To ask for your experiences with Bath/strange atmospheres

[AliceInBlunderland13]

Semi-regular poster but I’ve name changed for this as the details could be quite outing. Also not really an AIBU but posting for traffic and all that…
There have been two periods in my life when I have lived and/or worked in the city of Bath, Somerset and I’ve experienced problems with my mental health on both occasions. The first was right after I finished by undergraduate degree in London and I moved to Bath to do a Masters at the university. I started in the October and by Christmas I was experiencing terrible panic attacks and depression. I did manage to complete the course but as soon as I finished I ended the tenancy on my flat early and moved back home. I then worked in my home town for a few years, during which time I had no problems with my mental health. Then I decided to do a PhD and took a position again at the uni in Bath. This time I didn’t move there but instead moved to a nearby town and commuted in. Yet again within a couple of months of being there I began experiencing daily panic attacks, terrible anxiety and feelings of dissociation, and depression. I tried to stick it out (had counselling, on meds etc) but I still felt utterly miserable so I recently quit the course and found a new job in another town.
Even after having counselling, I’ve never truly got to the bottom of what triggers these episodes. Logically, it could be stress related as both a Masters and a PhD are obviously a lot of work but then I dealt with the stresses of my undergraduate course just fine, and the job I had between my Masters and PhD was high-stress and I loved it – in fact I used to think I worked best with a bit of pressure.
Then the other day, I was reading an old thread on here (bored while I wait to start my new job ) about places people found creepy. Several people mentioned that they didn’t like Bath or that it had an odd atmosphere – I think one poster described it as ‘melancholy’. Now normally I’m very rational and logical (except when the anxiety takes over ) and wouldn’t give it a second thought, but I couldn’t help wondering if anyone has any experience of feeling anxious/down in a particular place, or if anyone else has felt this ‘atmosphere’ in Bath? I know some will say it’s a load of pish but I guess I’m just interested in other people’s experiences really…

@Oliversmumsarmy is there a good website you would recommend to learn more about Astrocartography?

St Ives is my unhappy place. DP and I visited for a long weekend a few years ago and had the worst rows we've ever had. From the moment I got there it just felt 'wrong' and I couldn't settle or enjoy anything about it. I felt on edge and furious the whole time. As soon as we drove out of the town it was as if a huge weight had been lifted. Really, really odd.

We've talked quite a lot about it since and I always put it down to the fact that the holiday home we were staying in had a weird vibe, but actually the whole place did. So seeing that radon map is really intriguing!

LOVE st Ives itself but stayed at St Ives holiday village once and that did not have a nice feel.

Knittingaddict. Why cant you hold a discussion without taking offence? Very typical of the attitudes in Bath, so hostile to perceived difference.

www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2007/sep/16/architecture

Oh good! This thread Is back!

I oddly love Ilfracombe, nearly bought a flat there. But bottled out because it can be VERY bleak. But it’s beautiful in its own way. But I love seaside towns, even the depressing bits.

For those wondering about the mood or vibe read the above. Maybe it isnt the Radon but the high levels of CO2 being collectively exhaled through exasperation about what is and isnt allowed while they hear about everyone else in the 21st century.

“suffering in its own wintry self-regard”
Fucking brilliant!

Of course this must totally be an accurate description of every single resident of Bath. Of course it couldn’t possibly be a hyperbole- ridden piece of journalism...

Honestly, I’d live in Bath at the drop of a hat if Dh and I didn’t have work commitments elsewhere. And I’ve never heard any of my friends who live/ have lived there describe it as anything it isn’t. They’re quite happy telling it like it is- perhaps because it’s pretty damn nice there

Like I said all depends on your style preference. Great that your friends love it. But pitchforks come out if anyone says any differently. Like some tribe. Like grown men who arguing over football teams. Thats what I find weird. No criticism allowed. Not of the school situation, not of the architecture, not of anything. Not of the council. You must love it and not speak if you dont. Or else the cliquey sets will turn against you/ try to ridicule you/ slander you.

Its for image people. Like telling a M3 driver their car isnt as good as an Audi. Just for a joke. Just wait for the amount virtriol and defensiveness as though you have insulted them personally. As though they cant separate their image from the car. Or students who went to a particular university. Most are fine but theres a certain type that will take immense pride that were part of a certain institution as though thats who they are now. Still in student mode. Post codes are no different and Bath is a shallow image place. People get caught up in the prettiness but there is no substance of an actual city to be found. Just a remanent of the romans and georgians with some cake to eat after you've managed to drive out of the labyrinth that is the road system there.

The thing is I find it weird that you find it weird. In my experience people generally quite like where they live and get a bit defensive if it's criticised. I'm not only talking about affluent middle class people who can be said to have chosen where they live.

I think they are especially likely to be defensive if criticism of a place seems to be based on the people who live there. What with that being them, and everything.

Also - and I think we're misunderstanding you but I can't quite get to the root of it - this conversation feels like
A: I don't like bath because ....
B: I live there/have lived there and that's not my experience.
A: You're so defensive! This is my opinion and experience and it's valid!
B: I know, but as I said this is my experience. Presumably also valid.
A: Well that just makes my point. So defensive!

As I said I haven't lived there for many years and I wonder if it's changed a lot because I just do not recognise the attitude you're talking about.

@usernameusrnme the most defensive attitude by a country mile is coming from you! So it’s a bit much to say everyone who lives in Bath is ultra defensive and can’t contemplate anyone criticising any aspect about whatsoever.

Like @Freezerbird says, people do actually tend to like where they live. If they don’t, they’re likely to do everything within their power to move. And frankly anyone living in Bath is likely to have more opportunity to move than most, because housing is expensive there so it would be easy to move somewhere still commutable , but a lot cheaper.

