To feel like calling out all the bloody hypocrites!

[BabyofMine]

I’m presuming because of the sad news about Caroline Flack, all over Facebook and Instagram etc I am seeing posts with the words “in a world where you can be anything, be kind” or words to that effect.

It’s really upsetting me though because two of the people I’ve seen writing this with additional holier than thou comments have been absolutely vile to me in the past, I’m talking bullying in the workplace type situations.

I really want to comment, oh kind like you were to me when you did x, y and z? Of course I won’t but the hypocrisy infuriates me!!

(And yes I do realise I should delete them from my social media and I’m not sure why I don’t tbh)

Bit defensive there Worra. By 'you all' I meant the many HUNDREDS of people who were happy to slag off Caroline in the thread a few weeks ago. I read and reported.
Hang your heads in shame.

Oh, give over! It's sad for anyone to kill themselves but spare us the sanctimonious virtue-signaling. She relied on the press to further and sustain her career. They then reported about her violent assault and she faced court action. This was discussed on MN too. While it is tragic, we do not know the full reasons behind her apparent suicide. I personally do not buy into the narrative that she was hounded to her death. She lost her job quite deservedly and for whatever reason may not have coped with the downturn of her career and loss of popularity or perhaps she had unknown issues. We just don't know but I refuse to canonise her.

The thing is, this is Mumsnet - home of the name changer.

So you'll no doubt have plenty of people virtue signalling right now who probably slagged her and many other celebrities off in the past, under a different anonymous name.

Someone is once told me when I was 20 weeks pregnant that I’m stupid for having another baby. A very much loved and wanted baby I might add.
That comment has never left me.
One of my friends lost her baby at 21 weeks and I just think it was a very sick in the head thing to say and there is no justification for it at all.

The person who said that to me has posted this evening:
“If you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all. Hashtag be kind”

She’s an absolute hypocrite and I wish I could tell her just how hurt I was and still am by her words.
Surely she must see the irony of her posting that after what she said to me.

I feel very sad about Caroline Flack.

She was someone I didn't 'know' very well. Encountered her when she presented 'X-factor' with Olly Murrs and was not keen, same when she won 'Strictly' though I saw how well she danced so didn't grudge her the trophy. There was just something about her (?fake), that I didn't take to.

There is always more to a person than meets the eye and their reputation.

What pain was Caroline Flack trying to mask?

A terrible tragedy.

She was about to be charged with battering her boyfriend bloody with a lamp while he was asleep because she thought he was cheating on her.

Thing is we’re all capable of a spectrum of behaviours. I try to be mindful of wider circumstances and go by ‘if you’ve nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all’but don’t always get it right and sometimes something happens which my personal moral code doesn’t allow exceptions for. I communicate with people so my views are aired.

Sometimes I’m an arsehole and sometimes other people are the arsehole (in my opinion) but when things do get to me that’s on me to deal with, whether that means I disregard opinions as meaningless to me or consider whether I’m in the wrong.

My point being I dislike the rhetoric that other people are somehow responsible for someone else’s actions. Nobody is responsible for Caroline Flacks suicide but herself. I’m coming from the position of having an ex emotionally manipulate me with threats and attempts of self harm and suicide. Those actions were all his to take and were never my responsibility no matter his conditions or blackmail.

I’m very sad for Caroline that she reached a point she felt there was no other option. It’s tragic, but it’s tragic because it’s not true and if she was healthier mentally and spiritually she might have seen that.

OhLook she was charged last December.

Ah right, I only heard of her yesterday and did a quick Google. I must have read something old.

I agree. I had a mental break down a few years ago none bar one of my friends really reached out or was there for me even when I spoke to them. There all posting “if you need someone to talk to, then talk to me. Mental health bla bla bla”, like really?! Bloody hypocrites at their finest.

A group of 'friends' who ostrasised me after I was diagnosed with PND are all posting memes and be kind messages.

My brother has called them out on it so I'm sat with a cup of tea enjoying the fall out whilst being able to take the high road. Said brother does not give a single fuck what people think of him so will not back down..

Here on another MN thread people are saying an elderly man who's constantly checking his boiler is probably annoying and it's ok for his son in law to describe him as fucking mental. And they should plan for putting him in a home.
I hope their children are as empathetic when the time comes.

@LouHotel I bet that’s sweet!

Have seen little of this but did notice the #Be Kind. Scofield?

Dreadful, phoney feeding frenzy, I imagine. Ugh

In my experience the people who have to show off on FB about how caring and compassionate they are, are often the last people you could rely on in a crisis.

The most selfish person I know, the least maternal person I ever met posts how to be a good mummy meme every day. I think it gives them something to hide behind.

Yanbu. It irritates me when people share this kind of stuff when in real life they couldn’t give a shit about people they know going through things.

Indeed.

Apparently being kind doesn't start with "don't seriously assault your partner"

Unless you are a woman.

It's all totally and utterly fake and for their own agenda.

Some of my old school friends I used to be close to posted that exact thing on FB (I'm not on it, someone was scrolling through it all and showed me). One is a complete show off, "Look at my car, holidays, house, I am SO rich, so happy, life is sooo good every single post" and at times a downright bully. She has had me in tears more than once. I've been suicidal on and off for about 2 years, and I've reached out to her & other old friends and they don't want to know. They brush me off. They don't want to help. IF I went down that route it'd be all over their social media with hearts and kisses and speeches. It's sickening.

Agree OP. I’ve been having a tough time recently. All but a couple of my friends have basically disappeared. They are the same ones who are posting the ‘my door is always open’, ‘be kind’, ‘reach out to someone who is struggling’ shit. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.

I've known people like this. Delete them and move on, forget it.

Oh yes! I see what were once school bullies, posting about how their experiences of tragedy has effected their MH, oblivious to the fact they made many people’s lives a misery.

I also know a few of those sort of people who say that spousal abuse is awful, but support and side with those who have beaten their spouse.
One of the idiots even married the abuser despite the victim being one of her oldest friends.
Hypocrisy everywhere!

Well said @LuluJakey1

Good post @Lulujakey1.

I have a friend who always posts ‘inspirational’ quotes etc on his social media. Always asks people to reach out. He’s always there etc. Well after the latest post I thought actually I’m going to be brave and ask him for advice. I sent private messages with a long story of something quite dramatic that I’m going through. He responded ‘that’s sad’. And that’s it. Nothing else. Ha. Got to laugh really. Thanks for that.

Yes to calling out the hypocrisy! So much of it about. Try talking to some people and they will turn it back on themselves every single time. They just like sharing memes.