Samaritan numbers if you need them... (Title edited by MNHQ)

[GaaaaarlicBread]

There is always help available , please speak up, you’re so cared for and so loved.

just to add if you don't feel like you can get the words out you can message the samaritans

I'm going to be very brave now and admit that I used that service and honestly if it wasn't for samaritans and being able to message them I honestly don't think I'd still be here today.

Great idea for a thread OP,well done

@FakeFraudSquad that brought me to tears, thank you for being so open and honest and for also acknowledging the good intention I had. I used suicide hotline numbers for a number of years when batting manic depression through my teenage years , even when I first met my now husband , I used them as talking to strangers was so much better at the time than talking to loved ones as they don’t know you and it felt easier . They saved my life.

@ohtheholidays I’m so glad you’re here to say that things get better xx

Elefriends, which is a forum the Charity Mind set up, is also helpful for support if you need to chat online.

Your local NHS trust or place of work or study may also allow you 24/7 access to the Big White Wall.

These things have helped me. Hopefully they may help others.

I genuinely thought it was a voucher code or something.

Me too.

I also appreciate the sentiment, but slightly object to a stranger telling me I'm "so cared for and so loved". Because it's bollocks. I have no partner and no children, and haven't spoken to a soul for nearly 36 hours - and am unlikely to until Monday morning.

(I'm not suicidal, but if I were, being told I'm loved when I know that's not the case would only rub in how lonely it can feel being on one's own.)

Thanks @itsemily I’m sorry to hear of your struggles but glad to hear you got support when you needed it the most. I’m another one who, even this early in my journey, can say it does get better. There are brighter days and beautiful moments we’d miss if we weren’t here. Reading Matt Haig’s Reasons to Stay Alive and his Twitter Feed reminded me to keep fighting. He had been through similar experiences and overcame them and he’s got lots of good advice for when things get too much.

It just goes to show you can’t please everyone and someone will always have something to say even if you have the best intentions at heart. I’ve asked MumsNet to change the title to be more clear.

No-one's questioning your intentions

I pointed out your thread title tells people nothing, you agreed and asked MNHQ to make it clearer and that's that.

Also OP....nice sentiment but saying "you're so cared for and so loved" is not appropriate. Many people literally have nobody...not a single friend or family member and whilst professionals DO care, they suffer for not having family and friends badly.

I knew what it meant.

for op

I also knew what this was going to be about, especially considering the news regarding Caroline Flack. It's unfortunate there's always one or two who relish in finding a flaw. A thoughtful post, thank you OP and those who have bravely shared their stories.

Very kind sentiment OP and I’m glad MN changed the title to raise the likelihood in those in need finding it.

I’m not sure why Worra is getting stick for pointing out an obvious flaw in something designed to be helpful.

@UnaCorda it’s not bollocks , I care about you and I’ve never even met you. And people who run hotlines will care about you too, or people you work with. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it .
But I get it if I didn’t say the right thing. I just wanted anyone who feels alone to know there’s people out there.

A few comments have made me think I shouldn’t have bothered but for the few people it might help , I’m glad.

@itsemily I’m long term single and childless the wrong side of 35. I didn’t feel like you said anything disingenuous or hurtful in sending out loving thoughts and sentiments. You’ve done nothing wrong .

Thanks Pardonwhat. Anyway, the title's been changed so it'll hopefully get maximum exposure.

Come on Worra. You could've said a "what a kind and thoughtful post OP, but can I suggest asking mumsnet hq to change the title to something a bit clearer for the people who might need it?"

Instead you opted for a snarky tone, and a  Which was harsh given the OP clearly came from a good place.

There's 'pointing out a flaw' and there's 'providing a constructive comment to be helpful'. The difference is in the intent and the tone.

I care about you

I know you mean well, but that is little to no actual practical help to the pp you're replying to. And you might think you do, but it's a lot easier to type in theory and principle, than act in actual cold hard real life.

These threads do come across a little ghoulish tbh, like you're rushing to get in there with the idea first. Similarly there are hundreds of replies on multiple Flack threads too and she's barely cold.

Thank you OP. Today has been a very tough day and I'm tired of struggling through life. Maybe I'll give them a call.

Sorry I bothered, I genuinely thought I might be of some help.
@BuzzShitbagBobbly I’m not rushing to anything, it’s not a race of who can show mumsnet a suicide hotline list before the other person . I did it out of genuine care and compassion , because I know i needed it years ago and would’ve found it helpful.
I do care. I work in a caring role for the NHS and look after people I’ve never even met and don’t know their whole story but still care and awful lot and want to help people, I run support groups and take phone calls for people in need and give every bit of energy and compassion to everyone, if I didn’t mean it I wouldn’t say it. I’m not fake and not doing it to get a gold medal.
Genuinely sorry I even thought I’d be of any help tbh , maybe MN isn’t the place for these sorts of posts , maybe a CF parking thread or a post about my husband doing something annoying whilst I’m pregnant is more appealing 💁🏻‍♀️

@BlueTooBlue they really are helpful I promise , they saved me

Similarly there are hundreds of replies on multiple Flack threads too and she's barely cold.

Indeed. So much virtue-signalling everywhere. (I'm not directing that comment at the OP.)

that was thoughtful.

It’s no surprise to me who pulled the op up and who jumped on the bandwagon

Isn’t this exactly the type of personal comments that the whole topic of this thread and the wider subject is about today?

Yes you are right it is personal and I should have worded it differently in how I posted the comment

But online snarky remarks when it’s obvious the op was doing something kind I don’t think should be ignored happens far too often on here

I shall ask MN to take down my post

itsemily

I can’t believe how this thread has gone. It was obvious you had good intentions. You may well have helped someone tonight by posting this. Or someone may come across it in the future.

Absolutely stunned how this thread has gone. Op was trying to help others out. That's it.