Neighbour and door knocking/deliveries

[Frainbreeze]

Moved into block of flats last year, have been getting along well until last couple of weeks.

Both DP and I have severe disabilities and we organise to have lots of things delivered for quality of life, from supermarket orders to Amazon and the like.

Due to our disabilities (I am also bed bound) it can take upwards of five mins (to about 10) to get to the door. Neighbour is aware we have disabilities.

There was a huge kick off from the neighbour this week as she's pissed off with our door being knocked and the time it takes us to get to the door, intimating we should literally be within 30 secs of the door.

I'm not sure what we can do here, upon explaining we are disabled again the response was "I don't care".

Who's BU here? Any tips/ideas appreciated.

(Have NC for this).

I'm not sure most delivery people would be prepared to wait 5-10 minutes. They're on a tight timetable.

You could present your neighbour with the problem and ask what she thinks the best solution is? She might suggest she receives the deliveries and if not she's had a chance to think through the problem.

@Frainbreeze

You really do need to find an alternative place for your packages to be delivered.

The delivery men/women can't be too chuffed about it either. Waiting 10 minutes for someone to come to the door.

I just can't imagine what disability would make someone take 10 minutes to get to their front door.

How often are you getting these deliveries? Must be quite often if the neighbour is getting irked by the delivery person knocking and banging on the door.

I just can't imagine what disability would make someone take 10 minutes to get to their front door. confused
Then you have an exceptionally poor imagination.

-Blindness

• Arthritis
• MS
• COPD

Just off the top of my head I'm sure there are many more disabilities which restrict movement.

How many deliveries per day do you get? For it to be annoying it can’t be just one every few days. Amazon allow you to “group” stuff so it all comes at once vs Multiple knocks over different days. Surely you could line up stuff so it all comes on say Wednesday afternoon, making it more convenient for you too if you could pick slots and have it all arrive within a certain time.

And even then surely the storage box could sit outside on a Wednesday afternoon for 3 hours and come back in at night? I know we weren’t allowed to permanently leave stuff but no one ever moaned about old furniture for collections or prams visiting higher flats for a few hours.

"And even then surely the storage box could sit outside on a Wednesday afternoon for 3 hours and come back in at night?"

OP might not have room and might not be able to move a large delivery box in and out.

While I would try to grit my teeth if I was your neighbour I’d be pretty pissed off with frequent repeated banging on your door for ‘lots’ of deliveries. In many blocks of flats the soundproofing is very poor and it probably sounds as though it’s her door being knocked on. Not all parcels need to be signed for so if you had an intercom type doorbell you could speak to the driver and ask them to just leave the parcel outside your front door for you to collect at your leisure.

YANBU but I do think you need to look for a solution to this because I can appreciate this would be frustrating for both the delivery drivers and the neighbours. Is there possibly a friendly neighbour who might be able to assist with this?

Delivery drivers are on a tight schedule and I don't think many would wait 10 minutes.

I think your neighbour is being a bit ridiculous but maybe you need another solution. Also, it sounds like you get a lot of deliveries throughout the week?. Can you try to group them together?

I use Amazon and Asda a lot but I don't have deliveries all throughout the week. Maximum, 2 days.

Also, do you have any family or friends local that you could send the deliveries to? And then they just bring them over to you? Items don't have to be delivered to your home address.

You are being unreasonable expecting "lots of"'delivery drivers to wait up to 10 minutes for the door to be answered. Couriers for lots of companies just don't have the time for this and have a set number of deliveries they have to get through. You're making them deliver other items late or pushing them to the next day, risk their jobs or possibly drop below minimum wage (and I know that's the companies fault but that's how it is, if you don't agree you need to boycott Amazon and the like).

I am also disabled and it can take me a few mins to get the door, if I'm upstairs I know I won't make it in time, so I understand! I have a notice on the door asking to please allow some extra time, but I would never expect someone to wait outside my door for 5-10mins. (My DH also had a courier job so I know how stressful it is)

I know a lot of our regular delivery people and the Hermes (for example) guy knows I'm always usually in and will leave it outside with a note, as do a lot of them. If I'm not in and I know something is due, you can reschedule it yourself online. The postie will wait for me as he likes to chat but this only works if you "know" the couriers, I realise.

