to not let daughter do cheerleading?

[undercoverfunster]

Am I BU? She's 8, school have a cheerleading club once a week. ( they don't actually cheer a team, just learn routines) Some of the 'cool' girls do it, so now she wants to. I think it's pointless, sexist and outdated. And the 'cool' girls are also the not-very-nice ones in her year, who make fun of her for being in the football team.

She''s a VERY active kid, plays football and tennis competitively, swims, runs, plays basketball. All of which she loves so doesn't need the exercise.

She has tried various 'girls' activities over the years ( to try to keep in with the 'cool' girls) but gets bored of them quickly ( dance, gymnastics, musical theatre, ballet, netball).

I just think cheerleading is shite! And sends the wrong message to girls - don't cheer for the team be IN the bloody team.
And I sure a heck don't want her quitting something useful to try it for 2 months and get bored...

That said, I do see why the OP is hesitant as this squad doesn’t sound like it’s proper All Star cheer, her DD already does tons of sport and hasn’t stuck with any dance or gymnastics clubs she’s done in the past. I think it’s fine to say no if that’s the reasoning.

Quite.

It's dancing with pom poms

Just asked my dd and she said they don't use,them in their class.

LaurieMarlow
Quite.
There's a world of difference between:
"DC wants to try a sport but she's tried many similar sports and not got on with them. AIBU to say no to putting time and money in so quickly after she didn't like similar disciplines"
And
"AIBU to not want to do cheerleading, it's all prancing around cheering the boys. It's sexist and I don't see the point in it. Of course I'm prejudiced against I because I have principles. Look at the NFL cheerleaders. I know nothing about the sport but it's totally a waste of time because she won't do it when she's a grandma"

It’s fine to say no for any reason, the OP doesn’t need MN validation.

But i suspect she was looking for a pile on against cheerleading (for some reason) which she didn’t get.

The OP has said that the 'cheerleading' activity offered at her DD's school is NOT the skilled gymnastics where team members are thrown high into the air with lots of tumbling.
She has In fact emphasised it is the 'all pompoms and cheers' variety.
To bring in an aspect of the activity which is clearly not the same as the type the OPs daughter would be doing is quite irrelevant.
So there's no need for the Gymnastic Cheer brigade to get so defensive because it sounds like the DD would be just be doing the old-fashioned inappropriate, sexist stuff.
I can see why the OP is not happy with DD falling for the idea that this activity is cool because the 'cool girls' do it -- as practiced in her school, it doesn't sound like it would stretch her in the least.

She's a committed athlete and i'd say the cool girls sound as if they are more than a little jealous of her football skill and talent. And i'd make that point to her.

'But i suspect she was looking for a pile on against cheerleading (for some reason) which she didn’t get.'

Of course, nothing to do with whether it actual a bit pointless - it's a conspiracy to diss cheerleading!

There is nothing inherently wrong with dance routines and pom poms though.

And starting like this can presumably lead to the more gymnastic stuff.

I know someone in this squad, not a Pom Pom in sight

m.youtube.com/watch?v=hENSlYAKfS8

Of course, nothing to do with whether it actual a bit pointless

What makes a fun, social, activity ‘pointless’ I wonder?

'That said, I do see why the OP is hesitant as this squad doesn’t sound like it’s proper All Star cheer, her DD already does tons of sport and hasn’t stuck with any dance or gymnastics clubs she’s done in the past.'

yup! that's exactly it. It's 'old school' cheerleading.

I don’t know where we’re getting this distinction between ‘old’ and ‘new’ school. The only problematic aspect of traditional cheerleading is the cheering the boys team bit. Which doesn’t seem to be involved here?

Nothing wrong with dance routines and Pom poms.

Cheerleading clubs don’t tend to be the American type you see on telly. At least not where we are.
It’s more a mix of dance, gymnastics and stunts. My six year old did it for a bit. It wasn’t at all what you’re describing but I didn’t really rate it as it was less disciplined than gymnastics or dance.

Everyone feels differently about what they want for their child. You know you are entitled to feel that you don't want her to do it because you think she's getting into it for the wrong reasons, it's more than you can accommodate and, essentially, you're not keen on her doing something where you feels she's being looked at as a decoration. Unfortunately, as her parent, you also know that if you explain reasons a and b and she's still keen, it's best to let her have a go

Of course, nothing to do with whether it actual a bit pointless

And the point of football?

of course, nothing to do with whether it actual a bit pointless

How do you decide what extra curricular activities are pointless and which aren't? What criteria are you basing it on?

Oops. Too soon.
Let her have a go and make her own mind up. She's excelling in football where she's being valued for her ability.
For what it's worth, my ds has just started cheer at his school. It's very moves focused. He loves it but it could have gone either way as he is the only boy. I felt he might as well give it a go and make his own mind up.

My friends dds wanted to cheer. They also swam in a club. They were ok swimmers. They had previously tried gymnastics.

They are now trying out for the British team. Their skills are amazing. It's a form of dance.

Lots of sports are sexist in a way. But sport is becoming more available to each sex and gender and less aimed separately. There's also lots of boys in the cheers clubs locally here.

Your strong reaction to the pole dancing suggestion shows you relate it to those that use a pole on stage in a sexual manner.

I can assure you there are many pole dancing classes that are used for exercise and core strength.

@85notout yup, nothing but waving pom poms here right. No display of any kind of athleticism at all 🤔

Yabu.
And honestly sound like one of those pita mums who think their dd is superior to other dds because she's choosing traditionally boys sports. So damaging to women.
My Dd does swim club, football (also scouted by a professional team, but she's not very good) and ballet. Ballet is by far the most physically demanding.

Your strong reaction to the pole dancing suggestion shows you relate it to those that use a pole on stage in a sexual manner.';

oh come ON!!! Who suggests pole dancing for an 8 year old!!! What kind of comparison was that anyway??

Is there an ancient, non-sexual history to pole dancing that I'm not aware of? Are boys at Eton being taught this classic sport for exercise and core strength as we speak?

I'm aware than any second someone is going to put up a pole dancing boy video from Youtube...

Is there an ancient, non-sexual history to pole dancing that I'm not aware of?

Indian yoga.

because she's choosing traditionally boys sports. So damaging to women.

football is literally the only 'boy' sport if you even want to call it that, that she does the rest are, as far as I'm aware gender neutral. I can 't help it if I have a daughter who doesn't get on with dance or gymnastics... but loves to swim or chase a ball around,

And honestly sound like one of those pita mums who think their dd is superior to other dds because she's choosing traditionally boys sports.

No she doesn’t. She sounds like the kind of mum who thinks cheering at 8 is a bit of a waste of time given that her DD hasn’t stuck out dancing or gymnastics.