To ask what it's like when your kids grow up

[twelveminutespast]

I have a 10 month old baby boy and he's my first. I just read another thread about OP saying she'd had enough of parenting teens. The thought of my little baby boy growing up into a young man makes me so sad.

I know it's a long way off but time flies

What's it like when your babies grow up? Is it difficult or does it just feel like a natural adjustment? He's my first DC so I've never experienced it before

Following as I have a 3 year old and an almost 2 year old and I often wonder this. I could literally cry when I think of them growing up and moving out etc

You adjust as they grow. It is hard to think of little ones flying the nest but by the time they get there, you're ready.

Very pleasant once you've got used to them having left home.

@Pushpushpoosh Me too!

I can't imagine ever feeling ready for him to leave home. I just want him to stay little forever!

Seeing my DS grow up, get a degree and buy his own home has made me very proud of him. I have, I hope, given him the support and stability to become a well rounded adult, which is, after all, the whole point of having children.

I love being a Mum more than ever now my 18yr old has moved out.
Don't under estimate how difficult the teen years can be.
They will always be your baby, it just changes and adapts, it's still amazing, just different from the baby days.

My 3 children are all now grown up 35, 33 and 30. You now have more time to do all the things that you couldn’t do before. And you get lovely grandchildren that you love just as much as your own children and look forward to seeing them and looking after them if you’re asked to. I look at my children and I’m really proud how lovely they have all turned out. If I’ve achieved nothing else in my life, I’m so pleased that I produced 3 great children, who are now happy, successful adults.

I have teenagers and you adjust as they grow, I couldn’t have imagined them going in to town for the day when they were little but it’s now a common occurrence. We agree to a time to come home, I get a txt to say they are there safely and a txt to say they are on the way home. Our job as parents is to prepare them for life and doing our job correctly means one day they will be ready to leave home. Your relationship with your child changes as they grow and the separation feels natural even if we still worry.

I remember a neighbour telling me when I brought one of my babies home from hospital to remember to enjoy him while hes little, as babies grow so fast & I thought at that time that she obviously had little or no sympathy for me while I was coping with a very unsettled premmie baby.
Fast forward to now, hes 32yrs old - & where did those years go?? - but as he grew so too did my abilities to work more hours, have more interests, & build a life beyond being just that baby's Mum.

You too will get there, & hope too you have too an incredible friendship with your adult child.

I enjoy my adult kids, seeing them as their own families grow, have job changes, travels etc, etc with all of us having this shared history.

Not all skittles though, some years I would have cheerfully traded them all in on a stuffed version of themselves to give us parents some peace.
I read somewhere too online that said teenagers are a parents payback for having sex themselves. Survival mode at times for all of us.

It's lovely! So proud of my two young women, they're amazing! And frankly, so proud of me, to have got this far! (hooray!)
Teen years are a natural, if sometimes incredibly difficult, way of separating our lives from those of our children. I will ALWAYS be fiercely in love and supportive of my beautiful girls, but they are flying solo now, and it's a wonder to.watch...

It's inconceivable when they're tiny, but by the time it happens so much else has happened, that it is quite natural. So much has changed in them. Your parenting changes. Your relationship changes. And gradually you go from being totally responsible for and involved in every aspect of their lives, to letting go.

My dc1 left to go to university last September. There's a gap in the house, but I don't miss him badly. It was time for him to go, and he was ready and eager. Other people will take priority in his life now, not me and his dad. And that's how it should be. We'll always be here for him. He is secure in our love.

And there's WhatsApp, too.

And when ds comes home to visit, oh do I hug him. I hug him so much. And he hugs me back. It's good.

Gosh Wilko I have a lump in my throat readding your post it's made me very emotional. So lovely though!

Honestly OP every time my little one makes a leap it does new things I feel so do proud but a little part of me is so sad they have to grow up so quickly.

Babies and children are sweet but teenagers will give you nightmares. It's wonderful when they become adults and leave the nest. Freedom! I love my kids but but having my house to myself is a whole new world.

I always dreaded having teenagers, but now I do I’m starting to realise that it’s actually a lot easier than having a baby/toddler. Yes, you’re going to miss doing some things, but you can do so much more that you can’t with a small child. Can’t comment on how it feels to watch them move out as mine haven’t yet, but I’m sure they’ll come back and visit often anyway.

