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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be holding 9 month old for naps

52 replies

Pondlife87 · 14/02/2020 18:14

My LG is almost 9 months old. Until she was 5 months old and went through leap 5 she would fall asleep anywhere. Then after leap 5 (wonder weeks) she hasn't been able to nap unless I am holding her.
I nurse her to sleep, but my husband, Mum and Dad are able to rock her to sleep. Then throughout her nap she has to be held. I frequently attempt to put her down, but she just pings awake and no amount of shhing and patting will get her back to sleep.
I know she now has huge sleep associations with nursing, rocking and cuddles.
She is a rubbish napper and always has been. I normally get two 30 minute naps (40 mins maximum).
People keep telling me i need to get her sleeping independently in the day, but i don't know what an earth to do to get her to nap.
I have downloaded the huckleberry app which identifies her ideal nap times, which is making night time sleep better, but not improving her dependence on me to nap.
I don't mind her napping on me as it means we get cuddles and closeness, but I guess it isn't sustainable?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pondlife87 · 14/02/2020 18:15

Please also note I am not willing to try CIO methods

OP posts:
puds11 · 14/02/2020 18:17

Meh my DD 8 months is the same. I just hold her. Why does she need to sleep independently?

Boom45 · 14/02/2020 18:17

Neither of mine would nap in a cot/moses basket. They napped in the car or pram or the napped in my arms. I loved it, wouldn't have changed a thing.

BertieBotts · 14/02/2020 18:18

Why not? If it's working for you no need to rush and change it imo. I hate it when people insist that sleep issues "need to" be changed just because they personally would find it inconvenient. I never minded having my DC nap on me. And once they get too heavy to comfortably hold, I just move to feeding them to sleep in my bed and then you can either nap with them, sit close for the body contact and read/play on phone, or sneak away and do something else. It's about what you find convenient, not anybody else.

JagerPlease · 14/02/2020 18:21

My DS was like this. The only way other than being held that he would sleep was when moving - in a car, pram or sling. I just went with it. By the time he was about one and a half I could generally put him down on the sofa next to me. How does she fall asleep at night? As DS couldn't be "put down" for a nap until I cracked getting him to fall asleep on his own at night, which unfortunately did take the supernanny stay in bed type technique which I didn't use until he was 2.5

Praiseyou · 14/02/2020 18:22

Is it a problem for you that you need to hold her? If it's not, you don't have to listen to other people's advice.

How is she at night? Does she go down on her own? If it's not affecting night time and is not a problem for you during the day, I wouldn't change it.

Marahute · 14/02/2020 18:22

My 13 month old is still contact napping, I have no idea how to stop!
Mine either nurses to sleep in my arms, or I wear her in a baby carrier (if older sibling is around)... I have a love hate relationship. No one else can get her to sleep, so it's hard. But they are tiny for such a short space of time so....

MrsPotatoHeadsSheeWee · 14/02/2020 18:22

My 42 month old sleeps on me for 100% of his daytime naps and bedtime/all night. He's happy, so I'm happy.

Mischance · 14/02/2020 18:23

Enjoy that lovely closeness - she'll be a teenager soon enough!

xJune88 · 14/02/2020 18:24

I cuddle my 9 month old to sleep and hold her for naps, works for us. Getting the cuddles in whilst shes still little!

CottonSock · 14/02/2020 18:26

Mine napped in sling or pram. Would that be worth a try so you can get stuff done?

squid4 · 14/02/2020 18:28

I did this with my first and it was nice tbh, I read a lot of novels...
You can't do it second time round...

YukoandHiro · 14/02/2020 18:29

Nope, YANBU. It won't last as long as you think. Enjoy the snuggles and find things to do while you're nap trapped eg phone to hand for life admin/emails, online food shopping or just Mumsnet, or use time to do the reading you think you'll do at bedtime but where your eyes just close before you're opened the first page. Try not to fight it - if the baby is rested the rest of the day Will be easier for both of you.
I'm 100 percent in the do what works most easily category. I still sometimes breastfeed my 2.5 year old to sleep. It'a not a rod, it's a parenting tool

LowcaAndroidow · 14/02/2020 18:31

So long as you’re not going to send her to childcare (and you’re happy doing it) then I wouldn’t stress.

moobar · 14/02/2020 18:33

My 15 month old has just stopped. Herself. Nobody and no matter could get her to nap herself. 2 weeks ago she would not settle so I popped her in cot. Since then been napping in cot and points at door when she wants to go. This followed a massive improvement in night sleeping about 4 weeks prior to that. A gentle sleep plan followed there.

firstimemamma · 14/02/2020 18:37

My ds napped on me until 10 months and I only stopped because he got too heavy.

He's 18 months now and sleeps fantastically in his cot so all the "you'll make him clingy" stuff was pure bullshit!

I miss all those naps so much now and really did love the cuddles. Enjoy them and never let anyone make you feel bad.

Original poster
Pondlife87 · 14/02/2020 18:38

Night time: she feeds/ rocks to sleep but then will sleep in her cot in her own room.

Childcare: i guess if I have a concern, that is it. I am going back to work in 2 months and she will be with a sitter/ nursery. I have no idea how she'll nap there?

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 14/02/2020 18:39

I think you’re doing exactly the right thing. Mine were rubbish sleepers so would only sleep if they were close to me (I had a connecta sling, which was worth its money in gold). They’re so little and they just want to feel safe, keep at it. Remember, you can’t spoil a baby.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 14/02/2020 18:39

None of my children napped anywhere but on me - my lap or in a wrap. And they all nursed to sleep until they (self) weaned.

Enjoy the sleepy snuggles & Netflix Grin (subtitles only if you have a sound sensitive one like mine!)

fellyjish · 14/02/2020 18:51

If you're happy doing it then carry on, however if not you can do gentle sleep training.

I taught DS (now 8 months) to self-settle using the 'shh-pat' method (don't know what it's official name is! I gave him a big cuddle and some kisses then lay him down in his cot. I think patted his tummy (and sometimes stroked his head) whilst 'shushing'. I did this in 6 minute blocks so every 6 minutes I would pick him up for cuddles and then start again. It took a couple of weeks of doing it for ever sleep and then he got it.

Now, bar teething/illness I just pop him in his cot and he takes himself off to sleep (usually after some messing around)

Boom45 · 14/02/2020 18:52

@Pondlife87 she'll nap like a pro at nursery. Nurseries are magic when it comes to naps, its definitely witchcraft

doadeer · 14/02/2020 18:53

It's lovely having the cuddles but what will you do when she goes to a childminder or nursery?

YourEggnogIsBetterThanMine · 14/02/2020 18:54

Just enjoy it Smile

Zelda93 · 14/02/2020 18:55

I have a dd 9months who will nap on me in the day for 2 x 45mins naps at most!! But when at childminders she often doesn't get a nap .. if she does it for the short car journeys they do.. she seems to be coping with this and goes down fine at night 7pm to 7am .. rarely wakes up so I think she gets plenty of sleep then.. not much I can do about the day naps and I love our cuddle sleeps so don't plan on changing that .

riotlady · 14/02/2020 19:13

It’s up to you whether you find it a bother! DD was the same, all naps on me. She managed fine when she started nursery at 9 months. She’s 2 now and only recently stopped being cuddled to sleep- now I cuddle her for a bit and put her down and she goes to sleep on her own. I’ve mostly really enjoyed the snuggles!