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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have food shop guilt

240 replies

littleblackdress04 · 15/02/2020 15:11

Our monthly food shop for a family of 4 is about £200ish a month- I cook 90% from scratch, take food into work & kids have packed lunches 3 days a week/ school dinners the rest. We rarely eat out as a family - maybe a couple of times a year,

I mostly shop in Lidl during the month but do an Asda shop once a month to get stuff I can’t get in Lidl- nice tins of mixed beans etc. I am also a vegan & can’t get soya yoghurt etc in lidl.

I went to Sainsbury’s today & bought a load of nice vegan stuff as a treat- oatly milk, nice vegan butter, some lovely veg sausages that I can’t get elsewhere but felt REALLY guilty about being there- as if I was wasting my money when I could be getting stuff at Lidl.

Does anyone else get food guilt? I feel a constant pressure to budget, cook from scratch etc but sometimes I want a treat! I am aware that I could cut my food budget even more - it just amazed me how guilty I felt for ‘splashing out’ in Sainsbury’s

Aibu- does anyone else get this? I know I am lucky that I am not on a really tight budget- I get that- but I was surprised at my reaction to spending money on food. As it goes I spent £50 in Sainsbury’s on some nice bits but it somehow feels extravagant 😬

OP posts:
WhatKatyDidNot · 15/02/2020 16:52

Another one thinking that is a very tight budget! I'm quite in awe of how far you make it stretch, OP. I don't consider us extravagant at all and we spend about £30 per person per week - with the occasional extra blow out if we want to be indulgent/fancy.

Willow2017 · 15/02/2020 16:53

I get it OP
I shop in Aldi and manage to get a weeks shop for around £40. I do need to top up with milk or bread etc before the end of the week usually but I havent room to store more!

I also get stuff when its reduced to pennies wherever possible in the evenings in the big stores.

Once in a while I will go to another supermarket and get stuff I cant get in Aldi for a change of meals or treats and am always shocked at the price and think why did I get so little for so much ££. (I still dont buy 'labels' but its still expensive!) But its good to treat yourself and the family now and again if its not putting you in financial straights.
If you can afford it then be kind and allow yourself a few extras, its not the end of the world.

I would never, ever shop at Aldi or Lidl. Mumsnetters spending twenty quid a month at Aldi doesn’t make them more superior. I can afford it and I want nice things. I refuse to feel guilty about it
What a ridiculous thing to say!
Does telling everyone that you like to splurg out on 'nice things' make you feel superior now?
Not everyone can afford to shop elsewhere, maybe think you are lucky not to have to worry about your food budget and not that the rest of us are doing it to feel 'superior' but out of necessity. Aldi products are no different from anywhere else, good quality and a whole lot cheaper. I can get everything I need for a weekly shop except the lacto free milk I like.

BritWifeinUSA · 15/02/2020 16:54

Life is for living! Enjoy it! If you’ve got the money, spend it. You can’t take it with you to the next life. I notice that on many food shopping threads here people are chastising people got buying steak and salmon and telling them should be buying cheap stuff and it all sounds so miserable. Wgat you spend on a month for 4, we spend in 2 weeks for 2 of us. But I enjoy good quality food.

But this is MN where if you can’t make a can of value tomatoes and a handful of pasta feed a family of 9 for a month then you’re a failure.

crimsonlake · 15/02/2020 16:55

Perhaps you enjoy budgeting and keeping the price of the food shop down, some people actually do. Personally, I do it out of necessity and it is a pretty joyless way of living.
I am on my own most of the time so can live cheaply, however when my sons are home I make sure that I buy things they like and do not scrimp. That said I always cook from scratch, they have not been brought up on take aways and ready meals.
We were quite poor growing up and I was one of 6, so yes it can be a hard habit to break being frugal if that is all you have known.

HeronLanyon · 15/02/2020 16:56

I sometimes feel angry/upset when someone in front of me appears (I could be wrong but it’s sometimes pretty obvious) to have weeks out the money they have on what they have bought. I look at mine on the belt and just think how were messed up and rich poor gap is bigger than ever. So I don’t feel personally guilty but more politically angry.
If ever I was being stupidly extravagant and could not afford it the. That would be stupid. Not sure I’d feel guilty. I’d think - I need to stop this (if I could not afford).

HeronLanyon · 15/02/2020 16:57

‘Eeked out’, not ‘weeks out’.

AmelieTaylor · 15/02/2020 17:00

@MyDcAreMarvel

I don’t think £200 for a family of four is tight. I spend £90 a week family of ten but two babies so £390 a month

Are you serious? If you are...what do you actually eat?

@littleblackdress04. I couldn’t do it & enjoy the food/not spend hours & hours cooking.

I spend a lot of money on food when I’m eating well, it’s much cheaper (for me) when I’m not. ‘well’ for ME, is (vegetarian) low carb. Eating carbs isn’t good for ME, but it’s a LOT cheaper.

Lidl/Aldi are cheaper, but I don’t like buying their veg because it’s imported and much if it’s imported from Spain where they use a lot of chemicals.

My personal choice is to pay more & buy local (I appreciate having the budget to make that choice). Also if I do buy packets/tins etc I tend to buy ‘brands’. I’ll try the ‘own brands’ but never find them as nice. If I did, I’d buy them.

