Not realising how much cleaning a house takes?

[Hahaha88]

Growing up our house was always clean and tidy. Sunday was cleaning day and we'd all have a job, the whole house got hoovered, dusting was done, bathroom cleaned, beds changed and bins emptied.
It wasn't until I was an adult with my own house that I realised how much extra cleaning my mum (single parent, not sexisim) must have done when we were at school etc. There are so many cleaning things I didn't realise I would need to do! Like cleaning kitchen cupboard doors and drawers, inside the fridge, house doors, light switches, skirting boards and windowsills etc. Aibu in not knowing about all this? I don't even know how people keep on top of it! I feel like it takes so much effort to keep the place nice.

It wasn't really awful at the time - it was just normal to me. I only think it's weird now I have dc. I can't imagine prioritising cleaning over them. But in the 70s when I was born it was pushed to keep your house and your man happy and children second. My Nans considered housework their jobs and left the children to their own devices while they got on with 'work'.

I really struggle to keep on top of the housework here for a few reasons, 1) the house is huge and old - I never really appreciated how dirty and dusty it would get. 2) Stuff - DH is borderline hoarder and moved a lot of his parents things into our house after MIL died. We've had cleaners before and they've told me the house will never be clean or tidy because we have too much stuff. I hate it and feel as tho i'm drowning under it. 3) DH and the kids - I don't ask them to do any cleaning or tidying as such, just don't make it worse. But every single time I walk into one of the 3 bathrooms there is a dirty toilet to clean, wet towels, clothes on the floor etc The amount of laundry is 2-3 loads a day. Just laundry, shopping, cooking and general surface tidying of the kitchen and living areas takes me all day and it still looks like the house has been ransacked!

On Thursdays I have a cleaner for 4 hours and while dd is at preschool we both clean the house (so that's about 6-7 hours of cleaning). But it never looks tidy because of the stuff and then the others come home and within 24 hours it is a shit hole again.

DS2 says he wants to move to another house that is tidy, but he doesn't want to actually tidy it. Don't we all!

MrsKoala, would your husband consider having a sort out of his parents things? Although I don't believe in forcing someone to get rid of stuff especially sentimental things. My OH has been a hoarder, but after a big sort out I'm not letting it happen again! Good idea you having a cleaner.

MrsKoala, of course you don't want your own children to have the same childhood you did, but you might have taken it too much to the other direction, if they even leave their skidmarks for you to scrub. That's just disrespectful.

I'm sure Marie Kondo book has been recommended already - it really helps to keep things clean if you have les stuff. Could you have a family meeting and agree to declutter all together?

It's not the children Katharina! It's my H. I've recently convinced H to clear some broken stuff from the garage to the tip (btw it's not just a few things we are talking 4 brass beds, sofas, dining sets, about 20 chairs. Our bedroom has 21 vases in it. about 50 Victorian oil lamps, paintings...) so I will be boxing up some china which takes all the space in the utility room (meaning I have little kitchen storage space) and putting that in the garage. The cellar is full to bursting. Every surface is covered in knick knacks and ornaments. The thing is before mil died we lived fairly minimally - I hate ornaments and things like that. It's been 5 years this July and the speed of sorting it all out is glacial.

When I say I want some of it removed from the bedroom he will say well tell me what you want to put in its place and I say NOTHING! I just want clear surfaces!!! He looks at me like I've grown 2 heads. The other day under the guise of a gift for our anniversary he bought a 1970s floor lamp. It's almost as tall as me and is about 2ft wide. its just sitting in the middle of our bedroom. It does not go with anything at all. Then he acts all hurt because I am being ungrateful for his thoughtful present. Bullshit. Sorry for the derailment. I'm just ranting now

Oh wow MrsKoala. I don't think that's borderline, that's a full hoarder.

@MrsKoala I would seriously lose my shit. If my house is messy and cluttered so is my mind.

@MrsKoala, aah, yes my OH does that - looks at me like I've got two heads - when I say I want clear surfaces. I also want furniture that can be either easily moved or enough room underneath to clean under. I'm not overly fussy just fed up with the struggle when things have to be moved to clean under, which means not that often, but makes me cringe what's lurking under these things! Anyway, that's one heck of a hoard you got there.

My mum kept a super clean house and tries to take over when she come to mine. She would never say so but I can tell that it is not to her exacting standards. She was a sahm, I work part time and have two toddlers so find it silly to compare. I tidy, do dishes, put them away, wipe surfaces, brush, hover or mop the kitchen floor and hoover the whole house everyday. I dust once a week but dust everywhere as we have white walls in a lot of the rooms and white skirting boards which just seem to collect dust. I also do the grooves of the top of the radiators as more recently I have noticed they are dusty ( previously not done as I didn't realise this was a thing). I do laundry set days a week as I do not want to come home from work to put laundry out to dry and fold and puck up clothes. That is saved for my days off. I used to iron bedding but have more recently given up on that. I clean the insides of my windows at least 2-3 times a year and will do so when spring finally starts. I clean the fridge once a week, the outside of the cupboards and the microwave once a week too. Dh is good at helping with the day to day cleaning. We have carpets upstairs which are washed once a year.

I try and keep as tidy as I can but between my DH and our dog things soon get messy again!

I would love a new build house. My sister’s house looks so easy to keep clean and tidy where as mine always seems to need something doing. Our fireplace is always creating dust and our kitchen is always clean but never looks appealing. (Think old kitchen, broken cupboard door handles, dated tiles, massive boiler on the wall).

On the back of this thread, I cleaned all the inside doors today and the inside window sills.

It's the washing everywhere that gets me down and my tumble drier in the garage isn't very good so the washing ends up hanging around for ages indoors. Makes my life hell as how can four people produce so much of it? But we do.
The top of doors is also a huge dust magnet!
It is soul destroying keeping on top of cleaning at times it goes on and on.

We built our house 2 years ago & the white skirting is already wrecked with hoover, kids toys etc. And shows up every speck of dust.

We had oak in our last home & was cleaned once a year lol

White nice when new, rubbish when lived in

I find keeping the house clean really gets on top of me!! I feel like a new build would be so much easier to keep clean...I envision myself in one being like one of these insta mums with an immaculate white and grey house full of tat from the B&M sparkly isle.

If I hoover I give the top of the skirting boards a quick wipe with a baby wipe tbf!!

I only give things a rough surface clean. I have a wonderful cleaner who does it properly. Yanbu. It's tedious as shit.