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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have food shop guilt

240 replies

littleblackdress04 · 15/02/2020 15:11

Our monthly food shop for a family of 4 is about £200ish a month- I cook 90% from scratch, take food into work & kids have packed lunches 3 days a week/ school dinners the rest. We rarely eat out as a family - maybe a couple of times a year,

I mostly shop in Lidl during the month but do an Asda shop once a month to get stuff I can’t get in Lidl- nice tins of mixed beans etc. I am also a vegan & can’t get soya yoghurt etc in lidl.

I went to Sainsbury’s today & bought a load of nice vegan stuff as a treat- oatly milk, nice vegan butter, some lovely veg sausages that I can’t get elsewhere but felt REALLY guilty about being there- as if I was wasting my money when I could be getting stuff at Lidl.

Does anyone else get food guilt? I feel a constant pressure to budget, cook from scratch etc but sometimes I want a treat! I am aware that I could cut my food budget even more - it just amazed me how guilty I felt for ‘splashing out’ in Sainsbury’s

Aibu- does anyone else get this? I know I am lucky that I am not on a really tight budget- I get that- but I was surprised at my reaction to spending money on food. As it goes I spent £50 in Sainsbury’s on some nice bits but it somehow feels extravagant 😬

OP posts:
UserV · 15/02/2020 15:46

@littleblackdress04 Me and DH spend £70 a week on our food budget (kids have left home now.)

Is this some kind of weird stealth brag? 😕

'I only spend £200 a month on a family of 4.'

'I cook from scratch 90% of the time.'

'I get vegan food, lovely vegan butter blah blah......'

Does sound a bit stealth-braggy.

And no, I NEVER feel 'guilty' for treating myself to nice food. I deserve it.

SoftSheen · 15/02/2020 15:47

Nice food is always a good thing to spend your money on, as long as you can afford it and the food isn't wasted. Don't feel guilty, you are nurturing your family.

TriangleBingoBongo · 15/02/2020 15:48

£200 per month is great!

I spend about £100 per week. Very little processed food in that and we eat all homemade stuff. That’s for four of us.

Much better value in Aldi or Lidl. But I find it so much easier to do an online shop. I’ll meal plan and shop looking at recipes, going back to check the cupboards to see what I have in etc. I could do that and shop somewhere else but so much easier to have it delivered.

Floribundance · 15/02/2020 15:49

When you’re very strict with yourself and live a certain way it can feel wrong to step outside of that. As you’re so used to budgeting why not try setting aside a specific amount per month for treats (vegan foods you can’t get at the cheaper places)?

Alsohuman · 15/02/2020 15:53

We spend about £100 a week for two of us, that includes alcohol (only at weekends), cleaning materials, etc.

Dodie66 · 15/02/2020 15:54

Gosh £200 a month for a family of 4. I spend about £80 a week for 3 adults. You do well to get your shopping for that amount

LazyFace · 15/02/2020 15:54

That's a very low food budget, vegan or not (milk and meat substitutes aren't too cheap), you must be a wizard.
I went to Waitrose this week and also to a shop that sells my home country's food at ridiculous prices. Of course I deserved it, we mostly ear local and everybody needs treats.

Newmetoday · 15/02/2020 15:55

Mines is £400 and I have no guilt whatsoever. In fact, with top ups, it’s more. We need food to survive so why would I feel guilty? I would never, ever shop at Aldi or Lidl. Mumsnetters spending twenty quid a month at Aldi doesn’t make them more superior. I can afford it and I want nice things. I refuse to feel guilty about it

Oblomov20 · 15/02/2020 15:55

Not once in my life have I ever felt 'guilty' over food. I think this is the telling bit!

MrsSilverVWGolf · 15/02/2020 15:56

YABU for spending £50 on vegan crap

LazyFace · 15/02/2020 15:57

Newme... Lidl has the best toasted pumpkin seed oil, totally worth hunting for it. I try to avoid these shops as they're horrible for plastic but their products aren't always bad.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 15/02/2020 15:57

I do agree with OP that it's hard to understand what a reasonable amount to spend actually is!!

Imo reasonable amount is 1- you can afford it, 2- it's providing good nutrition and 3-not buying too much unnecessary crap (treats obviously allowed)
Everyone needs bit different diet and has different incomes so it's just not universal.

As long as 1, 2 and 3 are ticked, it is a reasonable budget in my opinion.

user18463585026 · 15/02/2020 15:58

Life is way too short for this.

JKScot4 · 15/02/2020 15:58

@MrsSilverVWGolf
‘vegan crap’ really? it’s her choice what to spend on.

Lelophants · 15/02/2020 15:58

That's basically £50 a week for a family of 4 - so not much at all!

atomicblonde30 · 15/02/2020 15:58

I spend about £300 per month for me and 3 kids, that is with formula, nappies and wipes included. When I no longer need to buy that it’ll be £250ish. Money is very VERY tight right now so every penny quite literally is accounted for, though if that’s not the case and I had a healthy disposable income I would treat myself to some nice food! I would still get that nagging guilty feeling at the back of my mind though.

I’ve always had that though as I was raised in poverty.

Thisisshit123 · 15/02/2020 15:59

I am exactly the same I have a guilt aswel! Buying more expensive items when normally it would be the cheaper stuff like how dare we put our family on the breadline even though that is not true

littleblackdress04 · 15/02/2020 16:00

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SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 15/02/2020 16:01

We spend between £200 and £300 on a family of 5. I know that doesn't seem like a lot to a lot of people but we don't go without and always have plenty of food in. Shop in a mixture of places.

NiteFlights · 15/02/2020 16:02

I would never, ever shop at Aldi or Lidl. Mumsnetters spending twenty quid a month at Aldi doesn’t make them more superior. I can afford it and I want nice things. I refuse to feel guilty about it

I shop at Lidl, Asda, Sainsbury’s & M&S. A hell of a lot of stuff is better quality at Lidl. Eg the bread from their bakery is streets ahead even of M&S and much cheaper. Plus you don’t have to look at aisles and aisles of utter shit being marketed at you like you do in the big supermarkets.

OP I think you’re being hard on yourself.

UntamedWisteria · 15/02/2020 16:02

I spend a lot of money on food.

Because it makes a difference to our quality of life in such a fundamental way as we have to eat every day.

I can afford it, so don't feel guilty.

I would rather spend money on nice food than, say, new clothes I don't really need.

VirtualHamster · 15/02/2020 16:02

I was brought up this way, and it's definitely hard to get out of the mindset that you couldn't be getting a better deal elsewhere. Growing up we were only allowed certain things when they were on offer, and it's a habit i find hard to break!

Techway · 15/02/2020 16:02

Is this right? under £7 per day, for 3 meals for 4 people? Seems extremely low to me

cowboy · 15/02/2020 16:04

I'm currently feeding three of us and a dog on about £50 a week. It's not easy, my kids get through a lot of milk and cheese, eggs but it is doable - just about - by shopping at Aldi.

cowboy · 15/02/2020 16:05

When I say kids I mean grown up kids with big appetites 😂