He's given me non-silent silent treatment for a week. What is it called??

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DH makes me a cuppa every morning when I come downstairs. We had an argument last Monday. He's continued to make the cuppa but communication from him is very low. He's barely talking but he isn't ignoring me. I need to have it out with him because his sulking is toxic but what on earth do I describe his behaviour as? He will say he hasn't given me the silent treatment or ignored me which is true, but he's barely talking.

“ The argument was about him wanting more sex”

That sounds more worrying than the sulking, sorry.

Twatism.
Cured by divorce ime..

Being a bellend.

You need to address it at source. Forget his twatting passive aggressive treatment....revisit the original argument..

Although I am a bit of a cow. I’d ignore him completely in favour of some hew project that’s all about me ( weight watchers, the gym, yoga etc). Minimise his nonsense.

Maybe it’s the best he can do right now. Meaning, he’s hurt and upset but recognizes that he’s not going to get what he wants (and maybe even needs.) So he’s sad but just trying to be decent and not mean.

So let him grieve it for a while. Having a spouse with mismatched interest in sex is a very understandable reason to feel down.

Emotional abuse.
Controlling behaviour.
Classic narcissism.
Total twat.

Take your pick.

Interesting that you say you need to have it out with him because the sulking is toxic but you can't because he will just deny it.

Sounds like he has found the perfect way to punish you.

You seem to think that finding the right words will solve it.

Mind you, maybe he genuinely is sad that he hasn't got the sex life he wished he had, and is sad he can't make you want him in that way, so he's coming to terms with it. He doesn't have to get over something that big immediately.

Yes could it be it's not really resolved for him or he said he didn't feel you were having enough sex you said well you don't really want to have more sex and the argument ended. He still feels the same way he did before the argument but he would seem like a dick to keep pushing it ?

I might be way off and that's the issue we all were not there and don't know what happened/ is happing. I think you two do still need to talk.

It's called exactly what you already described it as - sulking. And it's extremely petty that he is creating an atmosphere but not going full silent treatment - it sounds like because he didn't want you to be right about that.

So instead he's gone for obvious sulking. He's a petty petty man - how the fuck does he think you would want more sex with someone who behaves like a particularly emotionally unaware teenager?

This book is very helpful. I'd read it first yourself and when things are on a more co-operative footing between you ask him to have a look.

www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/books/windy-dryden/incredible-sulk/GOR001500003?keyword=&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7aPyBRChARIsAJfWCgLN-1RfLnUPvGO6krjCvp9AyXOsbWJup0LnmgtiWx6FSSz70edyIhYaAnF3EALw_wcB

In the meantime tell him that every extra hour of sulking is another hour with no sex

Play candy crush loudly and ignore him right back

My ex used to do this. It was a way for him to communicate that he was pissed off but without saying it. If I brought it up before he was ready to talk he'd stonewall me and deny deny deny.

I thought name change’s post was perfect too, but now you say it was about him wanting more sex I’d be inclined to take a slightly firmer tone. He is withholding affection as a bargaining chip to try and coerce you into something you clearly already expressed you don’t want to do. Not ok, don’t stand for it.

Didn’t see it was about more sex. What’s stopping you having more sex? You need to tell him why it’s not happening.
I find it’s the weird expectation that creeps me out - quite happy to have sex more if I know there’s no agenda going on in his head.

Oh and he didn't like to instigate sex but got pissed off with me because I should have known that and I should have instigated it all the time so that he could have sex without having to ask/suggest/flirt/touch me.

So let him grieve it for a while. Having a spouse with mismatched interest in sex is a very understandable reason to feel down.

But it’s absolutely not understandable for him to stop speaking and punish her for a week over it. Either he communicates like a grown up or he decided he can’t live with it and gets out of the relationship. Currently he’s just being a twat.

Sounds like a sulk...

Standard response to a sulk is to ignore it.

Put the radio on and sing along.

Well that's attractive isn't it? Sulking or barely communicating that really wants to make you feel like it! A mature adult able to discuss the issue rather than stamping their feet because they haven't got their own way doesn't really cut it. I'd say something along those lines and if he's still in denial about his behaviour then I'd say 'fine as you were then'.

A friend of mine got sick of her husbands sulking and dropped a stack of plates on the floor. He never did it again. Wouldn't recommend it though just saying.....!

Twatty behaviour.
That attitudes enough to make you drier than Ghandi's flip flops.

Is he depressed?

@Cherrysoup

If he’s doing it to punish her then I agree.

If he’s just down about not getting as much sex as he wants and his perceived lack of ability to change that, he has a right to feel that way.

Well. I think it depends a bit of how the argument went.

Was it him ranting and raving about not getting enough action and you not doing your duty?

Or was it altogether more concerned and trying to just discuss a mismatch?

Because if it’s the first it’s a massive sulk, but if it’s the second then potentially he’s processing a genuine mismatch that he’s wondering if he can cope with.

I tend to think YANBU but without a bit more detail I’m undecided.

Immature 🤷🏼‍♀️