I sometimes feel annoyed at the cost of the shopping, but I don’t feel guilty.

I only feel guilty if something gets thrown away & I try very hard not to do it. But I won’t risk anyone getting an upset stomach.

speakout · 15/02/2020 17:02

Agreed it is a very tight budget.

I don't get the guilt, but I don't always eat what I would like to.
I prefer a plant based diet, but the only one in the house ( 5 of us) that feels that way.
Last night I ate a beef cottage pie. It was home made- I was told it was delicious, but I shoveled it in because it was there and food.
I don't like ready meals, and buying separate vegetarian/vegan food just for me and cooking it is far too much effort. It is a oittle sad that I can't always eat what I would like to.

SallyWD · 15/02/2020 17:02

I only feel guilty if I throw food away. Sounds like you shouldn't be feeling guilty but very proud for managing to feed everyone on £50 a week. We spend closer to £200 a week. Our closest shop is Waitrose so we generally shop there. I do feel we're extremely extravagant when it comes to food shopping (especially when I compare myself to people like you OP). At the same time I think it's OK. We work hard. Food is our passion. We spend very little on clothes, the house, car etc. This is the one and only thing we splash out on.

georgialondon · 15/02/2020 17:04

I never feel guilty. Food is one of the few vital things in life!

PoppyFleur · 15/02/2020 17:12

I feel guilty about throwing food away, which is why I meal plan. But I don't feel guilty about the amount I spend on food.

I am feeling a tiny bit guilty about the wine delivery yesterday but this won't last long (the guilt that is, the 12 bottles of wine will last for several weeks!).

f83mx · 15/02/2020 17:15

200 - a month is pretty minimal - I do a mixture of shops - spend 3-4 times that but we buy what we want when we want, cook from scratch always but have meat, alcohol, treats as well in that.

couchlover · 15/02/2020 17:31

No guilt at all! Sainsbury's came out cheapest in a supermarket test this year I read recently.

We live near Sainsbury's so shop there more than other shops but also regularly shop at Morrison's and aldi. Depending on what I want will decide where I shop.

EuroMillionsWinner · 15/02/2020 17:38

No, I sure don't. I don't feel eco guilt or eco worry, either, or worry about coronavirus, SARS or the sky falling down.

chocolate26 · 15/02/2020 17:40

Wow £200 for a family of 4 is great! I wish I could be more like that, I do about £400 a month for 2 adults 🙄 no joke, it's ridiculous and I'm trying to get it down.

Flupibass · 15/02/2020 17:53

I’d like to know what you cook and eat for that amount. I spend at least 3 or 4 times that amount per month. I cook from scratch, don’t eat meat or fish. I buy a few organic veg. Rarely buy wine. That does include things like toothpaste, cleaning products but very few and not often. I get a delivery so not Lidl or Aldi but otherwise I seriously don’t see how I could spend less other than to buy inferior produce. But it’s what you’re putting into your body so surely should be good quality?

speakout · 15/02/2020 17:53

£50 a week for 4 people is impressive.

£1.80 a day per person. For three meals.

60p budget per meal per person?

speakout · 15/02/2020 17:56

Flupibass

I am curious too.

THe OP is cooking a meal for 4 people for £2.40. Very impressive.

SheldonSaysSo1 · 15/02/2020 18:00

It's great to be able to shop on such a small budget when needed. However, what we eat is really important both in terms of health and having some enjoyment. I don't think spending as little as possible is the best way of achieving this when you don't need to.

namechangin · 15/02/2020 18:03

I've just spent £250 on a shop - hopefully it'll last a while as I've stocked up on bread and milk as well as tins but I expect we'll need to buy a few different things throughout the month to top it up Blush

namechangin · 15/02/2020 18:03

There's only two adults and a 7 month old too!

Original poster
littleblackdress04 · 15/02/2020 18:05

We eat an old school vegetarian diet really- I cook stuff like veg curry, dhal, rice, jacket potatoes, soups, veg bean chillis, veg cottage pies etc, lentil spaghetti Bol etc. I make my own flat breads, houmous etc. Kids have Omlettes, fish fingers too. Kids have sarnies, crisps, fruit, yoghurts when the have packed lunch. Porridge/ weetabix/ cheap shreddies for breakfast in the week & maybe toast. I also batch cook.

I don’t buy much vegan ‘frankinfood’ as someone commentated but I do like Linda McCartney sausages etc. We do eat a nice diet & it’s not joyless!

I’m just thinking now I could spend more!!

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/02/2020 18:08

£200 pm, what do you eat?

I went shopping this morning for a top up... and spent £158

Original poster
littleblackdress04 · 15/02/2020 18:12

@haud I just wrote about what i eat above your post

OP posts:
Ragwort · 15/02/2020 18:14

As others have said, that is an incredibly tight budget for a family of four. I never feel 'guilty' about spending money on food, but I don't think I am extravagant - I spend within our means and don't go to Waitrose every week, but I rarely go to Lidl or Aldi much as I just don't like the shopping experience. Things I don't like spending money on are meals out, often disappointing or 'days out' .... can never understand people who spend £££s on concert tickets for example.