To ask for your experiences with Bath/strange atmospheres

[AliceInBlunderland13]

Semi-regular poster but I’ve name changed for this as the details could be quite outing. Also not really an AIBU but posting for traffic and all that…
There have been two periods in my life when I have lived and/or worked in the city of Bath, Somerset and I’ve experienced problems with my mental health on both occasions. The first was right after I finished by undergraduate degree in London and I moved to Bath to do a Masters at the university. I started in the October and by Christmas I was experiencing terrible panic attacks and depression. I did manage to complete the course but as soon as I finished I ended the tenancy on my flat early and moved back home. I then worked in my home town for a few years, during which time I had no problems with my mental health. Then I decided to do a PhD and took a position again at the uni in Bath. This time I didn’t move there but instead moved to a nearby town and commuted in. Yet again within a couple of months of being there I began experiencing daily panic attacks, terrible anxiety and feelings of dissociation, and depression. I tried to stick it out (had counselling, on meds etc) but I still felt utterly miserable so I recently quit the course and found a new job in another town.
Even after having counselling, I’ve never truly got to the bottom of what triggers these episodes. Logically, it could be stress related as both a Masters and a PhD are obviously a lot of work but then I dealt with the stresses of my undergraduate course just fine, and the job I had between my Masters and PhD was high-stress and I loved it – in fact I used to think I worked best with a bit of pressure.
Then the other day, I was reading an old thread on here (bored while I wait to start my new job ) about places people found creepy. Several people mentioned that they didn’t like Bath or that it had an odd atmosphere – I think one poster described it as ‘melancholy’. Now normally I’m very rational and logical (except when the anxiety takes over ) and wouldn’t give it a second thought, but I couldn’t help wondering if anyone has any experience of feeling anxious/down in a particular place, or if anyone else has felt this ‘atmosphere’ in Bath? I know some will say it’s a load of pish but I guess I’m just interested in other people’s experiences really…

Saladaysior. Also I find it genuinely fun to look at things and look for flaws and faults to seek improvement. Not everyone likes to do that I agree. Some people find it weird yes. But to be in an environment where everyone wants everything to stay exactly the same is too much. Whats worse is when they get upset for you seeking improvements or even questioning things at all. Nothing is perfect and finding improvements, even marginal fractional ones is satisfying. But when I meet people who insist not only on not bothering to change but even question change its not great.

Take the monarchy. It keeps things the same the most part, but after 9/11 someone had the idea to play the star spangled banner during the changing of the guards and its a nice touch. Not "Nope. This hasn't been changed in (Insert number of years) Nothing wrong with tradition but inject some personal touches at times. Try to feel the mood. Bath smothers people with its own mood, not bad for tourists. What about the student accommodation situation? Why is no-one able to question the council. Or the roads. Why is the design not allowed to be questioned? Or the homeless situation? The decimated high street . Can something be done? But nope, not allowed to be questioned. If you do people think its crazy. But is questioning the possibility of improving things really that bad? This authoritative super top down attitude is oppressive to some. That could be what makes the people who are unhappy there like the OP feel that way. Ive met a lot of youngsters who say they cant wait to leave and met people in other places who are from Bath originally who said the same. Could it be improved to prevent a possible brain drain while still attracting people who love it for its beauty and looks? Maybe they improve upon their economy if they did? It will be definitely be useful now with the corona fallout. Would there be more money available for services if the talented local youngsters stayed, implemented ideas, added to the work force and kept their money Bath's economy ? It's possible, but it won't be if everyone who has ideas is shut down because "we already like it and so does our friend" close conversation.

Saladaysior I can assure you that now is not the time in the middle of all thats going on to be moving anywhere. Not sure if you're being serious or not but If you tried to move anywhere now you would be met with serious derision and for good reason as the main objective is saving people not moving to a nicer house/flat. As I said time is important and just doing whatever I like because I want it now is very childish. I haven't even gone to the shop because its about protecting people not thinking solely about myself.

Not me - maybe knittingaddict?

Yes me, Freezerbird.

To answer you username, I'm a bit of a stuck up snob who happened to grow up on a council estate, so have no problem relating to people in the nice parts of Bath.

Seriously though, I'm not a parent of young children any more and I hate socialising, so you're asking the wrong person. The few I know are mostly perfectly nice ordinary people, but then I'm no class warrior.

Im so glad im not the only one who dislikes Brighton.

@usernameusrnme unless your extreme hatred of everything about Bath has only emerged in the last month, that’s a ridiculous answer.

Never been to Bath unfortunately so can't join in that argument.
However - I was finding the general discussion of places that give you weird vibes an amazing distraction so here's my contribution - Malta. Felt menacing and was on edge the entire time I was there, have never felt like that anywhere else in the world. Weird.

