To think a 14yo, 15yo and 18yo don't need to be "looked after" in the school holidays?

[scotlandthebravenotthebrexit]

Or need a lift to and from school every day in term time, when there is a regular bus that takes 30mins?
(No SEND).
This is what my DM does for my DNephews. Dsis is a single parent and they all live with my DM. DSis works full time long hours, so all "childcare" falls to my DM. But why do they need childcare?!
My DM ties herself up in knots to make sure she can keep up her responsibilities. I can't talk to her about it as she or DSis shut down the conversation. So all I can do is come on here and moan, sorry!

At 17 , back in 1995 before t’internet and mobiles, I got on a plane in August to fly to the mid west of America for a two year exchange.

Parents dropped me at airport and I phoned the. A day later when I arrrived. Other than that I was on my own.

So the idea of an 18 year old needing minding is frankly baffling.

The 18 yo sounds sad and lost and without direction.

I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for him to find himself somehow in the next few years. He most likely won't find a job. He has a car, bought and paid for and no enthusiasm about driving - I would be very worried about depression.

So they're left to their own devices even if it's a crucial time for exams and wellbeing? I don't think so. Of course they need cared for.

There's a happy medium between allowing them to go feral and waiting on them hand and foot.

Feral teens is a recipe for disaster. Believe me. I've seen it.

I find it odd that at that age they want lifts rather than taking the bus with their friends

That must have been an unusually civilised school bus SnowsinWater. DD hated going on the bus. It was way too full and had far too many badly behaved children on it. I wasn’t in the habit of taking DD to school, but when she left school she said the school bus was the one thing she missed the least.

Well I don't understand the transport to school thing it's good for teens to take responsibility for such things and it's obviously also better for the environment.

As for school holidays, I think it's nice for teens to have an adult around at least some days. I know my kids get fed up if I go to work too much because they want to spent time with me - which means the occasional favourite meal or trip to the cinema. Obviously they shouldn't need too much supervision.

There's a huge chasm between "must be constantly looked after" and "feral" though.

I also have a 14 and a 15 year old (though no 18 year old) and this week is half term here. I have 2 days off work, DH has 1 day off work, 1 day they both have plans with friends and the other day I will come home during my lunch break and neither will have managed to engage in any massively anti-social activity.

But if I had taken the whole week off, and say, a friend wanted to meet for lunch, I certainly wouldn't use the teens as an excuse not to!

Teenagers need to be card for almost as much as little ones. The way of caring changes a bit but perhaps it’s as much about your mothers needs as the children’s? Maybe she enjoys being ‘needed’. Maybe she loves time with her grandchildren. The car is a great place to talk on the way to and from places.

I suspect even children who are driven most places can work out public transport when necessary. Mine certainly could. We drove because there are no buses but they seem to have navigated transport systems the world over just fine.

Children don’t need hurling into self sufficiency to enter the adult world. It tends to happen regardless.

Plus, it’s none of your business.

The op is talking about 1 day here, probably not even a full day. Of course it's ridiculous at their ages. No wonder the 18 year old doesn't know what they are going to do when they leave school. Probably hasn't made a decision for himself ever

It's a strange dynamic. I can't believe your DSis is happy for your DM to be so tied to doing all this childcare. Does she not feel guilty? Does your DM have no hobbies, friends, holidays? Your DSis is going to be so beholden for all this free care as your DM ages. The expectations for 'payback' will be massive. Stay well out of it.

Utterly ridiculous.

I'm working from home today/tomorrow and taken Friday off but the first 2 days of the holidays DS12 managed to get himself up and make breakfast, let the dog out, tidy his room and walk to town to meet his mates.

Why on earth does a 14, 15 and 18 year old need "babysat" and ferried around??!!

Mind you, my friend has taken the whole week off work so that she can ferry her DS12 around at his whim and spends most of her day sat at home or in a coffee shop waiting for his text or call.......

"Why has the 18 yo decided not to go to university"
Wow. What a question. Not all 28 year olds want to go to uni and be saddled with 50 grand worth of debt. Out of my childs year, only a handful are going to uni. It's not unusual not to go to uni.

Sounds weird to me but I left home at 17 and was self sufficient.

"I find it odd that at that age they want lifts rather than taking the bus with their friends"
My child hates getting the bus to school. It's always late and after school when they just want to get home, they have to wait half an hour for it to turn up.