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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this gyno exam was weird?

44 replies

MellowFruit · 12/02/2020 21:26

So I went to see a gyno about heavy periods. This is a top consultant with years of experience. When he was doing the pelvic exam he asked me to squeeze his fingers. This happened twice. He commented that I had good pelvic floor muscles. And then (I could have imagined this) but it felt like his fingers moved in and out a few times. Maybe 3-4 times. Is this just a normal part of the test and am I possibly being over sensitive about it? He was professional generally and there was a female chaperone in the room.

OP posts:

LonginesPrime · 12/02/2020 23:12

And, what if the female chaperone is gay?

Homophobic much @FallenAngel01?

What if a male chaperone is heterosexual?

How is a chaperone's sexuality relevant to whether they're likely to collude in a doctor's potentially inappropriate/abusive behaviour?

Bluerussian · 12/02/2020 23:27

I feel to see how 'squeezing' is necessary at a consultation about heavy periods.

SockQueen · 12/02/2020 23:33

Was he moving his fingers into different areas to feel for masses/fibroids maybe? Was he pressing on your tummy at the same time? This is called a bimanual examination and is part of a normal gynae assessment, but it sounds like it wasn't explained to you well at all.

LangittleClegabbage · 12/02/2020 23:39

I agree with others that the squeezing fingers thing is normal, and is to check your pelvic floor completeness and function, but the in and out thing sounds more unusual. Maybe he was checking for somethimg specific, but he should have explained.

Worse case scenario - he is a pervert, and speaking to PALS will help to expose what he is doing.

Best case scenario - it was a normal exam, and he will be educated on how to explain to patients what he is doing, and why.

Are you worried about needing to see him again?

Whoops75 · 12/02/2020 23:42

Did he rotate his fingers each time? Perhaps feeling the front, back and two sides of your vaginal wall??

If you feel it’s not right talk to someone x

Roozy123 · 12/02/2020 23:47

' (I could have imagined this)'

If you're going to make a complaint or speak it over with someone higher than him I would start with that 1st....
You don't want someone to lose their job or worse over something you state yourself you could have just imagined happened during the test.

TheBigFatMermaid · 12/02/2020 23:54

If it felt weird to you, it was weird. Professionals are trained to reassure you and make you feel safe. If they haven't managed that it may well be because you aren't.

Bourdic · 13/02/2020 00:00

He wouldn’t lose his job without a proper investigation for heavens sake. There’s some good advice on here starting with trust your gut instinct. The best case scenario is that he didn’t explain it properly and he needs some retraining on that. The worst case scenario is that he’s abusing in plain sight and he wouldn’t be the first. Yes start with PALS. Don’t leave it

steff13 · 13/02/2020 00:02

And, what if the female chaperone is gay? Just saying. Why is having a chaperone safer than not? LOL! My Dad was a chaperone, and he was the one abusing me. Chaperones are not necessarily safe, are they? Don't assume anything.

The "chaperones" in my doctor's office is always one of the nurses. Isn't that how it is there, the chaperone is another medical professional, not a random person?

agonyauntie2020 · 13/02/2020 00:03

I think the most sensible advice is to talk to someone - worst case scenario he gets some training on how to explain procedures to patients.

Gay chaperones - dearie me. I am sorry you were abused by your father, but that's got nothing to do with the sexuality of the chaperone.

AngstyAnnie · 13/02/2020 00:11

Sounds in the realm of normal to me OP. I've also had the "squeeze test" and internal exams often feel like they're sliding in and out/rummaging about a bit!

If you still feel something's off, of course you should go with your instinct and contact the relevant department but just to reassure you that it does sound normal - to me anyway!

Blimeyoreilly2020 · 13/02/2020 00:13

Female gynaecologist has asked me to squeeze their fingers....and then told me how lacking in strength my pelvic floor was😳😔...I know at least that part is normal (& my reason for being there was irregular bleeding). I would guess they were checking for any other abnormality that might be the cause but if you do feel concerned speak to someone/Pals about it.

managedmis · 13/02/2020 00:16

Rather odd

Aloe6 · 13/02/2020 00:30

It does sound weird. The sliding fingers in and out bit. If nothing else he should have forewarned and explained it to you.

Durgasarrow · 13/02/2020 00:51

This does sound a bit odd, especially if you were going there for heavy menses.

VenusTiger · 13/02/2020 00:55

I have read FallenAngels post and I think she has not written what she meant to say.... the OP said perhaps the whole thing wouldn't have felt odd if it was a female doctor and I think Fallen was trying to suggest that, if the OP thinks the gyno was a pervert, then females are also capable of being perverts too and you shouldn't trust them solely on being female. I disagree though Fallen that you suggested being a lesbian should suggest you're a pervert ffs!

Original poster

MellowFruit · 13/02/2020 00:55

Thanks for good advice as ever !
I think it sounds ok, I suspect the moving around was probably part of checking each side and each angle. Guess I’m not used to that but who is! I should add that I’m fine and not traumatised by it, just wondered if this was usual procedure. Thank you x

OP posts:

dontgobaconmyheart · 13/02/2020 02:48

Were there any concerns about pelvic floor OP? Painful sex etc.

I've had quite a few gynae internal examinations (from men and women) and have had that quite a few times - in the context of general gynae issues and the investigation of them- the pelvic floor has several areas of muscle in it and it can be quite difficult to locate certain areas of prolapse or the cervix, feel the womb etc so have definitely had the doctors/physio 'look' by doing what feels like in and out. Generally they check each side internally and push inward for any abnormalities, then push down into pelvic muscles, ask you to tighten or loosen or cough etc.

If you feel concerned then do speak to PALS. I've only ever had one cause to complain and that was not a gynae appointment. A rheumatologist asked if my knees hurt, ran his hands up my thighs and asked "and what is your sex life like, do you have sex often". The appointment was for nothing remotely relating to that and there was no chaperone.

Note to self, always have a chaperone. Hope you're ok OP.

Unchartedsea · 13/02/2020 21:50

@MellowFruit
I am a doctor and worked in gynae for a year and have qualified as a GP and have done loads of internal vaginal examinations.
TBH this sounds weird to me. Why was he testing your pelvic floor strength when you went with heavy periods? Maybe there is a reason you haven’t mentioned. Also commenting on your pelvic floor strength during the examination when not previously discussed or explained is strange.
I can’t explain why you would feel his fingers going on and out several times either.

Of course there may be an explanation that becomes obvious with further information gathering. But if what you described happened to me I would not be comfortable at all.

If you have a trustworthy GP perhaps you could describe the doctors actions to them and discuss it further if that might be helpful for you? I would definitely consider talking to PALs too.

Of course it might be innocent but it could also be, as a previous poster mentioned, that he is abusing in plain site.

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