Neighbour and door knocking/deliveries

[Frainbreeze]

Moved into block of flats last year, have been getting along well until last couple of weeks.

Both DP and I have severe disabilities and we organise to have lots of things delivered for quality of life, from supermarket orders to Amazon and the like.

Due to our disabilities (I am also bed bound) it can take upwards of five mins (to about 10) to get to the door. Neighbour is aware we have disabilities.

There was a huge kick off from the neighbour this week as she's pissed off with our door being knocked and the time it takes us to get to the door, intimating we should literally be within 30 secs of the door.

I'm not sure what we can do here, upon explaining we are disabled again the response was "I don't care".

Who's BU here? Any tips/ideas appreciated.

(Have NC for this).

Are your delivery drivers actually waiting 10mins for you to open the door? I can't believe they don't just scarper and leave the dreaded calling card. I've never met one that actually pays attention to the special delivery notes either.

4 times a week?! I was imagining 4 times a day!! She is being very unreasonable indeed!! Could you ask the delivery folk to ring you when 10 minutes away, I know not always possible or practical but would save them waiting too?
Your neighbour sounds horrible and unsympathetic hope they move and someone nicer moves in.

You could add an extra bit to your note
" I am always in. Please don't knock more than once because it pisses off Doreen at Number 6"

Could you try putting in delivery instructions 'please phone 10 min before arrival so we can have the door open for you so you won't have to wait for us to get to the flat door', and then just leave your door ajar?

Leave the door ajar most of the time if you're in, even?

Though if it's only around 4 deliveries a week, your neighbour can just suck it up.

Overreaction but I can see how it can be annoying. I think a note...but I bet the drivers get pissed off as they get paid by parcel and it holds them up so suprised they wait that long!

DH is a postman with RM and he won’t use Ring doorbells. There have been many issues where people have answered and insisted that the postman just puts the ‘sign for’ mail through the door, then they have complained to the office that they never received it.

If someone isn’t home and can’t sign for something, they get a card through the door and the item goes back to the office.

4 deliveries a week? That's hardly constant is it?
Your neighbour is being a disagreeable prick.

amused isn't that more likely to happen without a Ring doorbell?

If you want to solve the problem then a decent doorbell with a sign on the door saying 'ring, don't knock' should do it. And remove the knocker if there is one.

@gamerwidow my post said "disproportionate". As you say, "small adjustments" should absolutely be implemented and there are lots of good ideas here.

I also agree companies put profits before these adjustments which is shit, but we will only change this by boycotting. (Easier said that done, I have tried to boycott Amazon myself but selfishly found it too difficult Ironically as a disabled person, they are the most convenient company I use I'm basically a turkey voting for Christmas)

@AutumnRose1

I’m sure it does happen without the doorbell but the postman is less likely to put it through the door if there isn’t someone on the doorbell telling them to do it 🤷🏻‍♀️

amused oh I see

I meant, I thought customers were less likely to lie if stuff was on camera.

in general, I'm guessing some delivery drivers don't deliver if there's a Ring doorbell because they want more privacy? Or is that a mad guess?

Invest in the door bell Ring so you can speak direct.
Your neighbour sounds horrible

Spend money to keep a nasty neighbour happy? Not bloody likely!

What if you had a Ring doorbell/intercom and a device to open the door remotely? That way the delivery guys can come right in to you. The security aspects are not that different to when you open the door yourself. I am sorry your neighbour is so horrible and unsympathetic.

To those who asked why some couriers don’t use a ring bell.

My husband says that you ring the ring bell, person answers and they are out. They ask you to leave parcel in garden. Parcel needs signed for. Battle begins as driver can’t leave parcel without a signature. This takes up valuable time from drivers day so next person who doesn’t get their parcel on time complains. Driver often gets verbally abused for not leaving parcel.

Also leave parcel behind the bin, driver does and oh parcel not there when person arrives home or so they say.

Someone overhears ring conversation and steals parcel.

That’s what he says.

@edgewater

That's what I was saying upthread - DH says those doorbells are more hassle than they're worth.

As others have said, ignore her. It sucks that she can hear the knocking, but that's the way shared buildings are. It's none of her business how long you take to answer the door as it seems the delivery folk aren't knocking constantly.

I recently had a word with postie and neighbour because postie was always getting me to take neighbour's parcels even though she'd marked them with alternative instructions (leave in porch etc). I work from home and was getting my concentration broken daily. I live in a busy street, I'd be being completely unreasonable if my complaint was "I can hear the postman ringing my neighbours' doorbells".

I'm getting increasingly frustrated with delivery drivers. I understand they aren't paid much, but it's job they have chosen. They stop everywhere, they block driveways and roads, they often park blocking the pavements and get arsey when asked to move, they leave their engine running all the time, they don't always leave parcels in the indicated spots, and now they are unhappy with people's choice of doorbells and security arrangement.

It was supposed to make shopping easier and ease off traffic, but it only makes things worse.

It’s not so much low pay as the fact they are paid per parcel @ChardonnaysDistantCousin - IME it makes many of them frantic verging on manic, because they have to work at an almost impossible rate to make a living wage.

The knock on is that we all have to put up with the hysterical door knocking, cavalier parking and so on. I have a lot of sympathy with OP as I have been on crutches for an extended period and so have relied on amazon etc more than usual. Some of them sound like a police raid getting started.

I'm getting increasingly frustrated with delivery drivers. I understand they aren't paid much, but it's job they have chosen.

Blimey, tho. Perhaps they should sit on their backsides all day and rake in all those lovely benefits?

OP - i was thinking that you were going to say you get 4 deliveries a day not a week. Can understand the neighbours frustration but... meh. You are entitled to live an independent life too.

I wouldn't always hear a knock on the door but would hear the doorbell. The point of a doorbell is to be used and heard, surely? Maybe refusal to use doorbells is why they knock so hard it sounds like the door will fall off, or leave a 'sorry you were out' card when I was actually in

Blimey, tho. Perhaps they should sit on their backsides all day and rake in all those lovely benefits?

Are those the only options though? Be an arse or not work at all?

well obvs a bit of hyperbole there - sometimes they're the only jobs on offer? sometimes thery're the only jobs people can get? there are lots of reasons people take those jobs and in general I'm glad they do because i order stuff online too. and in fact chances are they are getting some kind of benefit (UC i guess if they have changed from tax credits)

it's not the individual drivers who are supposed to make shopping easier - it's the delivery companies. And if we as consumers didn't insist on instant and practically free delivery those companies wouldn't be in a race-to-the-bottom in T&Cs for their drivers.

I wouldn’t give it any more thought and I wouldn’t change anything.