Not realising how much cleaning a house takes?

[Hahaha88]

Growing up our house was always clean and tidy. Sunday was cleaning day and we'd all have a job, the whole house got hoovered, dusting was done, bathroom cleaned, beds changed and bins emptied.
It wasn't until I was an adult with my own house that I realised how much extra cleaning my mum (single parent, not sexisim) must have done when we were at school etc. There are so many cleaning things I didn't realise I would need to do! Like cleaning kitchen cupboard doors and drawers, inside the fridge, house doors, light switches, skirting boards and windowsills etc. Aibu in not knowing about all this? I don't even know how people keep on top of it! I feel like it takes so much effort to keep the place nice.

I live in and old damp house which is a dust magnet...

I also have pets and children...

I have learnt to lower my standards

Most days I’m happy if I get get a load of washing done, the dishwasher on and maybe run the dyson round.

YANBU. I had no idea either! I was ridiculously neat as a child so would tidy my room a lot, obsessively so at one point. When I moved out into student accommodation I was much too busy to look at how dirty the place got. Next flat I ended up with 4 cats so it was always hairy. Moved again, and it was my DP, the cat and myself and noone was fussy about how the place looked. It wasn't until we had DC and moved to our current home I realised how filthy a house gets! This is our first proper size house instead of a flat or shoebox 1 bed house, and I'm still amazed at how dirty it gets, and how my mum must have cleaned loads when I lived with my parents (she was a SAHM whilst my dad worked long hours).
I keep on top of things now by doing little and often when I have an opportunity. Wait for the kettle to boil, wipe down the sink. Put child in bath, clean the bathroom around them whilst chatting and singing. Put the ironing board up with a load of clothes and fold a stack when I have 5 mins. It helps I'm a SAHM and my youngest goes to preschool every morning so I have more time available. There's so many jobs other than cleaning that I need to do though, so keeping the place clean is still difficult! Decluttering, tidying, house admin, gardening, painting, small repairs etc mean that at least I'm never bored!
I've found that having a good cleaning spray and cloths available mean I will clean little bits more often than when I only have all purpose cleaner that has to be diluted in a bucket of water- too much work! I'd clean kitchen cupboards etc as and when needed, sweep skirting boards as I go along. I'm painting my living room now, so when I move furniture I clean behind it and wipe skirting boards. I don't go out of my way to clean them regularly!

YANBU. Most people (and paid cleaners for that matter) tend to go on automatic pilot and do the same things over and over without ever varying the routine or maybe once a month making sure they do an extra job to the usual, like skirting boards or under behind beds/under sofas or whatever.

Pretty soon those houses can get a bit minging even if the visable and obvious stuff gets done regularly.

I know the feeling! As a kid our house was immaculate! I don't know how my mum did it? Less stuff? Higher standards? She worked full time too?!

Depends on the style of house too.

I live in a georgian house complete with fireplaces, in most rooms, sash windows and wooden floors. This wind means I have to hoover and wipe window sills daily and all the crap just blows down the chimneys etc.
The lovely moulded skirtings and paneled doors need a wipe at least once a month too as they are a magnet for dust.

I have low standards! I was speaking to a friend yesterday who was shocked to hear that I have never cleaned behind the fridge.

We also redecorate every two years so things look fresh

Fucking hell. The environmental impact of that is just disgraceful.

You know what no one ever told me? That when you paint with white vinyl emulsion it turns yellow if not exposed to lots of sunlight. I repainted my hallway woodwork and skirting and its all turned a horrible yellow colour...we're not smokers, it just doesn't get enough sunlight. The thing is I go to other people's houses and their skirting is always bright white. How? Are they all secretly repainting it every month?

@Youhedge there's always one eh? I offset it by not talking many flights. Does that help? If not, I don't give a flying fuck what you think about what I do in my own house. Just like I couldn't care less if yours is a tip

I agree that MN cleaning levels are ridiculously high.

I think there’s probably a bit of a reality gap between what posters claim and what they actually do. These type of threads always turn into a competition on here. A bit like claiming to put the heating on only when the temperature drops below 5 degrees C or being completely full after eating half a tomato and two slices of cucumber.

My ex MIL was a judgemental mare. I used to pretend she was about to call in unexpectedly. Got me motivated at super speed to clean (no kids so was always tidy... ). She never came but my home was good for the weekend. Win win!!

I don't know how FT working mums do it. Especially the single ones. I know a lot have cleaners and I don't blame them!

I'm a LP, SAHM. I have to grit my teeth when people talk about all this "time to myself". Today one of my DS's 6 hour Nursery days. I've done all the washing up and dried it (really hoping to get a 2nd hand dishwasher for my birthday!) put it all away, done all the food shop for half term, put it all away. Having a and a MN before I start on all the piles of washing, hoovering and tea preparing and then it's the school run. It is dismal. Tomorrow is cleaning the bathroom, washing and drying the bedding and my UC appointment which is 10 miles away (no car) for them then to say "how you doing, your OH still not paying maintenance or showing an interest? No one else to help? Yeah, that must be hard, ah cool you're signed onto a course for when your youngest starts school, okay see you in 2 weeks". See I can't wait until I'm a FT student and getting out of the house every day in September but I need a clean/tidy house for my sanity and I am dreading what state the house will be in! I need to lower my standards but even a bit of mess/dirt winds me up!

