Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Using bitch for a dog

266 replies

Dunarunner · 15/02/2020 17:20

Probably going to be told to get a grip but AIBU to think this is a little bit odd. Have been having work done on house and also have a relatively new Labrador puppy.

On Monday a man came in to do some plastering and we had a brief chat in the kitchen about dogs. I mentioned ours is a girl and he sort of looked me in the eye and said ‘yeah, bitches are best. Less trouble.’ I was a bit Confused but told myself he was just using the correct terminology.

But on Friday, electrician was patting the dog and said ‘I’ve got a couple of bitches too’ or something to that effect.

I’m no prude (and rather too fond of the c word in the right situation) Grin
But couldn’t help but feel the men were enjoying being able to use the word ‘bitch’ legitimately, to a woman at home alone and was, if not creeped out, then just a touch unsettled

OP posts:
GothMummy · 15/02/2020 22:29

I ask "Is it a dog or a bitch?" and might say I prefer dogs to bitches. It's the correct term. I also call my female pony a mare, because that's what she is.

powershowerforanhour · 15/02/2020 22:36

but the second guy was about 18 and I have a brother not that much older and same demographic

By demographic, do you mean working class? Because young working class men do seem to be the vet clients most comfortable unselfconsciously using the word "bitch" in the correct fashion- because they are some of the most likely to own working lurchers, terriers, beating and rough shooting dogs etc. In the city, quite a few of them have older male family members who bred and trained greyhounds and remember going to the dog tracks when younger; still others who breed Staffies. All of these pursuits being much more encouraged in boys than girls- an intergenerational "men in sheds" type of thing. They advertise their pups on gumtree as "two dogs, three bitches, good working strain" rather than "3 little girls left, RARE COLOURS, one with heart shaped white marking, very cute".

Mind you, creepy radar is usually correct so creepy guy may well be a creep. I have (very rarely) had (older, IIRC) men seem to enjoy using the word bitch legitimately but in a creepy misogynistic kind of way but I am fortunate in that I can play those ones with a completely straight bat and yak away about seasons, coverings etc and not give them the satisfaction of getting the reaction they wanted (plus I can out-science them in a heartbeat if required; I don't do this to nice normal people but I can do it to sexist arseholes quite happily as required). Even without being particularly "doggy" I think a straight bat and possibly a bit of filibustering is the way forward with the creepy types.

Bagofoldbones · 15/02/2020 22:39

It’s not just about the wording though is it and I think people are spectacularly missing the point - maybe on purpose I think.

Any way Op there are people on here that get you.

chuck7 · 15/02/2020 22:41

Yeah YABU. In the past I've been around dogs alot and bitch is a very common term??

Leflic · 15/02/2020 23:11

I find it more disturbing when they get called “ girl dogs”. I mean “girl” us an inappropriate term for female unless an actual child and I’d prefer that bitch was used as an insult rather than the humanising of a non human species.

mrsBtheparker · 15/02/2020 23:13

Surely it depends how your 4-legged friend identifies!

Original poster
Dunarunner · 15/02/2020 23:29

mrsB she was assigned female bitch at birth but I’ve noticed that in the park she prefers to chase footballs instead of sniff flowers, so I think she could be confused

OP posts:
cpl24805254 · 16/02/2020 00:40

Is this your first pup? stop watching Lady And The Tramp.

Ingridla · 16/02/2020 01:07

My mum always refers to her girl dog as a bitch. It's the correct terminology you daft pudding!

TinklyLittleLaugh · 16/02/2020 01:33

Trust your instincts OP. Most women have pretty good creep radar.

MummySharn · 16/02/2020 01:34

It’s the correct word thoughConfused

TeensArghhhh · 16/02/2020 02:47

Roll up! Get your grips here > // . A female dog is a bitch - no kidding 🤔

Ohtherewearethen · 16/02/2020 03:50

This is one big cringe. I don't know what answers you were looking for (maybe a big pile-on about misogyny, sexism, nasty men out to get at women at every opportunity) but you said yourself you haven't got the ones you were looking for. Being offended by the use of the word meaning a female dog is, quite frankly, ridiculous. You appear to seek validation for this from the internet and friends, didn't get it and so then change direction slightly and try to say the man was just creepy/made you feel uncomfortable, which is different from him using the correct term to describe your female dog. Some people are creepy generally, regardless of their biological knowledge.
I find it absolutely hilarious that you think you can speak for generations of people in your oh-so 'urban' environment and profess that there's no way any of them would know that a bitch is a female dog. Really? How on earth could you even pretend to know this?
Lastly, correcting someone's grammar and spelling is all very well but do make sure your own posts are all correct and free from typos too. Otherwise it makes you look a bit of a knob.