My eldest is 9 in a couple of weeks and I just can’t believe how quickly time is flying. If the next 9 years go as quickly as the past 9 years have gone, he’ll be 18 in the blink of an eye

It's fab.
As we get older, we obviously gain more life experience and knowledge. ( Hence why your grandparents always seemed wise )
Once they've all grown up and left home to make their own way in the world, it's wonderful to have one or the other popping their heads round the door with a cheery ' hi mum, hi dad ' or better still, one of the little ones running in with a ' hi nanaaan, grandaad'
In a way, for us anyway, it's like the kids have become our parents and us, their kids with the way they carry on 😂
We chat about absolutely anything and everything, work, world affairs, what their plans are, etc.
When they all land at the same time, that's when my trusty old water boiler gets dragged out of the cupboard due to the requirement of 24 cups of tea/ coffee and 19 beakers of juice. ( Plus several packs of biscuits )
Sometimes it's hard to accept that your children are now adults and making their own decisions in life, sometimes you may think that a decision they make will end in disaster and the hardest thing about that is having to step back, keep your opinion to yourself, unless asked for, and let them get on with it.
It's hard sometimes say if your son is hurt or ill and you have to step back as his wife / partner takes care of him, but step back you must, even though your arms are aching to comfort him.
Different with adult daughters in that respect mostly though. They always send for mum. Well, mine do anyway.
However, that's what you must do.
I used to look at mine as babies and toddlers and wonder what sort of job will they do, what sort of partner will they settle with, whether they will move far away, what will they look like as adults, will they go to university, will they still be close or go their separate ways. All the questions that only time will tell us.
While it's great that they've all grown up, there's times when I wish they were still in their prams, only because at least I knew they were safe and sound 😂

@PassAnotherGlass I found it much harder when they were teens rather than toddler's, due to the worry when they were out, especially when they reached legal drinking age and were out pubbing and clubbing.
More so with the daughters, my word, the sleepless nights me and the husband had with worrying.
Then there's the rows, oh god, the rows. Mainly between the girls over whose nicked whose bloody lippy or something as daft.
Trust me, I'd take a toddler any day 🙂

It’s really a natural adjustment I’ve found. When my eldest (and for that matter my youngest!) were babies I couldn’t imagine what on Earth it would be like to have a child at school, or a 9 year old, etc.

Now my eldest is nearly 14 and I love him more than ever. He’s still my little boy and I feel a pang when I see photos of him as a toddler but I love his company and am so proud when I can see glimpses of the lovely young man he’s becoming. Small kids are just lovely but I am so glad I’m through the other side and much prefer the stage I am now! Youngest is starting high school soon so cannot wait to have no more childcare stresses. I’m loving getting my independence back x

My child is learning disabled and may never become independent enough to fly the nest.

When they are babies and you are up most nights feeding it is almost impossible to imagine a time when you will get a full nights sleep let alone the baby becoming an adult. My babies are all grown up now. Dd is 35, married with 2 ds. So I get to be a nanny which is so much fun. My 2 sons are 33 and 25. They both have jobs and work hard. I am proud of my dc not just when attending graduation ceremonies but lots of little things. My eldest son pays monthly to modern slavery charity and also animal charity. My younger son is also a kind person and will do anyone a favour. None of them smoke, take drugs or drink much and that makes me very thankful. Even when older they still need you, just in a different way, to babysit dgc or to lend money when car engine blows and ds has to buy a new car. It is nice to have a girls day with my dd going shopping and a cinema trip. I also go out for a meal with ds's quite often. I like the adults they have become, happy and confident and I think this all a parent wants for their child.

I have been SO lucky with my 3 Herberts xx Lucky, because I had my children early (23) and he's now in his 30's. Yes, we've had difficulties, serious difficulties, but I always kept the lines of communication open, even before internet shit. They always had 10 p, to make a phone call, were told they could reverse the charges, told to find a police officer (we had them then) and I taught them respect. I hoped I taught them to respect. So much so, when he was 18, and towered above me (4' 11") and I had him pinned up against the wall by his throat, he picked me up and carried me into the living room! CF!!

You can enjoy your children in future, always x just in different ways xx as they grow older, so do you xx you grow together xx you don't lose the connection, it's always there, it just develops more xx younger times are lovely, but so are the older times xx remember, they don't learn from your mistakes, they're too busy making their own xx cherish everything x makes a great Christmas Dinner after speech!! I love it when they all call me "Mother!" a slappable offence xx

@FallenAngel01
when he was 18, and towered above me (4' 11") and I had him pinned up against the wall by his throat, he picked me up and carried me into the living room! CF!!

Eh?! worrying!!
Also something wrong with your phone - random crosses through your second post.

Utterly heartbreaking when they leave home. I'll never get used to it.

I remember walking the halls in the early morning hours with my unsettled premie son. I thought this was going to be my life forever.

23 years later my son is working at Disney as part of the Disney University program. He has traveled the world on his own, meeting people and doing things I never dreamed of ( he also returned from China in the middle of January, so that was a bit heart stopping!)

You never know when it’s the last time you will pick them up or give them a bath. I wish I had known that when my babies were little. I wish I had focused on the every day things instead of worry so much about the future.