I agree that MN cleaning levels are ridiculously high.

Like everything else on MN, you see extreme ends of any spectrum. Some people are not happy unless you are bleaching your kitchen floor daily and you use all bath towels once then set fire to them.

Others will tell you they vacuum once a year and change their bedsheets once every three months, and will swear their house is fresh as a daisy.

^^ EX not OH obviously! need another coffee clearly.

"Honestly mental health improves when you look round a room that's spotless and clean"

Mine doesn't . I couldn't care less about less than perfect homes. Never have, never will.

I was speaking to a friend yesterday who was shocked to hear that I have never cleaned behind the fridge.

I watched sadly as two pieces of cucumber rolled off my hob, down the back of my oven last week. Having only just some weeks ago pulled it out to sweep the mountain of crumbs out, they're going to stay there a while!

As soon as I can afford it - I am hiring a cleaner

I do laundry and dishwasher everyday. Ironing is done in big batch at a weekend and everyone puts their own stuff away. Kitchen sides get wiped everyday whilst I'm cooking. I hoover stairs every week/two weeks. Beds are changed weekly/fortnightly - more often if soiled (I watch TV in bed and tend to nibble).
Everything else is done when I have time/can be bothered/looks grubby. I dont dust as I have asthma

I probably should wash my floors more often - meh

Honestly mental health improves when you look round a room that's spotless and clean

If any of my rooms are like that it means my mental health is poor. The only times in my life I have been obsessive over cleaning were when everything else in my life was out of control. Excessive cleaning was one thing within my control. Now I'm happy, I'm no longer obsessive over it. My house is clean enough and tidy enough but it isn't spotless. That's an indicator to me that I'm well.

I think people are harder on themselves than is real. Most people's houses that I go into are broadly clean and tidy. There might be a bit of mess (usually children related) and I guess if I looked hard I'd find dirty skirting boards or behind the toilet unclean but honestly, day to day cleanliness is really just about ensuring main surfaces and floors are relatively clean. Our bathrooms usually only get cleaned once weekly and that's where I really notice it and find myself doing quick semi wipe downs or tossing some harper down the toilet to tide them over.

I think with pets the secret is regular sweeping and vacuuming. DH is brilliant about sweeping downstairs but we only vacuum weekly and I can't wait to get a robot vacuum because there's no way we'll be vacuuming more often even though quite frankly, it needs it!

My house is too big to keep perfectly clean the whole. I do have a cleaner. I only clean things like cupboards and skirting boards if I look at them and think they are dirty

I have two days where all my three children are now at school or nursery.

I foolishly fa tasked about having two days to do stuff like go for a coffee at my leisure, walk the dog, go swimming, read a book.
In reality I spend two days flogging myself cleaning the house and deep cleaning two rooms such as the kitchen or playroom. It is a thankless since the next day it looks as though I didn’t bother. At all.

I can’t wait to go back to work and pay a cleaner.

OP, having said that - I do think you're right about there being more that you don't necessarily realise. DH does the bulk of our "proper" cleaning, but I honestly am not sure he even knows there's a filter in the dishwasher that needs cleaning or that the doors need a dust down every now and again as they collect dust or that the kitchen cupboards need to be wiped at least every couple of weeks etc. And it did take him a while of being the one in charge of cleaning before he accepted that general dusting was part of the weekly tasks! So from that perspective, YADNBU.

Wiping the handles of the fridge and freezer doors, and the handles on 2 particular drawers - as DD manages to get food-covered hands all over them, ALL THE TIME!! She's not a baby anymore, she's 14, but has suddenly become much more interested in making food and is very messy.

Have found the older the houses I have lived in the dirtier they get. I have an open plan place, so I dont want to see (or others to see) the kitchen at the end of the lounge, messy. Have 2 dogs, so yes, damp dusting weekly, windowsills,skirting boards, most days.TV and static surfaces, look dusty in a day, facing south, you can see all the dust. Meant to vacuum daily, usualy truely, 5 times a week, because of 2 long haired dogs. Wonder why they arent bald! Bath,basin daily, loo, several times a day, (perhaps it doesnt ge a messy if you are out at work all day.

I think it depends where you live, who you live with, what your floors are, what your layout is, what your fixtures and fittings are like etc.

The worst I ever experienced was in a third floor apartment in a coastal town in the Med with patio doors. Within a few hours, the floors were covered with a very fine gritty sand. It drove me bonkers.

Back here in the UK, I have hard floors everywhere. The downside of this is that the skirting boards get covered with dust because it doesn't get trapped in any carpet fibres. Upside is I never have to spend hours trying to remove coffee stains from a bedroom carpet.

You win some; you lose some.