To be seriously considering hoemschooling?

[Donkeykong2019]

DD is 5 and in reception. Has various low level but complex SEN including speech sound disorder, language problems, sensory problems, social communication difficulties.

School is difficult, we have had maybe 9 or 10 positive drop offs since before October half term. Christmas and now this half term she has been a completely different child.

I'm seriously considering home schooling. I have degree level maths and she has an award until she is 9 of MRCLRM for DLA which means I am on carers so I haven't got to worry about work.

Aibu to go down this route? Any positive stories?

I should add that I work as a 1-1 with a child in yr 4 with ASD, so by all means don't think that mainstream isn't the place for many children with extra needs, but it certainly isn't for everyone.

What has the SENCO said about her suitability for a mainstream setting? It sounds like the wrong environment for your DD. I’d ask about specialist provision before homeschooling.

My dn does not have SN but has always been home schooled. He is a teen now and very bright and sociable. Belongs to home school clubs and goes to football etc.
I think if it suits your dc then definitely do it.

Asking for specialist provision is all well and good (and in a lot of case well worth considering) however even with an EHCP in place unless things are rock bottom even by LA standards chances of getting a place before September are very slim indeed. Without an EHCP in place it is even less likely! Even then there is a very large group of children who specialist settings in their local area simply aren’t suitable because they don’t meet their needs, sadly lots of those pupils are the same who can’t have their needs met in mainstream either

If I could pull her out for the remainder of reception and start her in year 1 I would. It's the chaos and lack of routine she can't cope with. I suspect once it gets more formal in year 1 she will find it easier but it's getting to that point.

Is her year group at the school oversubscribed? If not, you can certainly do this. Home educate for the rest of the year and then send her back to the school in the autumn.

We moved my child to a different school in reception, I now know he has SEN but didn't at the time. The new school was much more play focused and gave him a couple of great years of education, and me a much needed rest after some tough times before he started primary! Struggling with the new school year this year so homeschooling on my mind again.

Definitely pull her out, I think 5 is too young for a lot of children even without the added needs of SEN.

It doesn’t have to be a permanent decision but one that can change as she does x

We pulled ours in September. 2nd day of the school year when it became very clear that no matter how much hcps parrot the "diagnosis doesn't unlock support" line the school had no intention of doing anything it didn't have too. Pulled my yr4 DD at the same time and honestly my only regret is not doing it sooner.

My 5yos speech has come on leaps and bounds now we can tailor her salt properly to her rather than follow the school salts age scheme. She will actually interact with other children (in her own way admittedly but it's something!) and adults because she's given the space and time to work through things.

My 9yo is no longer anxious about stupid tests and has gone from being behind (but not behind enough for school to actually do something 🙄) to actively seeking out harder work and researching things on her own.

It doesn't have to be forever. You could always take her out now and reapply for Yr 1 after the summer. Or even for a different school whenever you think she's ready

I work for an online school that has many pupils with issues such as your child's
It's something to consider

I would absolutely home educate in your situation.

It was clear the school would do close to zero for mine unless and until they started to fall out of the bottom of the normal range, that can be the issue with school education - you know your child can do more with more attention, but as long as they aren’t under the range the school won’t do anything except nod and smile.

I think that's part of the issue, at the moment she is at the bottom end of normal which is fine except she is November born and she is being compared alongside the summer borns who are nearly s yesr younger and still the bottom end of ok. We also can all see she is actually incredibly bright but had multiple barriers so she isn't doing what she is actually capable of. They are trying to push phonics on her but she can't hear the sounds in words to be able to speak clearly yet they want her to be able to segment words by sound.

She is very sensitive to not being able to do what she knows they want her to do. Ie at the moment she is getting increasingly upset because she can't write her name like the adults do.

I don't want things to get worse before they intervene properly

I HE. Do you have a good group of friends to support you? Does she enjoy any extra curricular activities?

yes, it all feels as though they do too little, too late and meanwhile your kid has received bad messages. Mine never came out saying she was stupid or slow until she went to school - nobody would’ve said that but she’s picked that impression up.

My son also really struggled in reception but year 1 is much better although he finds being on the playground hard and we still have issues there.

Mine are 23, 18 and 11. None of them have spent as much as an hour in a school. Was by far the best decision I made as a parent. I have no regrets at all. Kids are happy, confident, functioning members of society contrary to what most people think if they haven't gone to school.

They are trying to push phonics on her but she can't hear the sounds in words to be able to speak clearly yet they want her to be able to segment words by sound.

And they think you're inept?

I'd take her out right now, and if they so much as dare to question your ability to make a judgement call on behalf of your DD I'd offer to work with them to put in a very detailed explanation to OFSTED of exactly why you have deregistered her and the effect on her of them completely failing to meet her needs or differentiate for SEN children.

Attending school in reception year is an option not a must. Legally they do not start education till the term after their 5th birthday in a school or "otherwise".

I would pull her out immediately in your shoes. Lots of kids thrive at school and lots of kids thrive at home. At least do what suits your child if you have the opportunity as no one size fits all.

It sounds like HE could be a good option here. I think it works particularly well for children with sen, I was home educated and the proportion of kids with sen in the community was definitely higher than average. Personally I think both me and my sibling may have struggled at school, I have dyspraxia and they have some sensory issues which would have made life difficult for both them and the teachers. We're both now functioning adults, so it must have worked!

I pulled my DD out in year 8 and its the best thing I ever did.

She is now in year 10 and attending a college 14-16 unit two days a week.

In your shoes, I would de-reg now and see how it goes. You may well find you don't even want to return her to school.

Look up on FB local HE pages. It's the best way to find local families to mix with, as well as interesting things to learn with others.

@Bakedpotatoandgin I've never been in an adult work environment as noisy or crowded as most primary class rooms, I can't wait to get out of there even at drop off or pick up or when volunteering.

Most of us can choose careers that play to our strengths with some careful thought, but somehow we lack similar choices for schooling.

with hindsight, I went to a tiny school with class sizes of 12 at primary, and a huge amount of calm structure - it's very likely I wouldn't have coped in my DCs' classrooms.