To leave new senior management role because life is too short

[Guccidowntothesocks]

I started a new job in senior management for a private company two weeks ago. Previously held a similar position in the public sector for many years and accepted this opportunity because of the significant pay rise on offer. I absolutely hate it. Thrown straight in at the deep end with huge responsibility and no support or training whatsoever. Since my first day I’ve been absolutely bombarded with an unmanageable amount of work to do. In addition to the volume, the work is far more complex than I’m used to and I can only conclude that I’m not as competent/experienced as I thought I was in the field. My manager is based at the other end of the country so I have no direct support. The management colleagues I sit with in the office have not been at all welcoming, so spend most of my day in silence, which feels very isolating.

I realise now that I have made a terrible mistake leaving my previous role, which was stress free, I was good at it and I worked with lovely bunch of people. I now spend my working days feeling anxious each time yet another email comes in to my inbox. With each day that goes by I seem to be receiving more and more work through and not only is there far too much to manage, it feels beyond my level of capability. I have barely slept over the last two weeks worrying about the expectations of my role and the volume and complexity of work. I left the office at the end of the day today in tears and have reached the point where I don’t feel I can continue.

WIBU to leave straight away so that I can miss this off of my CV, start job hunting again and just put it down to a lesson learnt? DH is insisting that to leave after such a short time without at least finding another job first would be career sabotage, but I’m not sure I can stay long enough to find another job, in fact I can barely bring myself to go in tomorrow

Any advice/opinions would be gratefully received.

Could you afford to leave without another job lined up?
If so, yes. Life is too short. Some companies might raise an eyebrow at your short stay there but you could just explain it wasn’t a good fit. Jobs shouldn’t make you poorly.

@Sparklesocks yes we could afford it as DH’s salary covers all of our outgoings.

Leaving the public sector for the private sector can be a bit of shock I think. I did it and felt like you for the first year. If you can afford it then yes. If not then I agree with your husband. Never chase the money. Job satisfaction and lack of stress is worth more than a few extra quid in the bank.

In that case yes you should.leave... it's not the right place for you and you could leave it off your cv.

I’ve got a job like this that I leave off my cv and it’s never caused me a problem. I left after two weeks, got another job and started really fast, so i didn’t have a gap to explain.

I think you've got to give it your best shot – and also give your manager(s) a chance to step up. It reflects extremely badly on them that you feel so unsupported.

I do understand what it's like to feel like you're floundering, but I also think it's normal to feel overwhelmed at first in a new role.

Go in tomorrow, request an urgent meeting (phone meeting is fine). Explain exactly what the problems are and how are they affecting your ability to perform your role effectively. Say you need some support and ask what they suggest. Don't come away from that meeting without clear objectives and a timescale for achieving them, and follow it up with an email to confirm what was said. Give them a chance to manage you properly.

If they can't do that, then yes life probably is too short. But don't sabotage yourself or your reputation in this sector in haste.

I'm afraid that is what the extra money is for

I agree with @PlanetSlattern.. sound advice

I'd give it more time. It takes me months to find my feet in a new job.

This reminds me of a recent thread where the OP wanted her DH to leave his public sector role and take a job offer in the private sector with a much higher salary.

I've worked in public sector most of my career.... contact your manager and state your concerns via email. Specify what support you need.

Always follow up conversations with an email...that's your evidence.

If there's no improvement, try and get your DH to support you in lea...because he has to take on all the financial responsibilities.

I in a new job too and feel like you

I will try and tough it out for 2 years. I have already asked for help (as in hiring someone to help me in my office). It will take a while for this to happen if at all but I have to say something as it is not right I stay late every day and feel like I can barely surface for air.

But I get the feeling in a year's time things will be much better. I hope you can see a light at the far end. If not, it is going be very hard to keep going.

Having said that, I change jobs fairly frequently and the first 3 months of every job, however desired at first, are spent in a wilderness of 'what have I done'? But I got over it and my CV improved as a result.

Could you give yourself a few more months?

I would just go.

Send an email stating you are leaving at the end of the day.

Private sector companies are way behind public sector in staff wellbeing. They think a higher wage means you will wirk 24/7 to the detriment of your health.

It will not get better if you speak to your line manager. They have put you in this situation to start with so obviously don't see a problem with it.

Speak to your old boss and see if you can return to your old job. One of my senior managers did this recently after 2 months elsewhere.

When you were interviewed for this senior role, did you know it did not come with any support. It would be unusual for a senior role to have no one reporting into you but maybe this is more of a technical role?

