To think this gyno exam was weird?

[MellowFruit]

So I went to see a gyno about heavy periods. This is a top consultant with years of experience. When he was doing the pelvic exam he asked me to squeeze his fingers. This happened twice. He commented that I had good pelvic floor muscles. And then (I could have imagined this) but it felt like his fingers moved in and out a few times. Maybe 3-4 times. Is this just a normal part of the test and am I possibly being over sensitive about it? He was professional generally and there was a female chaperone in the room.

If you are concerned, you could speak to PALs or similar at the hospital? To talk it through with someone impartial. But it sounds like you're concerned something was amiss? I hope you're okay.

www.nytimes.com/2018/05/18/health/gynecology-exams-nassar-tyndall.amp.html

The above link tells you what should and shouldn't happen.
What you describe clearly falls under things that shouldn't happen. If he didn't tell you why he was doing something then he needs to be reported. Even if what he did was necessary (and I have no idea it was or not) - he didn't explain himself and left you feeling uncomfortable about it.
Unprofessional at the very least.

no idea if that's normal but something sounds odd.

I’ve had female physio appointments and I’ve been asked to squeeze against a physiotherapists fingers (always female) so it’s not the fact the process itself is wrong.

But, he should’ve explained what he was doing, you should’ve been offered a chaperone to be present and most importantly gained your consent for that specific procedure.

So yes, if you are at all unhappy, please speak to someone

@MabelMoo23 A chaperone was present.

I don't know enough to know if it was normal or not, but it made you feel uncomfortable, and he didn't explain what he was doing, so YANBU.

Good to know mabelmoo- perhaps the whole thing wouldn’t have felt odd if it was a female doctor!

How could you imagine someone putting their fingers in and out you 3 or 4 times?

Where was the female chaperone? Was she watching?

I'm a doctor and have done vaginal examinations. Asking to squeeze is normal as you're testing muscle tone.

Sliding fingers in and out is not (caveat not a Gynae doc so very very possibly this might be acceptable although can't see what info would be gained).

Agree with pp that I'd imagine it's difficult to 'imagine' someone sliding fingers in an out.

During an intimate exam I would always explain (before I did the examination) what to expect and why I was doing it.

I think it's worth speaking with the hospitals complaints department to ask why the examination was done the way it was.

'What if the female chaperone was gay'

Just WTF is that supposed to mean?

I’ve had gynae exams with consultants and they’ve only inserted their fingers once.

What if the female chaperone was gay

What fucking difference would that make?!?

I've had a similar exam with a gynae physio and she asked me to squeeze her fingers and moved them around to check my pelvic floor. But she asked for my permission first and explained everything to me.

You definitely shouldn't have been made to feel uncomfortable during such an intimate exam

And, what if the female chaperone is gay?
Sorry, what? Do you think a lesbian will enjoy seeing a woman being sexually assaulted just because they are attracted to women and not men?

Not saying that's what happened OP, I don't know enough about that type of stuff to comment really.

@FallenAngel01 I’m sorry that happened to you - but a chaperone being gay makes no difference. Incredibly weird comment.

Are you okay @MellowFruit?

@FallenAngel01 And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Ive been going to gynae physio for around 5 months and the first ever examination they asked me to squeeze they then explained that they were going to checking in different directions and then proceeded to this which did feel like moving around down there.

However this was explained to me at the time.

If you feel uncomfortable you can/should go to pals for advice.

The thing is most likely the chaperone isn't closely watching the procedure they are just present really aren't they? Like someone else said I would contact Pals. Or could you get an opinion from another gynae person there to see if this is normal procedure. It doesn't sound like it is tbh OP and if you felt uncomfortable, even if it was correct, there's no harm in finding out just in case. Either way he should be able to justify what he's doing.

I have seen a male gynaecologist (well a urogynaecologist )because of pelvic floor problems and have had the squeeze test. The in and out is a no but there was a lot of prodding at different angles so adjustments in position.

The sliding fingers definetly sound strange/ inappropriate.

Also, if your instincts tell you something is wrong, listen to them. That he’s a top consultant with years of experience doesn’t mean anything. Senior professionals are capable of doing bad things just as much as everyone else of us. Don’t be intimidated by authority and trust more your own gut feeling.

I would ask PALS for advice.

@FallenAngel01
Why would a gay female chaperone be a problem.
Your experience with your father must have been horrendous but please don't assume that every chaperone is a pervert. Your comment about the female chaperone possibly being gay is so homophobic and disgraceful.
I can understand that your personal experiences may have made you distrustful but ffs get a grip.
Sorry @MellowFruit
This does sound a bit odd, but asking you to squeeze his fingers makes sense for him to assess muscle tone. In and out 3 or 4 times seems excessive. I'd agree with others talk to pals and they may be able to help you.

Possibly he was checking from different angles, or checking for masses/prolapse etc? Have you given birth vaginally previously?

Trust your gut and do ask for an explanation as really it should have been explained what he was doing at the time. It does feel within the realms of normal though - from a laypersons pov.