I have been with my partner for 5 yrs, living together for 3 yrs.
Last November my partners mother sadly lost her husband to cancer, a terrible time for all involved, and every sympathy to her.
However her husband did everything, from driving, to doing the shopping to diy and gardening and sorting finances. Therefore she is really struggling to cope on her own.
So my partner and I are trying to do everything we can to help, but it has got to the stage where she wants us to go round virtually everyday, to deal with minor issues that really she could do herself.
My partner is self employed, and works full time, so a lot of this falls onto my shoulders as I work part time. However when I am not working I have a million and one other things to do, including looking after my son and a household of animals.
For example this week, we went round both sat and sun to help her clear out some garden sheds. Then on tues my partner went round to sort out her reclycing and to go to the tip for her. Today she has asked me to take her food shopping, then slipped in she wanted to get some wormer form the vets and could I stop in town to take her to the bank (so won't have time to do my own chores). Then she has asked me to take her to a routine blood test on fri.…….the list goes on.
She does drive, but as her husband did the majority, she is very underconfident, and tbh having seen her drive, maybe the best option not too. However we have sorted out a bus pass for her and she has 2 local taxi company numbers as an alternative.
She also suffers from anxiety, especially to do with her health, and the weekend prior she insisted we took her to a&e as thought she had chest pains - we decided to call an ambulance just in case but although the paramedics couldn't find anything wrong, still took her into hospital to be on the safe side. We stayed with her in hospital all day with to only be told at 6pm there was nothing wrong and to go home...….and this is not the first time.
The issue is that I am starting to resent her, (and my partner to a lesser extent, although appreciate with the hours he works, finds it hard to be 'on call' all the time.) I feel so selfish, but part of me thinks she is not my mother, or a even a relation, and I did not 'sign up for this'...……..don't get me wrong - if it was a matter of a quick call each day, and going over a couple of times a week to keep her company not such an issue, but this pressure every day is really getting to me.
She has no close friends, and although there is another brother, he refuses to come and help (we have asked on numerous occasions but was a miracle he even turned up to the funeral). She is not at the stage we could apply to social services for care.
Any ideas on how to deal with the situation, without causing too much upset?