22 year old son never seems to have a relationship

[Needsawakeupcall]

My son still lives with me at 22 years old, mainly due to cost. He has a fairly good job, quite a few friends. He goes out regularly, goes away with mates & gym; but he never seems to have a girlfriend (or boyfriend). Family & friends ask me regularly "does he have a girlfriend yet" He seems happy enough. I try to talk it over with him to make sure he's happy about the situation & not lonely, I wonder if it's a confidence thing or doesn't feel comfortable as he still lives with me (he can be quite shy) but he just shuts me down. Should I be worried he'll be left on the shelf, most boys his age have usually had some sort of relationship. I worry the older he gets the harder it will be for him to meet someone, or he'll never have the confidence to date.

He’s a baby still. He doesn’t need to be filling his head with permanency to appease your view of normalcy.
Most of the young people I know are nowhere near ‘settling down’ at 22. Most are just out of university finding jobs, settling into new lives, having to make the transition to the grown up world. That’s hard enough nowadays without setting expectations around relationships too.

If I was your son I would hate your friends being nosey into my dating life, they are probably the type to ask about why he isn't married and got kids at 25, it's non of their business, if he wants to stay free and single then let him be, once he moves out I'm sure he will start dating, it must be quite embarrassing/degrading to have to bring girls back to your parents place and unfortunately with the housing crisis nothing is going to change soon

God what a nightmare for him.

Stay out of it and for God's sake ask your family to keep their beaks out.

22 is too young to have a committed relationship IMHO. I didn't have a serious (more than a year) relationship until I was 23. Far more important things to do at that age.

How depressing that this is seen as something worthy of comment. Plus if you voice this to him you'll just make him feel inadequate and put him off sharing anything important with you. Step right away.

Plus this:

"Should I be worried he'll be left on the shelf" is appalling.

"Left on the shelf" is an awful way to look at someone's entirely reasonable decision not to couple up. And he's 22 FFS!

Sorry to sound harsh but if you were my mum I'd run a mile from talking to you about anything that mattered in my life.

He's 22, guarantee he's meeting up with girls for fun if nothing else. Not surprised you don't know about it tbh.

@lilymelsx

This thread is 9 months old

blimey he's only 22

So he may be 23 now

I had had lots of bfs by then but not sure that was at all healthy. Just leave him alone, he is very young and perhaps enjoying himself a lot OP

What an odd old thread to dredge up.

My niece met her first boyfriend when she was 22. He is soooo lovely.

I was DH’s first gf. We met when he was 26.

I would stop worrying OP. If he was sat in his room daily with no mates yes, but your boy sounds perfectly normal.

What a bizzare thread to come back?

Is there a way zombie threads can be stopped? They annoy me but I get sucked it

Why should he share his private life with you?

He is 22 and can choose to date or not date if he wants to and does not have to give his mother a full account of his love life...

As long as he seems happy with his life, the rest is his business.

I agree leave him alone. There is plenty of time and besides he may be asexual. My uncle is, he’s in his seventies and never had a relationship other than close friends and is very happy as he is.

I was 27 when I met my DP 5 years ago and largely single before that. I had a friend question my sexuality and my family would encourage dating/ask unwanted questions, none of which made me meet anybody sooner. I was actually perfectly happy being single, the only thing that made me feel a bit sad was when others made me feel like I wasn’t normal for not having or being desperate to have a boyfriend! I met somebody when uni, travelling and living away we’re all out of my system. At his age he has plenty of time if he wants to meet somebody, I wouldn’t say/do anything.

Is he happy?
Does he ever ask for advice on dating?
If not, leave him alone.
There is way too much emphasis on being in a relationship. Mine makes me extremely happy but being in a relationship is not the answer to happiness. Maybe your son doesn't see it as a priority right now. Must drive him insane people asking if he is single still. None of their business or yours.

I feel like putting out an advert saying I have an amazing, hard working, handsome (only occasionally annoying!) son - any takers?? I guess it will just happen in its own time, as it will for your son too.

Any takers?!

Your 20s are for having fun, getting established in your career and spending time with friends.
Not one of my friends is with the person they dated (briefly) in their 20s... maybe we’re all a bit odd but settling down started in our early 30s.

Ugh. Zombie thread.

Think he is being sensible. Avoiding drama and perhaps waiting till he meets someone he actually likes or sees a future with. Maybe he doesn't want to mess about and is just happy. Maybe he hasn't met someone he clicks with yet. Maybe he doesn't want a serious relationship yet. He's only 22.

@lilymelsx

He’s 22....🤦🏼‍♀️ Leave him alone!!

Maybe you are in a different timezone but I'm intrigued as to what prompted you to resurrect a mundane zombie thread at 5am