Some ideas though. If you know you're going to get to the door within 5 mins, could you not leave a note asking them to leave outside if it doesn't require a signature? The PP's idea of a Ring doorbell is a good idea as one of you can watch to make sure no one nicks it within 5 mins, or a CCTV camera (or a note saying you have a CCTV camera might work!) Grocery shopping is only once or twice a week, and if you have a set time could you not be near the door, your DH if you know you can't? With Amazon deliveries you also normally get a time window now, or you can set one yourself checking out? You could try and use companies that allow you to do this or use better couriers that allow you to control times (like DPD, or Hermes but they treat their drivers worse than DPD) and arrange them for a certain time scale each week, or mornings for example if this is a better time mobility wise. If one of you can leave the house, you could use an Amazon locker for smaller none urgent deliveries and pick up at your convenience.

I know it's tough, but you can't expect people to risk their livelihoods or cause a disproportionate amount of inconvenience, without trying to mitigate it at least. I do a lot of online shopping and am in the same situation but you have to be proactive to maximise your chance of successful deliveries!

Your neighbour can fuck off, though

I see how it can be difficult for you, but I can see why it’s irritating to your neighbour, especially if you have multiple deliveries.

And I’m another poster who wants to know why a ring bell is problematic for deliveries.

I just can't imagine what disability would make someone take 10 minutes to get to their front door.

Lucky old you.

Also if you rent, you are entitled to "reasonable adjustments" from your landlord. Blocking communal hallways with a storage box isn't reasonable, but a larger postbox would be, for example.

I just can't imagine what disability would make someone take 10 minutes to get to their front door.

Blindness
Myasthenia Gravis
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis
Rheumatoid Arthritis

And others.

As I said earlier we cannot have a storage box, neighbour won't accept any parcels this was made clear when we moved in due to "being burned before".

Generally we get about four deliveries a week.

your neighbour is complaining that someone knocks on your door 4 times a week?

I wouldn't give it any more thought OP, just ignore her.

Are the couriers just ringing the bell or doing that aggressive thinking on the door thing that some of them do?

If it really is just ringing, could you get a quieter bell?

Or schedule deliveries for later in the day so they can’t use the T button on the main door and have to speak to you through the entrance intercom first? (Giving then some warning that you will be slow and you a bit more time to make your way to the door.)

Thumping on the door. Not thinking

What a horrid neighbour. I'm sure she would complain if she had chavs having loud parties all night, would she? Or just likes to pick on disabled people?

I know it's tough, but you can't expect people to risk their livelihoods or cause a disproportionate amount of inconvenience, without trying to mitigate it at least.

It's the way the world is right now, but there is something wrong with the world when making small adjustments to allow disabled people to live independently is seen as an inconvenience. Not a pop at poster who made the comment, they're not wrong, more a despairing thought on the profits not people culture we have now.

unusual problem. I get that your neighbour won't accept deliveries - I usually suggest people get deliveries sent to work or lockers if they aren't at home but clearly not practical for you.

but couriers won't wait 30 seconds let alone 10 minutes! Is it possible to ask around for someone who will take your deliveries and bring them to you by appointment?

I meant people with disabilities not disabled people. Brain slower than fingers today.

With Amazon you can leave instructions on your delivery saying ok to leave outside door.
But in all honesty if you are only having 4 deliveries a week I think your neighbour is being unreasonable or was having a bad day.
I couldn't be arsed with a ring doorbell but it would seem ideal in your situation.

I do find it interesting though that op posted about her neighbour and people have jumped in telling her how unreasonable she is for arranging deliveries when it takes 5/10 mins to get to the door. Presumably the Note on the door works and the delivery people do wait cos they are decent people ( it would take them longer to find a neighbour). My dbil is blind and physically disabled and it would take him that long to get to the door. People are kind and wait for him. He doesn't need to feel guilty about it. For him it gives him independence and autonomy.