I really feel for you. I have recently started a new job that is way out of my comfort zone, much more than was advertised, with less support and more expectations. I wish I had stayed at my old company but they are not the sort to ever take people back once you've gone. I can't afford not to work so I'm taking it a week at a time at the moment. If you can afford it and it's seriously affecting your mental health, leave.

I'm in a senior role in the public sector, my job is like your new one, don't assume that another similar level role back in the public sector will be stress free. I saw a lot less stress when I was in the private sector

Is this a specially created new role or are you replacing someone who has left? If it is the latter, your managers may already have some inkling of the level of work involved. If it is the former, you have to communicate what you need to do the role as they may not know. If this is a senior management role, your managers won't be managing your workload. You will have to manage it yourself and ask for more resources and justify it.

Would it help to find out who was in post there before you, why they left?...it might give you some insight, it could point to an ongoing problem with the workload, and give you some ammunition to use with the company - e.g. if the volume of work merits 2 people?

Also been in that position of feeling isolated when co-workers are unfriendly - in my case it was “their friend” who was leaving the post because of the work volume and other issues - so the remaining staff saw me as an enemy.

I would take back control, don't sit at your desk quietly being ignored and reading emails.

Turn off your computer, set up meetings with everyone you manage and everyone you work with. Do side by sides to understand what everyone is working on, how the workload is divided, what needs to be done and to get an understanding of what the companies strategies/priorities/values are. Not what it says on the intranet and literature but what is actually happening.

Speak with your peers about ideas you have, improvements and strengths that you see, how you can support their priorities etc

When you've spent a couple of days doing that, set up a meeting with your manager and ask for your objectives, speak to them about what you want your objectives to be, how you can achieve them and what you need to do that.

I always like to start with a Fix/Focus/Grow plan.

What are the immediate things I need to Fix in the first 12 weeks because they are negatively impacting my area of the business.
What are Focus activities to work on in the next 6 months to bring about improvement and drive change.
What areas can be Grown over the next 12 months, these are the bigger issues that need time to develop like new systems, succession planning....

If you see any possibility of success with this organisation then grab it. At a senior level you are expected to manage yourself to an extent and to be able to be a self starter.

It’s early days. It always takes me a few months to settle into a new role (I contract). Don’t make a hasty decision

I feel for you. The bottom line is, will it be the end of your career to leave, no. Absolutely not. It will take you several months to find and reestablish in a new role though. So why not give this one a time limit. If things have not improved in six weeks start your leaving plan. In the short term, one thing you must do is sleep properly and eat properly as these things won't help your anxiety levels. Next assert some boundaries around the level of work and demands being made of you. If at the end of the six weeks you are still unhappy, then its a cultural fit and look for somewhere that gives you a good feeling. Life is too short.

Give it time and ask for support as others have suggested. If I’d hired you, I would be really concerned that you’re thinking of leaving already as they obviously thought you had some great skills and experience to offer. It’s also not the best in terms of a new joiner experience- is there something in this perhaps that others who are also new joiners have experienced? Or just you? Either way it could be an opportunity for you to change how things like this are handled in the future for the better. Even at a senior level I’d expect you to have some sort of another senior peer to work with as part of you settling into the role. (have also worked in private-public and back to private sector again)

I think after 2 weeks it is entirely normal totally feel like you're sinking, particularly if you had been in your previous role for a long time and forgotten how much of a steep learning curve a new job is.

I would also expect you'd be needing to work evenings/weekends for the first couple of months to get up to speed with the company/role.

In a senior mangement position I would expect you to be self-starting, make an attempt to solve your own problems, then ask specific questions if you can't work something out.

I would give it 3 months. The workload seems overwhelming at the moment as you're only working at say 25% efficiency but that will improve.

Good luck and get some sleep as that will be making all of this seem worse.

You need to ask for help to understand stuff! In the first two weeks if you aren't asking 22,000 questions a day you're doing it wrong.

Why are you so passive about your manager and colleague being so hands off?

They hired you. You believed that you could do the job. Work out what you need and go for it!

Op give it time you've had lots of good advice from others.

I don't mean to derail your thread but something that bugs me on mumsnet is that low paid workers work as hard as higher paid workers. You have just demonstrated that big money roles come with a level of stress that lower paid roles just don't.

However I do wish you well. I have made a 'bad move' before and moved on fairly quickly. I don't think anybody has asked about the gap in my CV.