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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this a crap Valentine's day "gift"?

36 replies

just5morepeas · 12/02/2020 09:47

My partner and myself don't usually swap pressents, just get a pizza and watch a film. And he's hard to buy for and never wants anything.

But I want to show him how much I appreciate him so thought I would secretly tidy/organise his office, which has become a complete dumping ground for junk. (Kids toys, old clothes, etc) I won't be throwing anything away that belongs to him btw or going thru his filling cabinets or anything just tidying, cleaning and maybe buy a few plants, pictures, etc to brighten it up.

Is this a good idea? I'm just doubting myself now and worried he'll just be a bit unimpressed. Like, I've just cleaned and tidied - so what?!

OP posts:
TheMemoryLingers · 12/02/2020 09:49

I'd be delighted if someone did this for me (as long as none of my own things were thrown out).

youareacuntychops · 12/02/2020 09:51

I think it's a really nice idea.
I don't know if I'd call it a valentines present but it's a lovely think to do.

RhymingRabbit3 · 12/02/2020 09:53

I wouldn't say it's a valentine's present it's just a nice thing to do. Can you just do it as a nice gesture but not call it a gift, otherwise your partner might be embarrassed that he didn't get you anything in return.

LettertoHermoine · 12/02/2020 09:55

Absolutely lovely idea!

1066vegan · 12/02/2020 09:56

I agree that it's a nice thing to do (especially as you're going to be careful not to throw any of his stuff out) but think that you should separate it from Valentine's day.

Billyeyelash · 12/02/2020 10:01

I think it's a brilliant idea. if you think your partner would be delightly surprised - just do it. Worst result is he goes "eh WTF?" and you have a tidy office.

Brazi103 · 12/02/2020 10:01

It's a nice thing to do but isnt a gift or present really. Just clean it because you want to do something nice. I'm sure he will appreciate it alot.

Billyeyelash · 12/02/2020 10:02

Why can't it be seen as a Valentines Day gift?

LtJudyHopps · 12/02/2020 10:03

I’d maybe tidy it up for him. But personally I’d hate someone organising my things for me.
Get a thoughtful/personal card

Badabingbadabum · 12/02/2020 10:03

I would do that and leave a really cheesy card from his secret tidiying admirer or something!

puds11 · 12/02/2020 10:06

It depends. I’d hate it, but can see that others would like it. Is he happy with having his stuff moved around / touched? I mean if someone did it for me I’d obviously thank them but I’d rather they didn’t do it.

Newmetoday · 12/02/2020 10:09

I’d hate that. I’d think that you were wanting to snoop

Original poster
just5morepeas · 12/02/2020 10:16

I’d think that you were wanting to snoop

Lol, it's my house and the office isn't locked. If I really wanted to "snoop" I wouldn't need an excuse to do it! He's out at work all day, he'd never know! Wink

Thanks for the replies everyone, might not call it a Valentine's gift but will get on with the tidy up I think.

OP posts:
Flufferbum · 12/02/2020 10:19

Maybe do that and to sweeten the deal buy him his fav alcohol and fav sweets/chocs? And maybe a little tshirt or something he would like if finances permit it!

Pardonwhat · 12/02/2020 10:22

I think it’s lovely.
A nice personal gesture to show him you appreciate him. Isn’t that what’s it’s about?

PurpleDaisies · 12/02/2020 10:22

I would absolutely hate this. I like to know where all my things are (and I do, even in a mess), and I’d feel a mix of embarrassed, angry and patronised that someone felt they should tidy my personal space.

Pardonwhat · 12/02/2020 10:23

PurpleDaisies

I’m guessing OP knows her DH enough to know that he doesn’t think like that.

puds11 · 12/02/2020 10:23

@PurpleDaisies I’d be the same. However I’d be ok with the removal of things that clearly shouldn’t be there like children’s toys, empty cup etc.

Oxfordnono12 · 12/02/2020 10:23

I think it's a lovely idea. But if it's his office then he would have things sitting in places he knew where to find them. Bit like his organized mess.

Could maybe you suggest you'll organise it?

PurpleDaisies · 12/02/2020 10:23

She’s posted on here asking for opinions pardon. I’m guessing that means she isn’t sure.

Pardonwhat · 12/02/2020 10:25

PurpleDaisies

She was asking if it was a naff idea, not whether he’d feel embarrassed, angry or patronised!

PurpleDaisies · 12/02/2020 10:28

I think it’s a naff idea because he may well feel embarrassed, angry or patronised.

Other posters have said they wouldn’t be keen on this. I’m not sure why you have taken such an issue with my opinion.

Randomname85 · 12/02/2020 10:29

I think it’s a lovely idea and very thoughtful.

Damntheman · 12/02/2020 10:30

You know him best OP! Is he the type who would appreciate this? I know that I need some warning if DH is planning on tidying a space that's predominantly mine or reorganising something. Otherwise I just find it upsetting to have my space suddenly changed.

Damntheman · 12/02/2020 10:31

Perhaps you could make him a voucher instead with the offer the tidy/clean job on it? That would be the requisite pre-warning that I'd need and then I'd be psyched about it!