Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be seriously considering hoemschooling?

47 replies

Donkeykong2019 · 18/02/2020 15:56

DD is 5 and in reception. Has various low level but complex SEN including speech sound disorder, language problems, sensory problems, social communication difficulties.

School is difficult, we have had maybe 9 or 10 positive drop offs since before October half term. Christmas and now this half term she has been a completely different child.

I'm seriously considering home schooling. I have degree level maths and she has an award until she is 9 of MRCLRM for DLA which means I am on carers so I haven't got to worry about work.

Aibu to go down this route? Any positive stories?

OP posts:
WillowUfgood · 18/02/2020 16:20

I think for some children Home education is far more beneficial than being in school.

My eldest daughter (15 in April) was diagnosed with Aspergers, ADHD and PDA when she was 9 or 10. She actually enjoyed school until yr 5 where she was bullied really badly. We looked into Home Ed as she was terrified of Secondary, and I had my concerns too with how cruel some kids can be. She was still soiling and wetting the bed at that stage and that sort of thing doesn't go unnoticed. Also her sleep pattern was awful. Awake all night and a nightmare in the mornings. If I managed to get her up on time it was screaming, shouting, throwing her things at the door, slamming doors etc. Nearly every morning I had to ring school and say that she was on her way but that it had been a stressful one.so they knew what to expect. She was undiagnosed at that point, we didn't know what the issue was (PDA).

After diagnosis, we realised that some of these things were just not going to change. We discussed home ed with her and she lit up. She absolutely wanted to go for it.

We let her finish primary school as she was still relatively happy there, had a couple of friends, but didn't apply for secondary. We schooled for a while, let her figure out her sleep/awake routine and tried to work around it. It still wasn't easy going, we tried working from books, online resources etc. My mum is/was a teacher so she would help out with the maths & English while we focused on more topical stuff and her theatre school.

When she was yr 9 equivalent age, she was able to apply to the local college that do a pre GCSE and GCSE course pre -16 and Home Educated students. She was accepted there and is now about to do her english and biology gcses in May (I think). She'll do her maths and a performing arts course next year. Her anxiety and the pda are still big issues that sometimes get the better of her/us but college are understanding and she has their Autism team for support.

TLDR;

Home educated my (almost) 15 yr old autistic DD for 3 years and she's now doing a couple of GCSES at college.

Also have a 5 yr old who we are doing the same with, with an unschooling approach. Lots of time outdoors, with some books to work from. And stickers. So many stickers.

Whatsmyname26 · 18/02/2020 16:39

Do it, best decision I ever made!

Mine are 9 and 13 now and I have no regrets. So many options for home educated children

YouFellAsleeep · 18/02/2020 16:44

My son is home educated. My only regret is not starting sooner! He has autism and was at an SN school but it just wasn’t working.

Original poster
Donkeykong2019 · 18/02/2020 16:45

Thank you.

I'm worried that her school are going to cause an issue if I do dereg her as they seem to think I'm completely inept.

It's destroying both mine and her MH and she's only 5. It should not be this difficult for her already

OP posts:
TheBabyAteMyBrain · 18/02/2020 16:50

YANBU. Ds is still a toddler but undergoing an asd assessment. Dh and I have agreed to try pre school and school with him but if he does not settle I'll home educate.

I want him strive and not just survive.

peanutbuttermarmite · 18/02/2020 16:52

I’ve taken mine out for the rest of this school year, she’s 5 and so tired of picking up a screaming child at the end of the day. I’m not sure I’d be happy to home ed long term as I don’t feel I’ve got the skills (you sound like you have!) but I do wonder who the SEN framework does help - the support you finally get is so rubbish from what I’ve seen and in most cases less good than their parent would provide if they could.

Does your education authority allow flexi-schooling where they do a few days a week?
Could be curriculum support and some socialising, I’ve found the really bad effects for my dd start on the third day in the week due to cumulative overload.

