Children alone overnight

[Darbs76]

Hi, just wondering what age is reasonable for an older child to stay home alone overnight? DS is 16 in August, sitting GCSE. DD is 12. Both very mature, never argue, and have a key to come home from school, can feed the dog etc etc. They can stay alone until early evening if need be but usually I’m home by 5.30.

For the next 3yrs their father is living overseas (we are separated but good friends) apart from annual leave. I don’t have any family nearby, or friends I’d consider asking to stay with them. I’m wondering if it’s reasonable to leave DS alone for an odd night once he’s 16? We have a burglar alarm which he knows how to operate. I’m wondering as he might not want to come with me to visit relatives. DD will come with me. I had a baby of my own at 16 so thinking 16 is old enough but not sure what others would think of that?!

I left my 15 year old for the first time this weekend whilst working a night shift. He was happy with the arrangement, and was just fine.

As long as the kid was happy with it and mature enough not to destroy the house then 15 or so is fine

16 is totally fine to be left alone.

Does he know what to do in emergencies? If the child was ill, need to get to OH GP, if there was a power cut or the fuse was blown or what to do if he smelt gas?

I would think a mature 16 year old would be fine. Would there be adults nearby he could call on in an emergency?

Sounds fine at16

At 15 my Dad left me to go to South Africa for 3 weeks, I took myself to school as per normal and was fine.
My mum used to leave me babysitting my siblings over night from 14.
I moved out at 18.
Your 16 yo will be fine.

It depends on the 16 year old. If you think they are mature enough for it, go for it.

At 16 I would have been very capable. I moved out at 18/19. I’ve always been sensible for my age.

I have a 16 year old sister now and I would say absolutely not in her case. She has no common sense at all - sorry sis.

How far away will you be?

Yes my friend lives around the corner so could be there in 5 mins in an emergency. He’s very mature and assume would know what to do in an emergency but I’d talk him through it before leaving him. He always locks up / puts the alarm on as I’m go upstairs before him so he’s used to that. I don’t think he would mind being alone. Will make it a lot easier if 16 is ok to leave him home alone.

Thanks all

@ADJ1151 - I’d be 250 miles away, should have added that. That might change people’s opinion. Staying at my mums house, or away with work (If DD can stay somewhere) so at least a few hours away. He might want to come anyway but if not just wondering if ok. I have a friend around the corner in an emergency

I moved out the day after my 16th birthday. I don’t think it’s a problem. Maybe leave an emergency contact number if you are concerned. Or let a neighbour know if you are close and they can keep an eye/ear out.
The thing that would concern me most is if he decided to have a party and posted on social media. But as you say he is sensible so unlikely to do this.

I wouldn’t but that’s purely because my mum used to leave me all the time from age 15 and one time I had a party that was only supposed to be a few people but actually ended up being over 100 and I was out of my depth and feeling pretty stupid at my choice!

The house was completely trashed and I got kicked out of home.

My mum left me with younger 2 DB to work night shifts twice a week the week after I turned 16.

I was independently living alone at 16. It depends on their level of maturity. 16 year olds should know skills for independence and be autonomous enough to manage an overnight. Leaving a 12 year old in their care needs more consideration.

All fine so long as he doesn't have a party...

@Sunshineandalltherainbows - oh gosh what a nightmare. I don’t think he would have a party, he doesn’t even go out socially. But I know how things can get out of hand, so I’d have that chat with him beforehand. I have a dog camera which doubles as teen spy camera so I’d send my friend over if that happened.

@BustedDreams - he can cook and manage alone. I think maybe another couple of years before I’d leave my DD with him alone. I will for an evening as I have done and they are ok until 10/11pm now and then but not overnight.

At 16 you can get married and some 16 year olds have been known to have babies so i think your Son will be fine

I was living alone at 16, I never get these threads, you know your own child and most NT 16 year olds would be fine

PumpkinP - whats not to get? I’m just wondering what the general consensus is around what age is acceptable. Yes I clearly know my own child, there’s no rule book on what’s acceptable, hence I’m asking the question. There’s no need to reply to be rude.

My mum and dad went on holiday when I was 16 and I stayed at home alone for a week with just my mums friend ‘checking in on me’ every now and then! However my older sister had a baby at 16 too so perhaps that was my mums train of thought too that if she was mature enough to cope with a baby I could live for a week and not burn the house down by her buying me a weeks worth of ping dinners :) Xx

Of course you can leave a 16 year old alone overnight. My parents left me for 2 weeks to go on holiday abroad when I was 16.

I left home at 16, so yeah, it's fine OP 🤷‍♀️

I also lived overseas for many years with my job...single mum, two children. I had an unforeseen emergency medical situation when my two were 14 and 16...no choice but to leave them on their own, as I was rushed into hospital unconscious! They were fine (it wasn't ideal of course and I'd rather not have left them, but it was ok 👌🏻

Thanks all. Good to hear it will be ok. I know he will be fine but don’t want people thinking badly of me leaving a kid alone. I had a child myself at 16 but I didn’t live alone. He a mature boy so will be fine