To ask what age you would let your child let themselves in after school?

[thegreekgoddessofcheese]

Having a chat with a friend about this yesterday. Our DC's are in yr5. Currently walk home from school independently, but parents are home already.
My DF is considering do this in yr6, if her DC feels comfortable. They'd be at home for an hour or so before a parent returns.
I hadn't thought it as something that would be considered before they start secondary school really. My DS is a bit away with the fairies, I'd worry about lost keys etc. I leave him alone at home for short periods already.
I know I wasn't allowed until I was in second year of secondary, but I think my DPs were being a bit super-precious!

So, what do people think / do?

Ds started doing this from last year of primary occasionally, building up to being fully confident and doing every night and most mornings (I leave at 7am) by the tine he went to high school.

Couple of minor disasters... lost key one morning.. got a bit upset until he realised he could use back door and a bus nosed for high school because he got distracted playing FIFA.

It’s good to teach them independence and also how to cope with little unexpected wobbles:

His key is now on a lanyard cable tied to the inside of his school bag so it can’t be put in a pocket or left in his room

My youngest had to let herself in from Year 6 when I returned to work, although she sometimes had her older brother there too.

It depends very much on your child. Some will be fine by Year 5, some you still wouldn't trust in Year 11.

Mine at 11 Y7. Before then they didn't have a key.

Aged 12, end of year 7 or beginning of year 8. Although it does depend on the individual child and exactly how long they'll be alone for. Often if they attend a club after school it could mean they only have half an hour before a parent returns.

My DC let themselves in from age 7 (DH worked at home so there was an adult there - he just had lots of teleconferences so couldn't always let them in; they came home from school with a neighbour). We put their key on a large keyring and it "lived" in an inside pocket of their bags.

I think Year 6 is fine what your friend is suggesting.

From the start of year 6 here. She was only home alone for 15 minutes though.

My DF's child is a very calm sensible boy. Mine is, not the same

Both mine were/are in year 7.
After the first forgotten key incident I attached the house key to a bungee cord clipped inside their bags so they never need to take it off.
There's an extra spare if they need it at weekends (rarely so far).

Ds1 was 11, from the start of secondary. Unavoidable really because at the time his school bus stops 5 minutes from home we’re picking up ds2 from Primary about 5 miles away.

Until the end of Y6 Ds1 was with a childminder after school. I’ve no doubt he would have been fine for a couple of hours in Y6 but I just didn’t like the thought of him arriving to an empty house after school and having no one to talk to about his day and stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️

My ds has done this for the first time. He’s 11. I arrived about 20 mins later.

After the first forgotten key incident I attached the house key to a bungee cord clipped inside their bags so they never need to take it off

This is such a good idea that I’m stealing!

Since September we’ve already had Ds1 lose 1 key and leave his at home about 5 times meaning he’s been stuck sitting on the step outside for up to an hour (and clearly didn’t learn from any of the experiences!)

I did from aged 11. Got the bus home and let myself in. Parents arrived home anything from 5 minutes to two hours later.

But I was also left all day in the school holidays from 12.

I gave DS1 his own key to the front door the day he turned ten (summer term of Y5). He stopped going to after school club except one day per week in Y6 but either his dad was wfh or I was slightly behind / ahead with DS2. By the summer term of Y6 he’d dropped after school care completely and just came home and let himself in. I think it still being daylight by the time a parent arrived home really helped. He is in Y8 now and he always lets himself out in the morning and locks up behind himself even though DP or I are generally still at home. This means we both know he has his keys with him.

It's certainly fine from starting secondary- there's a reason that a) you won't find any childcare provision for secondary age kids, and b) the council will expect a secondary age child to be able to get themselves to school on public transport if necessary.

Lots of sensible year 6 children are fine doing this too, children don't transform over night at the start of secondary school.

Ps we have a hidden key safe at our house. We all know the code by heart and its easy to operate, a 10 or 11 year old could easily manage it.

Last half term year six/Secondary age. Our primary didn’t allow them to leave and walk home alone until year 6 so they all started at about the same age.

Yr6 is fine to do this but obviously depends on the child.

When both of mine wee in YR 6 they made their way back and fore to school on their own. School encouraged it as part of developing their transition to secondary school.

I went back to work full time when youngest was in Yr6 so he was in his own for an hour or so but he wasn't bothered. Said he was doing homework but used the time without parents to watch TV !

End of year 6 in preparation for secondary. That involves getting a bus home too (occasionally the train)

Y5 so 9yo.
Just for ten minutes or so whilst I followed behind with younger dd.
Gradually increased it so that now at 11.5 she's good for a few hours on her own.

Secondary school age for me too... but that’s age 12.5/13 for my dc. But to be honest I can’t see it happening ever as there’s no bus from where we live for them to get to school so I will drive until they can drive at age 17/18 for the last 2 years 🤷‍♀️

Going to have to be high school. I'm more worried about him locking the door behind him, as I'll be gone an hour before he leaves and back about 2 hours after him.

DS did from the start of year 5 at age 9. He caught a bus home then was home alone for an hour or so.

Just turned 8 for ds, nearly 9 for dd. Not ideal but no choice really. Not only does it depend on the child, but also the area you live imo.

My two are 9 and 12 and have been walking home from school by themselves for a year. They are then in the house by themselves for one and a half to two hours before we get home from work. I know a lot of people would find this a worrying arrangement and I can't pretend I'm totally relaxed about it myself - but it's the best we can do. Factors in the decision were: the area we live in, the route home from their schools, the fact that both girls are pretty sensible, and they both have phones to contact us in case of emergency.

my DC was 12 almost 13. and I was only happy about it because my older DC1 was 16. It wasnt so much that I didnt trust DC more I didnt want them to feel alone in the house