Would you be a surrogate for your dd?

[NoSharon]

If you were healthy and fit?

If dd asked me, and I was fit, I'd do it.

Just came into my head today as she's going through exams and if I could take the pressure off her I would.

I don't have strong views either way about surrogacy and probably mother daughter surrogacy is a bit icky. But if I could do something for her, I would.

Totally hypothetical question btw.

No, I don’t think I would. I gave birth to them, that was enough of a strain on my body . There’s really no need for me to be a surrogate anyway, if all else failed they could find another surrogate.

Not in a million years. Wouldn't even consider it.

I would never be a surrogate for anyone because I believe that it normalises the commodification of women. Even if your own experience is 100% altruistic and consensual, you are still contributing to a culture that enables the exploitation of (usually poor) women by (usually wealthy) women and men. Secondly I don't believe that babies should be created specifically to be separated from their mothers. You might think the intended parent is the mother, she might think that she's the mother - it may even have been her egg that was used - but the baby thinks that it's mother is the one whose womb it grew in. It neither knows nor cares what gametes it came from, all it knows is that its been separated from the only person it's ever known and given to a stranger. This idea that the process of gestation is minor and irrelevant to an infant is simply wrong. The baby knows only you for warmth, protection and (in an ideal world) milk. When a baby is taken from its mother through adoption it is rightly seen as a tragedy. The only difference with surrogacy is that the process was intentional. The trauma to the baby is the same. If I had my way the whole process would be banned, as it is in much of Europe. One person's desire for a child should never over ride the rights of women not to be exploited, and the rights of infants not to be bought and sold.

It’s something I have given a lot of thought to. My dd has a Medical condition which means it’s unlikely she will be able carry her own child. I had her at 22 so age wise it might be possible for me to do it.
She is only 13 so obviously we are a long way off needing to worry about it. But if she wants me to and I am fit enough I would definitely be willing to do this for her.

Well no. Quite a crazy idea due to age. If my dd was in a position where she needed a surrogate, it would be a young healthy woman. I can't imagine in what situation it would be a good option for either party.

Yes I would 100%. I would do anything for my DC's happiness.

to everyone saying they would be too old, I think you can be pretty much any age. They give you medicine to restart things and they’re not your eggs so she doesn’t matter that much. I saw a story about a mother in her 50s or 60s who did it for her gay son and his partner

Most countries have rules in place about impregnating women (IVF etc) above a certain age. Pregnancy carries risks. Playing around with hormones and the actual growing and carrying a child are not without serious risk and that isn't age-independent. I think you're trivialising what is involved and the impact it has (at any age but even more so on an older woman).

Most women would have passed childbirth age by the time the issue arose if their daughter’s life had gone as they hoped.... no one wishes early parenthood for their kids these days do they? Don’t we want them to experience life, have careers and enjoy their youth in a way previous generations weren’t allowed to?

Absolutely.

Absolutely not. I'm anti-surrogacy, it's ethically extremely dubiuos. I'd actually be quite disappointed with my daughter if she asked.

Jeez, I just asked a question - I didn't want a debate.

Have you never encountered AIBU before?
Heads up MNers - you may only answer yes or no.