-they were nice enough and we got along great but we weren't friends. I was polite about leaving though and felt it a shame not to see them again-I did care about them but wasn't sad.

Its not hard to be polite and professional. They are really showing their arses! Try not to let them ruin your days. If it gets really bad mention it to your manager-maybe you could work from home or in another office for a bit?

leli · 19/02/2020 19:32

I guess they are just thinking you're going to be gone so why make the effort - apart from the genuine souls who will really miss you - and 3's enough for a sincere goodbye.

Enjoy your next job!

XingMing · 19/02/2020 20:04

Don't over think it; they are not real friends, just soon to be ex colleagues. Anyone you feel real warmth to, reach out to stay in touch, and let the rest go.

Bluerussian · 19/02/2020 21:07

They may have mixed feelings, ie are pleased for you on one hand but know how well they have been able to rely on you since you've worked there.

Whatever the reason I'm sure they'll be back to normal in a few days. I hope so.

Well done for getting such a good new job and I hope it is all you want. Wine

Hassled · 19/02/2020 21:09

I think some people get so invested in their jobs/place of work that leaving is seen as a disloyalty. I had this when I left my previous job - there was an air of indignation that I could possibly want more or think that another organisation might suit me better. To them, that job was their life. I was really sad about it at the time - the more I enjoy my current job, the less I care, and I'm sure it will the same for you.

BlimeyCalmDown · 19/02/2020 22:28

Maybe they feel a bit left behind, not your fault though! You are off to bigger and better things! and hopefully better colleagues....

PeepeeDarling · 20/02/2020 07:57

Thank you all I know you’re all right a few months from now it will be a memory just got a few more weeks to get through. Think now I realise it’s quite common for this happen I feel better it’s not just about me more about them. Thanks all

OP posts:
Eeyoresstickhouse · 20/02/2020 08:27

I left a job after 7 years and several promotions and I didn't even get a fucking card! The job after that I was there 9 months and I got flowers, wine, chocolates and 7 cards! Some places are just arseholes.

Mummyzzz044 · 20/02/2020 10:46

I left a job, had some issues with some of the girls there maybe 3 of them.
Anyway fast forward two years I was sick of doing shifts so decided to go back and they offered me a better position, more money.

I went back and honestly I've never had such an awkward welcome back. Almost everyone ignored me!!!! I couldn't understand it. When I was away I dont know for sure but seems like I was a hot topic and some of the other girls had there say.
Eventually I ended up getting really upset and they got us all together to get it out in the open. I have never been so attacked in my life. And even HR manager turned round and told them their reasoning was a little pathetic. For example one girl didn't like me because when I was gone this girl 'Kelly used to sit with her on lunch' now I'm back she no longer sits with them.
Maybe because she could see i wasn't welcome??
Again fast forward almost two years I feel we all get along really well. No arguments, I enjoy their company. Yet now and again my gut feeling tells me they all gather in the corner to bitch about me.
Not sure why I'm writing this just your post kinda reminded me of all of it, its really not nice but you will be out of there soon and I can almost guarantee the problem isn't with you. It's with them.

PeepeeDarling · 20/02/2020 16:40

Today was more of the same but feel able to handle it a little better. Its awkward but ticking off the days now

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page