Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bit much for 8 year olds?

145 replies

Mydogatemypurse · 14/02/2020 11:03

A group of mums at my sons school have gone OTT on valentines day ... ringing other mums to alert them to who is dating who, and making sure that they are armed with presents and cards and making sure they 'dont forget'.
At the school this morning it was ridiculous. With a small group of kids getting showered with gifts/balloons etc whilst a lot were clearly left out.
Now my son isnt bothered in the slightest and didnt bat an eyelid, but my heart sank for some of the others who didnt get gifts and were looking on. I wondered about the impact on their self esteem at such a young age and whether the school should allow this.
Also I feel like a massive prude because I actually felt a bit uncomfortable with the parents encouraging the fuss, taking pictures of the happy couples kissing etc etc.
Am I completely out of touch?? I'm an old fart arent I?

OP posts:
DogInATent · 14/02/2020 13:43

Are the parents the kind that post on FB about their 'sexy little man/ princess' when talking about their children? It's all cringeworthy.

... and the same parents who are first in the mob with pitchforks at the first hint of a suspicious stranger innocently going about their business.

karencantobe · 14/02/2020 13:46

@HomeMadeMadness I agree. It is vicarious living, which is never a healthy sign

Toomuchtrouble4me · 14/02/2020 13:49

Never heard of such nonsense - parents calling each other? Twats

FrangipaniBlue · 14/02/2020 13:52

My sons old primary were the same, last year a girl in his class (y6 so 10/11) came out with a teddy the same size as her.

Absolutely ridiculous!

Scbchl · 14/02/2020 13:52

My sons class teacher, had them all make a card for family and one for their chosen class Valentine. They all gave them to her yesterday and she was going to leave them on their cards last night for them to go into. My son said this morning "oh I wonder who did one for me". Had to tell him not to get excited, as he may not get one. Was thinking it's ashame for kids who maybe wont get one. His class are six and seven.

74NewStreet · 14/02/2020 13:55

That’s absolutely shit, Scbchl

OfftoPenscome · 14/02/2020 13:57

Crazy stuff!

Bless my kids 15 & 18 and have never had a card between them 😂😂😂

JRUIN · 14/02/2020 14:09

These parents seriously need to give their heads a wobble Confused

SunshineCake · 14/02/2020 14:16

Awful. No doubt done by parents wanting to be cool who are then tearing their hair out when the kids are teenagers and a nightmare. I rolled my eyes at my MIL sending valentine cards to my kids when younger and binned all I found when tidying the loft.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 14/02/2020 14:19

Taking pictures of them kissing? Creepy as fuck!

Spotsandstars · 14/02/2020 14:19

Once again, adults pushing 'adult' ideals on children. When will we learn that the breakdown of innocence in society is partly due to this type of rubbish. Let kids be kids, they say they love each other because they do, as in the love their peers with a childhood purity but silly adults try and make it into dating and who wants to marry who etc etc. I think it's so weird and creepy.

EllaEllaE · 14/02/2020 14:24

@Scbchl: one of my primary school teachers did the same thing back in the 90s, and I still remember how confused and embarrassed I was by it all :-( Most of the kids in my class (me included) had no idea who to give a card to. So one or two boys and girls got most of them by default, because we all copied each other.

Here in the US little kids give everyone in their class a card. The first year I lived here, I remember being very surprised by multi-packs of valentines day cards in the shops!!

Yesterday my 4 and a half year old made cards for all his school friends, and today they will have a little party at his preschool. It's cute when its kept at this kind of level, and everyone is included. He talks a lot about how he loves his friends, so it is confusing for him. He doesn't really know what romantic love is, but its quite nice that they get to talk about how they love their friends.

I asked my DH (who is from the US) what age kids stop giving a card to everyone in their class, and it starts to feel more selective/competitive. He said around 9 or 10ish.

EllaEllaE · 14/02/2020 14:26

meant to say "it isn't confusing for him"!

74NewStreet · 14/02/2020 14:26

The only way that could be remotely acceptable is if everyone drew names from a hat so everyone would get one. Basically holding a popularity contest in the classroom is appalling.

Dividingthementalload · 14/02/2020 14:29

Valentines is banned in our primary right up to year 6! It’s weird and creepy and a total veil of adult insecurity acted out through small children. Just horrible.

Defo complain to school. No one would consider that behaviour appropriate for 8 year olds and there could even be safeguarding issues here (photographs of 8 year olds kissing is grossly inappropriate any time, let alone on school grounds in plain sight).

AliceDownARabbitHole · 14/02/2020 14:29

That's just weird.

Straycatstrut · 14/02/2020 14:39

8yo Children exchanging Valentine's Day gifts is creepy as hell. YANBU

Another vote for this. Another one nauseated by it.

Taking pictures of primary children kissing, encouraging it and then probably plastering them on social media makes me feel very uncomfortable. The children don't even know what they're doing! I think that's the worst bit. Who benefits from it? It doesn't sit right with me at all.

My DS school in Reception does "Wedding Day" where a boy and girl from the class get "married" say vows and everything, and the other children are bridesmaids/groomsmen/guests. Me & another Nursery mum have said we're not looking forward to it next year! feels really weird.

timetest · 14/02/2020 14:44

Parents calling each other to find out who their 8 year old is dating is creepy and crazy. Taking photo of little children kissing and putting them on social media is truly nauseating.

MissClareRemembers · 14/02/2020 14:47

@Scbchl that’s awful! Can you imagine how the children who don’t find a card on their table will feel? Then to go on half term for a week with that feeling still on their mind. Awful awful.

When my DS was in year 2, they were all asked to put their name on a piece of paper and the other children were encouraged to use adjectives to describe the child and to write them on the piece of paper. One child described my DS as ‘weird’. He was so upset. 6 years old. 😡

Lifeisgenerallyfun · 14/02/2020 14:47

Sounds more like mums using their kids to establish their popularity

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 14/02/2020 14:51

Thank God my dd has left school and I won't be having any more.

OverByYer · 14/02/2020 14:53

Creepy behaviour from people with too much time on their hands.

Butterflyflower1234 · 14/02/2020 15:00

This is just bloody ridiculous. No wonder children have such issues with their self-esteem.

Those poor children being left out will feel unloved and those kids receiving all the attention will have an inflated ego.

One thing I do think would be adorable would be a DD buying his DD or DM buying their DS a valentines card. That should be special as it's supposed to be about showing the one you love how much you care and let's be honest, you should love your DC the most.

copperoliver · 14/02/2020 15:03

I agree weird x

Lifeisabeach09 · 14/02/2020 15:06

If this is kid-led, wouldn't bother me. For instance, if a boy wanted to get a Valentine's Day card and small gift for his crush or vice versa. That's about as far as I would assist with.
I wouldn't, as a parent, go OTT with balloons etc. I find Valentine's Day commercial nonsense, tbh.