To book my wedding without a decree absolute

[rosieposies]

Getting married in September this year. My first marriage, OH's second marriage.

In going through the process of everything we need to get together to give notice at our local registry office, OH has realised he never applied for a decree absolute after getting his nissi and is therefor still kind of married to exw.

I'm desperate to not miss out on our venue and just want to get it booked. We've got a solicitor working on it but have absolutely no idea how long this process takes. I know we should ask him but he's never in the office and takes ages to reply to emails and OH didn't think to ask when he instructed him.
There will be no problems with exw at all, it's more that I'm worried how long the paperwork will take to get turned around.

Would you book your venue and then give notice later on when you've got the absolute?

Sorry if this is in the wrong topic.

And he's the petitioner @TooTrusting phew

I had no idea this was so complicated, I thought the decree absolute was just a rubber stamp and have always wondered why divorce is a two stage process at all.

Does his wife know about the inheritance? That's the main thing I'd be concerned about!

I did the same thing. Thankfully neither of us got married as I really completely forgot about it! Realised last year and downloaded a form which I had to complete (the person who instigated the divorce has to complete the form) and send. Took about 8wks to get the decree absolute

Phone Brighton and ask what their backlog is for decree absolutes

I had no idea this was so complicated, I thought the decree absolute was just a rubber stamp and have always wondered why divorce is a two stage process at all

If you are the Petitioner it isn't. It's normally a very short tick box form, no fee. If it's >12 months since DN you have to jump through the additional hoop of providing the above information explaining the delay etc (eg I was acting in person and didn't realise I had to apply for DA). If you are the Respondent it's slightly more cumbersome as you have to apply on notice to the Petitioner (and pay a fee).

If I was advising you OP I'd say you would have the DA well before the planned wedding.

Have you spoken to your lawyer to see if his wife could put a claim in for any of the inheritance? Could she claim Anything based on his finances now? That’s what I’d be worried about.

Ex is saying she has too much on and wants to review the paperwork properly before signing, I know her and this is code for her saying she won't do it. Apparently there's a time limit and if it isn't done by the end of this week then we'll have to go down the route of doing it without her signing. I'm not sure what that means and how much harder that makes things, I know it makes things more expensive according to our lawyer.

Not going to lie it's quite icky being engaged to a 'married' man

I would imagine “ex” is checking out your FILs will to see if she would have been entitled to something. I would imagine she knew they were still married - not the sort of thing you don’t know about.

Does the ex know he is wanting to get married?

Yes @Knewyou she knows our plans are for September

He doesn't need her consent to apply for the DA. Tell your DP to just apply for that.

It's the application for a clean break financial settlement she needs to consent to. That does NOT need to hold up the DA!

What she may be entitled to is completely fact-specific. On the face of it, she's extremely unlikely to get her hands on an inheritance he had several years after their divorce.

But none of this needs to hold up the DA

Listen to the divorce lawyer above. Also listen to your good common sense re getting married before having another DC and being financially dependent on a guy this undependable.

Who applied for the divorce? That's the person who normally also applies for the absolute.
I'm guessing she applied for the divorce...

So Mr "What is the rush to get married and I want to propose and do something really special" is still married? He knew that though, you do realise that OP that he knew full well that the divorce has not been finalised and he has been stringing you along, fobbing you off with "some time in the future and doing things right".

All while you stayed home raising his DC from his first (but still current) marriage and having another child with you. What is it going to take to get you to wake up to this guy?

@rosieposies I'm not all too sure as ex eventually applied for the DA but not sure when? I was soooooooo thrilled when it arrived though as the whole divorce process had taken almost 5 years!

Decree absolute took me a week to get. I'd go for it!

Decree absolute took me a week to get. I'd go for it. Neither party had applied for the Absolute for quite some time after the Nisi was pronounced so it’s not quite as simple as that, as explained further up the thread.

If you own a house together, she may be able to claim some of it. I'd call off the wedding until the DA comes through. I'd also get him to make a will today, though I'm not sure if that would invalidate what his DW is entitled to legally.

Sorry to jump on your post, hope you managed to get things sorted, but just wanted to find out if any NE had applied for absolute in the last month or two and can let me know how long theirs took to come? I’ve been waiting four weeks now thanks

@AshleyM2020 Depending on where you are, it could take a while. Registrars are prioritising essential work at the moment and many offices are closed so they may not have access to official documents/stamps etc.