Bikerider2020 · 16/02/2020 06:36

Any way Op there are people on here that get you.

Luckily they're going n the minority! It's a dog and it's female so it's a bitch!

AvocadoAdvocate · 16/02/2020 07:21

I don't have a problem with the word bitch for a female dog, and wouldn't have a problem with a man using the term, but when I chat to other dog walkers I think the most common wording, around here anyway, is "Is it a 'he' or a 'she'?", so perhaps there is some subconscious sensitivity at play.

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 16/02/2020 07:31

Leflic, I'm pretty sure all dog owners say "good girl" or "good boy" to their dogs!

SoupDragon · 16/02/2020 08:02

I think people are spectacularly missing the point - maybe on purpose I think.

No, "people" have a different opinion and think the OP is being daft.

EntropyRising · 16/02/2020 08:09

Leflic, I'm pretty sure all dog owners say "good girl" or "good boy" to their dogs!

I call my dog all kinds of things e.g. good girl/stinky girl/stink snout/snoutcakes and so on but when discussing dogs/litters/breeds and so forth she's a bitch.

Bagofoldbones · 16/02/2020 08:10

No, "people" have a different opinion and think the OP is being daft

Ok so you’ve never seen a thread on here telling the op to go with their gut feeling on a situation.

Never seen a thread where posters tell the op to trust their ‘spidy senses’

You wasn’t there, neither was I but OP was and something told her it was off. So it probably was.

Frothybothie · 16/02/2020 08:18

In the Scottish town of linlithgow there's a pub called The Black Bitch. People from linlithgow call themselves, and are called Black Bitches, with pride. It's a local story about how a loyal lady dog of colour rescued a man or child.
Calm down dear it's the correct name.

SoupDragon · 16/02/2020 08:23

You wasn’t there, neither was I but OP was and something told her it was off. So it probably was.

No, thats your opinion. It is simply different to mine (and others).

There are many, many times when your "spidey sense" (🙄) doesn't tell you anything when in reality there is something wrong. Most likely far more than when your gut instinct is right. There are also probably many occasions when your gut instinct is wrong.

laundryelf · 16/02/2020 08:34

What happened to trusting your instincts?! OP was there, she felt the conversation was a bit off, I say it probably was. In my experience other dog owners would have said "I have two labradors, both bitches"
As previous poster mentioned I have never heard an owner say good bitch to their dog!
Different opinions can be expressed without insulting the other person.

Ohtherewearethen · 16/02/2020 08:36

But, @Bagofoldbones, the title and the OP states that it was the use of the word 'bitch' that made her uncomfortable. As I said upthread, people are creepy for all sorts of reasons. If she just said she got a bad or creepy vibe from him that's a different issue. It's the using of the word 'bitch' that the OP has a problem with. She said they enjoyed using it to her when she was alone, ffs! Like little boys that say 'bum' when no one's around. Grown men are allowed to use correct nouns when discussing animals. It's the OP that's the odd one out as both of these people used the correct term. If a woman were to use it would she still feel offended or is it just men that aren't allowed to?
We have instinct for a reason and we need to trust it but this is just silly. I expect OP was hoping for a chorus of, sexist pig, misogynist, poor you, he's a sex pest, you were right to object to the use of that term in your home, etc, and hasn't got that so she's trying all sorts to validate her over reaction at this complete non-event.

Elbeagle · 16/02/2020 08:43

As previous poster mentioned I have never heard an owner say good bitch to their dog!

Well no, but I don’t say ‘good dog’ to my (male) dog either. I say ‘good boy’. And when I had a bitch I said ‘good girl’.

couchparsnip · 16/02/2020 08:46

If the workman said "BITCHES are more trouble" while creepily looking at you to gauge your reaction then maybe it was a power display in his part. I have seen men do that as a 'joke'

I would feel uncomfortable in that situation too. You can't object because they'll say it was all in your head.