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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU when staying in someone’s house.........

45 replies

Pinkponiesrock · 19/02/2020 00:52

To go to bed and watch films after putting child to bed?

Have dinner together all together, cooked by hosts then guests put child to bed at 7pm, then each have a shower, then disappear into bedroom to watch a film, reappear for a cup of tea then go to bed.

This is every night,” not just a one off and on different occasions.

Am I missing something here? Hmm is this normal guest behaviour?

OP posts:
klaudiarr · 19/02/2020 00:54

Sorry, I don't understand what you mean? What are they meant to do?

puds11 · 19/02/2020 00:56

Depends on age and how long they are staying. If they were quite young then fair enough or if it was quite a long stay I could understand it. Tbh it wouldn’t bother me regardless.

SmallChickBilly · 19/02/2020 00:58

I suppose it depends how long they are staying, how often you see each other etc, but in general I think it's a bit weird to not spend any time with their hosts! I can only imagine that being appropriate for guests who have been staying for a while or under specific circumstances, so would find it very odd if someone did that to me.

FlamingoAndJohn · 19/02/2020 00:59

Are they there to visit you or just staying with you for some other reason?

If they are there to visit then after dinner and putting children to bed sitting around drinking and chatting is the usual run of things.

Original poster
Pinkponiesrock · 19/02/2020 00:59

Sorry what I mean is the guests put their child to bed, who goes straight to sleep, then instead of coming back and sitting in the living room or kitchen the guests go and sit in their bedroom and watch a film on their own. Reappear later make a cup of tea, say goodnight and go to sleep.

OP posts:
SnowsInWater · 19/02/2020 01:00

If they are staying with you for a long time maybe they are trying to give you some space? Constant entertaining/socialising can be tiring. I would expect guests to stick around after dinner for the first couple of nights though, especially if there have been kids around all day.

Original poster
Pinkponiesrock · 19/02/2020 01:02

Not young, staying anything from one night to a week, and maybe 5 or 6 times a year. Also staying at their request.

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 19/02/2020 01:02

I’d be delighted with that!

It’s hard work being on your best behavioir all day.

Disquieted1 · 19/02/2020 01:03

Appalling behaviour by the guests.
If one night they say "we've had a crazy day and just want to crash" then that's fine. But regularly - that's very poor form. Disrespectful even.

marashino · 19/02/2020 01:04

It depends who they are and why they are staying with you.

OneHanded · 19/02/2020 01:04

And you have a problem with what they’re doing? Sorry, it’s still not clear, but if so sounds like they’re being normal.

ineedaholidaynow · 19/02/2020 01:05

Why are they visiting? Do you spend all day with them?

Original poster
Pinkponiesrock · 19/02/2020 01:08

Out and about doing their own thing during the day, very rarely all of us together all day.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 19/02/2020 01:11

So are they using you a bit like a hotel? Do they offer to take you out for a meal, cook a meal or contribute to the food bill whilst staying?

FiveShelties · 19/02/2020 01:13

They are using you as a hotel, tell them you have no vacancy next time.

TheNestedIf · 19/02/2020 01:18

I would think they're trying not to impose on you any more than they already are. Even if they've come specifically to see you many people need some time to themselves and they could be trying to be considerate, especially if they themselves are introverts.

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 19/02/2020 01:22

Its very strange. I wouldn’t do it. We often stay with friends when we travel back to out home country. Evenings are spent together mostly. Easting out, (or in) chatting...catching up etc. same as when they travel to us.

Harking back to that other thread where the discussion was around bring a gift if you stay at other peoples houses...we would always pay for one or two dinners out, and they do the same. But yes, generally we’re all spending time together in the evenings. Days are sometimes different, with the guests often heading out to do touristy stuff, or visit other friends. So not together 100% of the time.

BillHadersNewWife · 19/02/2020 01:23

If they stay that often they probably feel at home. I pretty much do that at MIL's house.

BoomBoomsCousin · 19/02/2020 01:24

It sounds like they're using you as a bit of a hotel and I might find it a bit rude. I expect to "earn my keep" when I stay somewhere by being good company, even though sometimes I'm exhausted and just want to slink off! But if they are coming often, as a host I might be glad of the reprieve and it's possible they are trying to be "good" guests by being as unobtrusive as possible.

FoamingAtTheUterus · 19/02/2020 01:29

They probably think they're getting out of your way 💁🏻‍♀️

Have you suggested anything ?? Id dig out the trivial pursuit and suggest a game with a few drinks or something.

Monty27 · 19/02/2020 01:31

Send them a link to airbnb. Do you like them and do they like you?
Fucking rude Shock

katy1213 · 19/02/2020 01:39

That sounds very rude. I'd be unavailable next time they suggest it.

aurynne · 19/02/2020 01:52

Oh God, these would be my ideal guests Grin

5LeafClover · 19/02/2020 01:53

Depends who they are and why they are staying with you. If it's your child plus their family visiting at half term then they might see themselves as 'at home' rather than subject to guest rules.

Wifeofbikerviking · 19/02/2020 01:54

I'd like these guests. They're trying not to impose on your evening time

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