Sirzy · 18/02/2020 16:52

My son is autistic and coping brilliantly in mainstream primary with full time 1-1. There are no secondary schools (mainstream or specialist) that I believe can meet his needs so I will be homeschooling from year 7 onwards

TheBabyAteMyBrain · 18/02/2020 16:52

to thrive even 🤦

Selfsettling3 · 18/02/2020 16:54

I would homeschool in a heartbeat if I thought it was in my child’s best interest.

Floribundance · 18/02/2020 16:55

I’d ask on the SN forums. It sounds like a totally sensible idea but people on there will know about any impact opting out of the system may have if/when you’re trying to get your DS back to school with the prope support.

Selfsettling3 · 18/02/2020 16:56

By that I mean home school can be the best option for some children. My oldest child is nursery school age and at the moment is doing well and enjoying nursery but if that changed and DD2 was manageable with it then I would do it without question.

rvby · 18/02/2020 16:57

I would be concerned about taking a child with social difficulties out of school. What plans can you make to ensure she has regular time and space to observe, learn and practice social skills with peers?

myself2020 · 18/02/2020 16:59

We are not homeschooling but my son is in a private school. state schools very often cannot cope with SENDs - sad but true. 30+ kids, 1 teacher - that can’t work

Whatsmyname26 · 18/02/2020 17:01

Rvby home Ed kids have loads of opportunities to socialise in more appropriate ways and with a broader spectrum of people. Socialisation really isn’t a concern at all with most home Ed

Sirzy · 18/02/2020 17:01

rvby most areas have home schooling networks so with a little bit of research ensuring social development is pretty easily done.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 18/02/2020 17:05

Equally, there are plenty of independent schools with limited experience and capacity to deal with SEND.

It’s a neglected area in all school settings. I worked in it for many years and became increasingly frustrated by the lack of funding and suitable placements.

sauvignonblancplz · 18/02/2020 17:05

I wouldn’t hesitate to do what Is in the best interests of your child. There is no one size fits all.
I also believe there is a wealth of homeschooling info out there . Good luck Smile

Muminabun · 18/02/2020 17:07

What about moving to another school perhaps smaller? Most kids love reception as it is like pre school so it is concerning that she is finding it this tough. If you take her out you can always put her back in to mainstream when she is ready or wants to. Would putting her back a year in a different school help?

Sirzy · 18/02/2020 17:09

Most kids love reception as it is like pre school so it is concerning that she is finding it this tough

Not necessarily true. Certainly not for children with autism or similar. Your typical reception classroom is organised chaos with flexible routine and noise. Not always ideal

danadas · 18/02/2020 17:12

Best thing I ever did for my 15 year old, I just wish I had done it sooner.

If I didn't have to work, I would homeschool all mine. Schools here are so damaging and the home ed community locally is so lovely, educational and inclusive.

Speminalium · 18/02/2020 17:14

I was amazed at the difference in my daughter when she was homeschooled post house move (couldn't get her into local school). She was calmer, gentler, just happier. But she desperately wanted to go to school so we found her one. I'm missing her dreadfully, homeschooling can be tailored to your child and as a result they blossom. Schools just can't do that. Link up with other local homeschool families, there are often groups with loads of activities going on. Good luck!

Imaystillbedrunk · 18/02/2020 17:14

Most kids love reception as it is like pre school so it is concerning that she is finding it this tough

My bright and sociable boy hated reception. The chaos and lack of structure was too much. He wanted the structure, wanted the formal education setting a thrived once he started year 1

Original poster
Donkeykong2019 · 18/02/2020 17:14

If I could pull her out for the remainder of reception and start her in year 1 I would. It's the chaos and lack of routine she can't cope with. I suspect once it gets more formal in year 1 she will find it easier but it's getting to that point.

OP posts:
myself2020 · 18/02/2020 17:14

@Foxyloxy1plus1 agreed, but with independents you choose your school according to your needs. with state, its a lottery so the chances of success are much slimmer for SENDs kids. Home education with plenty of socialising sounds like a good plan

IndecentFeminist · 18/02/2020 17:18

We withdrew our eldest at the start of yr 1 and she re-entered in yr 4. Middle child started school in year 2.

HE worked well for us, and I can fully understand why a child with sensory issues etc would find reception overwhelming.

Swipe left for the next trending thread