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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how you knew you were in love

36 replies

Whateveryoudoordontdo · 12/02/2020 20:50

Rather than infatuated or obsessed or flattered by the attention or carried away with the excitement. What makes being in actual love different from the other emotions?

And were you right? Did it stand the test of time?

OP posts:

BlueBirdGreenFence · 12/02/2020 21:06

Partly because she's the only person I know inside and don't love despite her faults. I love her fully including her faults if that makes sense. Also if I thought of being stranded on a desert island for the next 50 years with just her, I would be happy with that. Every single other person in the world would make me want to be a cannibal after a month of non stop contact even if I think they're fab generally. We'll be married 5 years and I'm every bit as enamoured as I was at the start.

mumtomaxwell · 12/02/2020 21:13

When I thought I’d messed it up and he was going to finish with me! I was distraught. We’d been together about 6 months I think.

Been together 17 years this year, married 13. I love him so deeply, but I’m not infatuated! Can’t imagine the horror of life without him.

Kittenbittenmitten · 12/02/2020 21:15

You just know. You get butterflies when you see them, you feel high on fresh air. You can't stop having sex, they look gorgeous from every angle, you know they have faults but it doesn't seem to matter. You want to be with them all the time, you can't imagine how you lived without them and you can't conceive of afuture which doesn't include them

elQuintoConyo · 12/02/2020 21:27

When you move country together, twice, and they haven't driven you mad!

Together 22 years, married 10.

Pleasegodgotosleep · 12/02/2020 21:54

Met for the first time and I found myself thinking "ah there you are", I recognised him and felt like I'd just been waiting for him. Together 6 years, married 5, 2 dd. Not been a long time in the scheme of things but we've gone through family illness and death, redundancy, 2 career changes, 2 house moves and 2 kids. C9uldnt have done it without each other. He's my best friend.

TowerRavenSeven · 12/02/2020 22:00

Felt like I had always known him. I didn’t worry about getting married, I knew we would. When away from him felt like part of me was gone too. Together 23 years, married almost 20.

Ohyesiam · 12/02/2020 22:24

It felt like I recognised him, like I’d been waiting but I didn’t know what for, and when I met him I recognised it was him. Something deep in me became still and was at peace.

puds11 · 12/02/2020 22:31

Very similar to @TowerRavenSeven. Felt like I had always known him. Like there wasn’t a time before him. I had no nerves or worries about marrying him and I’d do it again if I could! He lifts me up and I’m a better person for knowing him.

IanSomerhalderIsAGod · 12/02/2020 22:37

When it's bad and your just surviving, your good times make it worth it.
Long term love is like any relationship, did you always get on with your parents or siblings when you lived with them? No, well it's the same for anyone.
Sometimes you won't get on, just don't give up when the going gets tough.

disneybee · 13/02/2020 23:52

When I sat across the table from him on one of our first dates and I knew this was the face I always want to see across the dinner table from me ☺️

Together 8 years married 5, he really fucking infuriates me at times but I'm sure I infuriate him too.

Astella22 · 14/02/2020 00:39

Im just drawn to being with him, when he isn’t around I miss him. I just feel like we were ment to be like I’d been waiting for him to arrive in my life.

GrimDamnFanjo · 14/02/2020 00:42

I went through all the reasons we shouldn't be together and concluded that none were enough for us not to be.

foreverhungry2409 · 14/02/2020 00:52

When I could cry for hours at the thought of losing him. Wanting to cook and clean for him (I'm normally messy as hell and would prefer a takeaway any day).

ChimpyChops · 14/02/2020 00:54

As someone else said, when I first saw him I thought 'ah, there you are'.

It is quite honestly nothing like I've ever felt, even 8 years in. We have bad times, arguments, frustrations but he is still the only one I could ever see myself with and couldn't be without.
And I still fancy him like mad! 😂

Damnloginpopup · 14/02/2020 00:58

Enjoying their farts almost as much as your own.

OrangeSlices998 · 14/02/2020 01:02

When I told him about my MH struggles and he was so kind and understanding I knew I was in love. Have never felt it before

Nojeansplease · 14/02/2020 01:06

It just wasn’t difficult
No games
No messing around
It was like we already knew each other and had total faith that he would be there for me whatever I needed.
He’s the person I want to tell about everything.
We’ve survived so much together. He makes me approach my life in a whole new ways and after years I’m still excited every single day to go home to him.

BitOfFun · 14/02/2020 01:29

I just knew as soon as we met, like I almost recognised him. He says it was the same for him.

Fifteen years together, barely a cross word.

Original poster

Whateveryoudoordontdo · 19/02/2020 23:40

I thought this hadn't posted for some reason so only reading now. What lovely, happy stories. I'm might be about to start my own love story. I hope so...

OP posts:

TiddyTid · 19/02/2020 23:46

He is far from perfect but neither am I. Love the bones of him, his smell, his smile, his weirdness. Still fancy the pants off him and can be completely and utterly myself. We really are made for each other.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 19/02/2020 23:48

When I thought about him every moment when we were apart. When I blushed at that thinking of him, and could not stop. When I knew that whatever it would take we would be together. It no longer seemed possible - or even an option - not to be together.

Still feel the same. I could live without him, but would not want to.

We are now in our 40th year of marriage, after a whirlwind romance. They said it would never last. It may not - don't count your chickens and all that :)

CastleCrasher · 19/02/2020 23:52

Like others have said, it was almost like I already knew him. I was NOT looking for a relationship, never mind "the one" but found myself looking at this guy certain that he was it for me. We weren't even together at that point! He says it was the same for him. 20 years and 2dc later, still very happy!

Bella2020 · 19/02/2020 23:55

We'd been seeing each other for about 3 weeks (but had known each other as friends for a couple of years) and he was overseas on a work trip. I missed him so much and we ran up big mobile bills as we just couldn't have no contact! That's when I knew we had something special and that I loved him. 12 years on we're married and I am grateful every day that I have him in my life and that he loves me, too.

Dumbledoresgirl · 19/02/2020 23:59

Everything felt easy, nothing had to be questioned, I wanted to be with him all the time, seeing him always made me smile.
Together 30 years.

Queenest · 20/02/2020 00:06

Lovely thread

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