To be too honest about new girlfriend .

[fortnightaway]

Think I may have shot myself in the foot.my friend had met somebody new. This person is out of a very very long term relationship with a selfish abusive much older person who was also sexually coercive.this person has declared undying love for my friend in the first three weeks and has turned into his mother overnight.cooking, cleaning, runningnafter him, be available round the clock, hanging onto his every word.
Knowing him as I do, I was very surprised. He is a commitment phobe who cannot bear needy women.
She won't use contraception and Is hung up on having a baby.
So he asked me what I thought. I told him.
Along the lines Of how surprised I am
At his choice.
And how he can have any respect for her when she throws herself at him all the time
And he picks her up and drops her as and when. Told him he treats her like shit so what is he doing when he clearly hasn't respect for her.
They are growing as a couple. He is more into it. She remains his pseudo mother.
Except now I find him trying to impress her on me and it's so Uncomfortable.
I have not met her and the impression I get is one of a fawning adoring girl following him around like a grateful poodle.It was him who told me all of this so I'm only basing my thoughts on his words. It's awkward now as I have always been on ' her side' as he was awful to her and she was clearly grateful and needy and desperate .
She still is but instead of being turned off he is really enjoying being mothered. How can I make this less awkward . I feel like I was too honest . Too late? I'd like to meet her but he keeps putting me off.

Shameless bump?
I think Insaid too much, was too honest and now that those words have been said, there is no coming back.

This sounds like it is going to implode. Is he using contraception? He bloody better well be

She won't use contraception and Is hung up on having a baby
how he can have any respect for her when she throws herself at him
she was clearly grateful and needy and desperate

Wait.... you came out with all this negative judgement about a woman you hadn't met yet?!

And you reckon those things makes it sounds like you're on 'her side'? Because they really don't.

Tbh, if he told you those things, she should ditch him (nobody should be slagging off their new GF to their friends within 3 weeks), but I'd just stop commenting on their relationship if I were you. Spend time with her only as much as you want to. But definitely stop commenting.

You sound like you fancy your friend tbh.

I think that if you've never met her you are drawing a lot of unverified conclusions.

He's an adult. No good will come of getting too involved.

Without sounding judgemental, how old are they?

But you haven't even met her.

But you've never met her?
I don't see how you can form a judgment based on stories you've heard about her.. because you've never met the girl?
There's always two sides to every story and I'd make sure you found out 'her side' before you made such judgements.

Erm....I wouldn't expect a friend to say all that about me or my new partner. As you havent met her maybe "I dont know, I haven't met her. What do you think?" Might allow you to find friends thoughts before going off on one.

Sounds like an absolute shit show, but why are you so invested?

I think that you have feeling for this guy

Is he trying to keep options open with you? Or was he at first and now he is more into her and you aren't liking it?

How long have you been in love with your friend?

The new girlfriend sounds as if she needs sympathetic help and counselling, not a boyfriend who uses her, and most definitely not a pregnancy.

Why is this person your friend? He sounds borderline abusive himself, taking advantage of a damaged woman and slagging her off behind her back.
He is the one you should have the issue with.

I'd think your friend doesn't sound very nice. he's a commitment phobe who picks her up and drops her as and when he sees fit.

It sounds like you're jealous.. this is very harsh on someone you don't know! Have you even met her?

If one of my other half's friends had such strong opinions on the dynamics of our relationship and they hadn't even met me - I would be both fuming and a bit disconcerted. I would also definitely think you were jealous.

You seem to be very sure of this woman’s character despite the fact you’ve never met. Can you elaborate as to why you hold the opinion you do?

Why would he ask you for your opinion of her when you haven't even met her? Or did you just give it to him anyway? Maybe that's why he's avoiding introducing you to each other, because you don't really sound like you'd give her a fair hearing tbh. I would stay out of it from now on. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors in anyone else's relationship. It's hard to see how you can justify being so certain that they're wrong for each other.

Blimey the poor woman. Hope she reads this on here and runs a mile from the pair of you.

Why are you friends with him? He sounds awful.

They say you can judge people by the company they choose to keep...

so maybe you should start thinking about why you choose to be friends with with someone that sounds like an abusive misogynist prick and why you've spent so much time indulging him by listening to him slag off his girlfriend.

Just try and distance yourself. He's not going to drop her on your say so, and it may go on for years. It will end in tears, eventually as it's not healthy but the more you say the more he'll dig his heels in. Just watch from the sidelines and be there to support him when it goes pear shaped.

She’s provably drop dead gorgeous

You don't know her at all just what he's said, and yes as a PP mentioned, it sounds like you are jealous. Ultimately it's none of your business, he did ask, you've answered, now leave it alone or you'll lose him as a friend if this relationship continues.