To dislike my 5 year

[iwantalittleone]

Ok I'm half-jesting but my god my 5 year old DS is really, really testing me.

He's got tonsillitis at the moment so I fully appreciate that he's not going to be on top form but even when he's well I feel like sometimes he hates me or something!

The constant whinging, whining, crying, bad attitude, speaking to me like he detests me is wearing me down. He's as good as gold at school but I genuinely sometimes really dislike his company and that makes me feel so sad. Does it pass? I'm at the end of my tether I feel like it's only me he does this for

Do you spend time together doing stuff he enjoys and wants to do? Does he enjoy time with other people? Have you watched him with them to see what the difference is?

Yes we do lots together and when he is getting his own way he is absolutely fine, happy, good as gold but the minute he doesn't get what he wants or just now for example he was shouting me from his bedroom and because I didn't get there quick enough he's having a full blown meltdown. It's almost like he thinks I should jump as soon as he clicks except he can't think like that I assume because he's 5 and that's way to manipulative

Today had been hard being at home with him he's especially bad tempered as he's poorly which I get but I just feel beaten

Kids are not toys, they are just small humans. Humans are different, some nice, some despicable. Luck of the draw.

I get you OP.

I have a 5 year old boy and I am starting to worry that we’re not getting on very well

He’s a real daddy’s boy and he just seems to whine, moan and act up with me. This in turn makes me short tempered and moody with him.

I feel awful about it.

So for you

Bleubel I'm very glad it's not just me. Most days I can handle him, snap him out the moods etc but today has been another level.

I love him so much, I feel desperately sorry for him because he is poorly and feeling rotten today but he is so up and down all the time I sometimes wonder if he is bi-polar - and I really don't want to use that term lightly but he's just gone from screeching banshee to laughing and joking in a split second. Is that all 5 years old or should I have genuine concerns I really don't know.

Ironically my DS is the longed for baby that prompted my username years ago which makes me feel even more guilty!

That’s 5 year olds , not a severe mental illness.
They can switch on a sixpence and some days can act like they despise you and the next like you’re their favourite person on the whole planet !
It’s just another form of boundary testing and not knowing how to control their emotions. He’ll grow out of it in time

My 5 year old son is such hard work. Very demanding and has a breakdown at the drop of a hat.
We discuss learning to be patient all the time but it seems it's not in his personality ha.
I'm hoping it's just an age thing. But hes not like this at school or with other family members so it must be me. I worry that its cos I work full time and he wants more time with me. I do what I can but It upsets me.

It may feel like you are the only one he does it for but that's because you are his safety, he's a typical 5 year old. When DS was little I would pick him up from the childminders and she'd say how well behaved he had been, and he would promptly turn into a devil child. it will pass, and in the meantime, deep breaths!

Thank you FizzyIce and I really just want to add I was not trying to be offensive by using bi-polar as an example or use the term incorrectly etc.

I'm aware my posts are very rambly today I'm trying to get it out here so I don't erupt at home

My just turned 6 yr old is a twat sometimes and it gets me down.I think they test boundaries at this age I'm hoping it's just a phase

Wow, my 4yo is the same way and all about his Dad. I was starting to think I was just a crap parent so this is reassuring. Sorry you're struggling too though.

@iwantalittleone oh don’t be silly, I know !
I just don’t want you to worry unnecessarily.
They really are just mind fucks!
My dd is 8 now and I am her favourite person hands down but some days she gives me the most withering look that I swear could kill someone from 20 paces if I’ve said no to something or god forbid asked her to wear something I’ve chosen.
It does get better .. for a little while atleast and then it’s pre-teens and then teens .. it’s fab !

We had a bit of a phase at 5 of bad behaviour. Is he in reception. This seems to be a bad time. Hitting, arguing, refusing to do as asked etc.

Just about to turn 6 and we’ve had a massive corner turn in the last few months.

Not sure if it’s a stage thing - he is much happier in Yr 1- or all the things I put in place - reward charts, clear but fair consequences, taking him to kung fu as a hobby etc.

Haha I am so glad I posted just to know it's not just me! He is in reception and took a little while to settle in - it's reassuring to read there's possible light at the end of the tunnel ha!

I was starting to think motherhood was not for I imagine leaving sometimes then feel so, so awful for even having that thought - writing it has made my stomach turn - I must want to stay really haha!

Everything you are feeling is normal. X

It’s not just you

Mydog - thank you, it really is very reassuring!

He sleeps for now, let's hope he's feeling better in body and mind tomorrow

Five year olds aren’t great.

I feel your pain. DS1 is 5. Up until now he has been pretty easy to parent. He was a delight. The first term at school went like a dream. But this last half term has been bloody hard. Much more back chat and boundary pushing at home. Good behaviour at school but he's also developed some health anxieties and gets fixated on things and just won't let them go.

His best friends parents are also finding 5 the hardest bit yet.

I'm really hoping it's a developmental stage.

Have you heard of 'The book you wish your parents had read'? My lo is only 15 months but I really, really liked its approach to parenting and it instinctually feel like a really good way to be with your children. Maybe worth a read?

Hope it improves op. It's actually a positive you're aware of it and want it to change - and you can make it happen I bet.

DD was the most charming, gentle, mild-mannered child ever... Until she turned five. She's still all of those things, but suddenly started throwing tantrums to rival a particularly whiney toddler. It's immensely irritating.

Could b

My 9 year old had this type of thing when he was that age, loved his dad, tortured me. But he also seemed to me to have an underlying anxiety.

I don't know if that applies to your son, but after lots of research I eventually decided he fit the description for mild oppositional defiant disorder. It explained a lot and helped me feel it wasn't all my fault.

And the good news is, he's outgrown lots of the behaviours and is great to be around now

PANDAS, with the infection.
My dd always goes 'crazy' when ill though becomes really impulsive. Or even after flu spray etc

He is a child, you do sound a bit victim like to be honest. My DH does this - makes it all about him “DD hates me, she speaks to me like she hates me” etc

No, she doesn’t. She is young and immature so unable to articulate herself properly.