"To answer you username, I'm a bit of a stuck up snob who happened to grow up on a council estate, so have no problem relating to people in the nice parts of Bath"

Ok, fair enough. Anyone else from Bath care to chip in? With actual experience and analytical view not just "I like Bath OK!"

What I'm thinking (No, not "YOUR ALL WRONG BECAUSE I SAID!)" is perhaps in my experiences in Bath are due to attracting certain types unwittingly. If I went driving around in a Ferrari and wore all Gucci clothes I would attract a certain type of people. Doesn't mean the majority of the people in that place are shallow, but I drew the majority of the ones who were based on the Ferrari and Gucci". My intial experiences in Bath have been largely formed on this attention I seemed to be getting inadvertently and it isnt really appreciated. The questions, the weirdness. I didnt come to Bath to be a celebrity. Other people seem to be granted quiet and left alone and I wasn't and I definitely resent this. Some of the attention however wasn't positive and was just downright hostile, very passive aggressive or SUPER awkward. It definitely wasnt the place where I can politely mind my own business.

Saladaysior, what do you know about my life? You know i dont like Bath and thats it. What do you know about moving? the logistics, the planning. This just up and move is a very silly attitude. You dont just do whatever you want whenever you want. The most effective plans dont work that way.

You protest too much
Just chill and enjoy living in one of the most stunning cities in the country

I live in Bath- love it! Never felt that way at all

I think you can find this anywhere and it depends on what else is going on in your life at the time, I’ve met some lovely friends here, not loads but enough, all are sociable friendly non snobby over 35s (and I’m 50 odd). I’m not judgemental but if you don’t like Bath where exactly do you like? I’ve lived all over, Canterbury, Oxford, Bristol, twickenham, St Albans - and Bath is the best to live in ‘for me’ . Maybe not for everyone, but for a great many it’s got a lot going for it. It’s all a matter though of if you have friendships, good work, good personal situation etc— if other shit is going on then ‘anywhere ‘ can be crap. On a lovely day here with views up to the hills and twinkling lights in houses and a red sunset- it’ pretty much as good as it gets in the UK - if you need to be somewhere with ‘life’ . What I will say as well is the experience on a nice day is totally different to if it’s pissing down and windy , so if you visit on a shit day— that kind of stays with you—

Tatasmalatarocks- sounds lovely, your description is making me really jealous!

Portsmouth has a creepy post apocalyptic feel to me

Also - I’m not sure what it’s called but near Cambridge there’s a massive swath of the countryside which is completely new build. The land is completely featureless and it’s just a maze of new build estates with new build schools and care homes, shops (loads of Co-Ops?) and just flat land stretching around with half built stuff on. Really hated it

Haworth, York and Ludlow bring me out in metaphorical hives give me a city any day.

Swavesy @Chillicheese123?

Ok and last one. High Wycombe - like being in Hot Fuzz / League of Gentlemen. Went to a scruffy looking suburban pub and Was approached to join an bible study group and also asked twice if I wanted to buy coke. It was a Tuesday.

@Kingcole I can’t remember the exact name, I’m looking through my emails now to find my air b n b booking. There was just a lot of the same, and hardly any people ? I just found it unsettling

God yes Brighton was a real shock when I visited a few months back - a sensationally odd place.

I'm surprised Milton Keynes hasn't featured. A new city but with a horrible feeling from the people there. Just weird.

Yay Kingcole, I've found someone else who hates Ludlow (although living where I do has managed the impossible and made me almost miss it)

Can’t find the air b n b email. It could literally have been anywhere, there was a big Tesco as well if I remember rightly 😂

My whole family come from Brighton yet it gives me the complete willies. I think this may be because I have seen lots of documentaries on the poverty and homelesness there which seems to be in stark contrast to the beauty and history of the city. Lived in Bath and the surrounding areas for many years and never bothered me. Cheddar Gorge was unpleasant but I think this was because I felt trapped by the rocks either side of the road. The one place I HATED was a village in the Cotswolds DH and I visited. We had booked 3 nights in this beautiful old hotel but left straight away after the first night. I felt like I couldn't breathe and was suffocating and everyone was watching us. I spent the night crying and awake. Proper creepy. Would not go back in a hurry. And love the IOW. It runs about 20 - 30 years behind the mainland so is quaint and old fashioned. Like a lady dressed up but with nowhere to go.

@Pugwash1 it wasn’t Broadway was it ? I stayed in the creepiest pub hotel there it was so scary

I also loathe Brighton. Dirty, seedy, scuzzy, high crime, loads of criminals there who've fled London. Crap pebbly beach. Awful.

Bath on the other hand is lovely. Bit small but beautiful and not weird at all. I lived there for two years and loved it so much, it felt like a dream.