It’s quite possible (in fact probable) that Bath residents actually enjoy living there without over analysing it half as much as you do

It's old-school seaside towns give me the willies. Places like Skegness, Weston, Westward Ho - they always seem so sad and run-down. Having said that, there are also some lovely seaside places, it's the decaying ones that I find depressing.

I’ve been to Bath many, many times without a problem. Some of the most mentally and emotionally difficult times of my life were doing my MSc and PhD though, at a diiferent university.

@blueangel1- Agree about Westward Ho!

Knittingaddict. Why cant you hold a discussion without taking offence? Very typical of the attitudes in Bath, so hostile to perceived difference.

If you want somewhere creepy go to Portland in Dorset. Very strange atmosphere.

I also find Portland creepy and I couldn't tell you why. I think Weymouth which you drive through to get there is really nice.

I do find it weird Freezer bird and I really do want to emphasise, this is not an attack on onyone, not on here, not personally in Bath but an dissection of a particular type of attitude which lends itself to an atmosphere which may contribute to the feeling of what the OP is talking about.

Take me, if you or anyone, wanted to criticise or critique something I had done or had said, that would be fine. Not one word of a lie, I would be very interested to hear what you or a person in question had to say. By listening to what have said I might learn something or you might learn something by my response. No-one will learn anything through closing discussion which is what I notice in Bath, that is without a doubt my biggest dislike of the place. It looks like this because the georgians rule ok! We all like rugby you should start joining in with rugby because rugby rules ok!
We do things like this and this is definitely the best because we know ok!
Its almost like a stringent tribe holding everyone hostage in terms of viewpoint, behaviour, mindsets and what is considered to be acceptable taste. Now obviously not. every. single. resident is like this obviously. But the collective majority who make the decisions and hold sway are.

Now I understand in a social setting, people having a drink doing whatever they do this may not be the case. But in other areas I have come across this far too frequently. This "we are so smart and we know!
Its just bizarre because when you engage them in conversation so often its revealed they dont really know that much. Or what they know is just normal stuff that they think only they know about when its quite standard info, its like people are trying to impress and I'm not entirely sure what inspires this.

But it isnt weird to be open to critique. I find people who are, generally people who just have no interest in improving anything. If people want to challenge what Im saying its not just ok, its genuinely welcome and interesting.

Why live there then? Serious question. If I felt that out of sync and negative towards pretty much everything - the people, architecture, schools - where I lived, I’d make getting out my first priority.

Like I said, it’s not difficult: practically anywhere else in the UK is cheaper to live. Anyone working in Bath can live in Bristol and commute in- many do, and my friends’ kids have schoolmates who come in daily from Bristol. Or from the many towns and villagers locally.

It’s weird to have such strong feelings of negativity towards the place you live yet refuse to move. Almost like you enjoy slagging it off.

"@usernameusrnme the most defensive attitude by a country mile is coming from you! So it’s a bit much to say everyone who lives in Bath is ultra defensive and can’t contemplate anyone criticising any aspect about whatsoever"

Can you read? If not I won't post. Critique is welcome! why are you struggling to understand this? If I designed a car or piece of tech for example and you thought you could improve upon it, I would welcome hearing your ideas and then agree or disagree. My experience is people in Bath are shocked to discover another viewpoint at all. These are the narrow minds I'm referring to.

The OP said she felt depressed in Bath. Some said it might have been Radon. Some others said its fake and surfacey, not real, Bristol is better etc These are real reasons listed and not just "Its rubbish and didnt like it"

I mentioned that its a predominantly middle class all white environment despite being claiming its multicultural (Which I re-interate is total nonsense) If the OP came from London, the small feel of Bath have gotten to her. Maybe it was the Radon, maybe the social aspect as I mentioned.

The people offended have responded but not in way that actually explains anything. Perhaps you could have said its beautiful but mono architectural as I did, which might have an effect. Maybe someone from a diverse environment like London might not enjoy the largely monocultural environment at the university despite it being a very good academic institution. Perhaps its the lack of modernity and Georgian damp. Who knows. But "My friend lives there and I like it" What can anyone learn or glean from that? Put forward an intelligent response as to why its unlikely that people would feel down about the points raised not just "I like so there"

Freezebird I think it was you that mentioned that you are from one of the poorer parts of Bath. What are your experiences of going to the more wealthier or just more middle class areas and dealing with other parents or socialising for example. Maybe you've had no problem but I am genuinely interested to learn of your experiences. I've found a lot of snobbery but what are your opinions? People shutting down my experiences but not sharing their own with a bit more depth other than "I like it" isnt really adding anything.

Saladaysior. Ok finally a response that asks an actual question.
I would like a Ferrari. Doesn't mean I'm going to buy one tomorrow. Even if I could I cant because of the lockdown. Some things are about time. Not money.

Freezebird I think it was you that mentioned that you are from one of the poorer parts of Bath

Not me - maybe knittingaddict?

I know I joined this thread late but why are people arguing over Bath? It's really not that deep 😭

Too funny that if you raise even a mild defence when you and the place you live in are roundly slagged off as weird and parochial then that is leapt on as proof that you are indeed middle class monocultural and generally hideous 😁

Lockdown has been 4 weeks. I think if I despised the people, the attitudes, the architecture, everything about the place I lived in, I wouldn’t be giving lockdown as the reason I’m still there.

It takes time... not really when Bath is a place many people would give their eye teeth to live. I’d have sold up, handed in my notice as a tenant or arranged a Council swop years ago if I despised the place I lived in like you do.

But then you protest too much, so perhaps the reason you haven’t is it’s actually pretty nice