To think that this is inappropriate to say in front of me ?

[Username109876]

Met yesterday with 2 friends who are engaged to be married, a close female friend and her fiancé.
I asked them if they had done anything nice for Valentine's day and they replied that it had just been a night in, then the guy said "She didn't even put out." in the middle of a restaurant.
Just felt embarrassed for my friend, it's not something that needed to be said out loud nor any of my business really.

Ugh. He sounds like a charmer!

I hope your friend ditches the DF

Depends if she laughed or not. It might be their type of humour. I know dh and I made the Same joke and we both know it's a joke and our friends know it's our humour.
However, if she didn't laugh, or looked embarrassed, then yes it was rude. It's a fine line

Ah, would have made me laugh. I'm sure I have said similar about dp in the past. Depends on your humour I guess.

Yep, entirely depends on their humour/ relationship. Did she look uncomfortable?

'Put out?'

Were you drinking malt shakes and eating pizza pie?

What a treat he sounds!

Some people have that humour. I can’t say I do but it wouldn’t have bothered me that much.

Are they close friends? I could definitely make a joke like this with DH and I's best friends (a married couple) and we would all laugh. We've all got young kids so it would probably be followed with a rueful comment about how romantic it is to have a 2 year old in your bed too.

You were there and know what the reaction was but it sounds like a perfectly harmless joke made by people every day, I've even heard friends make it about their wedding night

Depends on your types of friends. I know folk who would fall about with massive giggles at that, and couples who would think it was hilarious. DH would be mortified, though.

I'm sure it was a sarcastic comment to make!

Was she embarrassed? Among my friends that would be perfectly normal joking, but sounds like you don't think so (so I'd expect them to try to avoid making you uncomfortable in future)?

It was just a humourous comment. They probably think of you as a friend and imagine they don't need to watch every word they say.

Explain to them that you were so shocked by a reference to sex that you posted his comments on an internet forum. They won't make that mistake again.

Definitely normal joking around for DH and I. We'd both be equally likely to make such a comment.

However if she seemed uncomfortable or embarrassed then obviously that's not good.

I mean this kindly and not at all in a nasty way but I don't know anyone who wouldn't have laughed at that. Just a little snort, it's not hilarious but it would've raised a titter among all my friends. It's exactly the sort of thing people I know would say. It might not even be true! It just depends on their relationship and sense of humour. Why were you so embarrassed?

I must be old / ignorant but I actually don’t understand what “put out” means. It’s not a term which I have heard before.

Vile.

Surely it depends on how he said it.

Totally depends on their shared sense of humour and your friends reaction.
Dh and I are intensely private about our sex life and we would both be shocked/hurt if either of us said that. But friends of ours who are more open would 100% say something like that and it wouldn't be a big deal at all and they would both be laughing about it.

He sounds like such a twat.

Me neither @ mushypeas.

I would've laughed as it's my dh's sense of humour. Depends how she felt about it.

Was your friend embarrassed?, if not, YABU, it was a joke, you may not have found it funny but its possibly their humor. Don't be embarrassed on her behalf.

Put out means have sex.

It all comes down to how your friend felt about it.