DH suddenly an incompetent cook

[DinnersReady]

I don't know what has gotten into the man but all of a sudden he is in need of explicit instructions when it comes to food

What are we eating? Where are the tins? What do you put into this dish? Where is the spaluta?

He seems to have lost any ability he had to think independently or use Google. He was fine last year. What on earth is this sudden helplessness?

I, of course, am doing the mature thing and hiding upstairs in the bedroom while he stomps around and slams kitchen cupboards.

Are you pregnant?

Er, no? What does that have to do with anything?

Bloody hell, calm down. 😂 I had a reason for the question but I’ll leave you to your own devices before I get my head bitten off.

Are you less than a year married, then? 😉

I am calm I asked why you were asking. I don't think that's biting anyone's head off.

@mantarays could your DH also do nothing right when you were pregnant?!

How old is he?

“What does that have to do with anything” is quite confrontational, really. You’re here asking for advice and thoughts, so probably best to keep the snark out of it. Anyway, good luck.

I would tell him I was very, very worried about him and thought he should see a doctor, because he can't do now what he could do a few weeks ago and that's a symptom of dementia.

It’s because men can start declaring incompetence (as well as becoming abusive, controlling etc) when a woman is pregnant. Or within a year of marriage, or when a baby arrives.

Have you asked him what’s up ?

I don't think the OP was being terribly confrontational

I tend to respond to those sort of queries with "I don't know dear, do what you think best", or "ooh I don't know, why don't you have a look" etc etc.

I find that sort of feckless inability to take any responsibility very irritating. Just immediately shift the burden back to him.

Mantarays, it did seem an odd question!😅 Perhaps putting the reason for asking in your post would have helped.

Stay put, OP. He probably wants you to take over. We'll just hope that he doesn't use every pan and bowl in the kitchen so that clearing up afterwards takes all night.

Topseyt

Maybe. Still no reason to be so chippy!

Mantarays if you've had a bad day, have a rest. Dont be so unpleasant.

Op, ignore him. He clearly doesnt want to have to do any thinking. Stamp this out now or youll be stuck with ‘the mental load’ of doing all the thinking for you both, building up the resentment.

I’m not being unpleasant, I was trying to help. I won’t bother in future. Jesus, this place! 😂

@mantarays
Must be exhausting taking offence at perfectly normal questions
Do you usually assume that normal remarks are confrontational ?

@mantarays
You told the OP to calm down and then called her a snark and got stroppy. Because she asked a perfectly normal question!
But you think you're trying to be helpful
I don't think it's is that are misreading this situation!

I think what mantarays meant was that some men become lazy / incompetent when you’re pregnant because they know you won’t leave them or they think they’ve got you tied down.

OP was not being confrontational though.

Mantarays relax! Come back...

I think it would have been more polite to say no, but I’m interested in your logic. Or many alternative wordings.

I didn’t call her a snark. I said the snark isn’t helpful when people are responding to a request for advice. And it isn’t. There was no reason for the OP to speak to me as she did and I pointed it out, that’s all.

Few messages in and this has taken a weird turn.

Have you been cooking more lately? Does he do the food shopping? I've noticed that my bf cannot cook basic things that I've bought to the fridge. But if he buys the stuff then he is able to do them.

OP, don’t worry, mantarays has been ‘controversial’ on other threads today. She’s trying to get a rise out if you.

Sounds like he’s trying to make a point about something. The point being, that you’re meant to feel guilty about not helping him.

Otherwise, it could be early onset dementia.

Pooh

I was genuinely and only trying to help the OP. That’s not an attempt to be “controversial”. Please leave other threads out of this, it’s not very polite to do what you are doing.