AIBU to say being a manager isn't all it's cracked up to be?

[manageyourexpectations]

Hi all
Posting for views from other people who have worked at managerial/senior level and may wish to share their thoughts or offer experience of stepping back.

I'll try and be brief with my scenario so it isn't too unwieldy! I am in my early 30s and despite not going to university I have worked my way up the career ladder in my sector quickly and am now working for a great company in a senior role.

The role itself is fine, but line managing staff is just becoming so tiresome. After 10 years of managing staff, dealing with all their problems and feeling responsible for their behaviour I feel like I really want to step back into a role where I don't have line management responsibility and go into something where I am responsible for my work only. I'm sick of coming home stressed and burnt out because of some kind of staff drama.

That said, I've been in a management position in some form or another for 10 years now and I'm not sure how I'd find the transition in reality.

Has anyone had any experience of stepping back in their role, and aside from the financial hit... what was the impact to you from this?

Thanks in advance

I switched out of a management role to a very different job where I am only responsible for my own caseload again. It's much nicer. Slight pay cut but worth it (more because of the nature of current job which is just lovely all round).

My issue with managing staff was that I just wanted them to do their jobs! Just come to work, do your work. Obviously if you have a major issue and need support that's not a problem but the petty stuff was endless. I will also admit to occasionally being frustrated by people doing things very slowly or very badly that I could have just done myself except not my job to do it and I don't have time because I have to deal with the petty that said, lots of my team were fabulous and I miss them. Staff development was a big passion for me and it was great to support people to move forward with things they liked / were interested in.

@Mandatorymongoose I just left the room to see if my husband was on his phone.
Because you sound exactly like him 😂

He'll have his head in his hands sometimes after the third call on his day off repeating why can't they just do their jobs.

On the other side what about people working for terrible managers. Managers who are bullies and unfair and the workers can't do anything about it.

Why don't you start your own thread to discuss that?

It's so shit.

I would love a next role with less/no direct line management as it's a pain in the backside.

@manageyourexpectations
If you give to one, then you have to give to all.
So I give to no one. I have great staff who I value and somehow manage to retain.
What I have found are the ones who want it their way are the ones who either kick the shit out of it or leave anyway. Trust me, the crap ones always leave.
It certainly cuts out the arguments over school holidays and Christmas entitlements.
I don't particularly care that you want to be with your precious child / children at Xmas, the childless staff have just as much right to enjoy Christmas with their families.
So no, they knew when they signed their contract what their working expectations are, so I won't put up with backtracking at a later date.
My staff are fabulous, we all get on fine because everyone knows the boundaries. The minute a new staff member tries to go against the contract, the staff themselves tell them to get over themselves before they even come to me.

YANBU. I daydream about leaving my line management role TBH.

Knowing your value and skill set whilst also having zero ambition is this most freeing and affirming state to be in. Sack off the management role and don't look back.

All the managers at our place are very stressed out, nature of the business and its demands but that stress can get carried down to the Administrators and that's not a good thing, I don't get paid nearly enough to have to deal with managers stress!

I took redundancy and left my job last year after working my way up in management over 30 years. I was so fed up of sorting out other people’s problems. Some staff were great but as a manager at the top there were very few people I felt I could trust. Some staff lower down just want you to fail and bitch about you just because you are a manager. And most other managers just have the technical knowledge and have no idea how to manage people so there’s a difference across departments
I changed roles completely and now just manage my own caseload which is so great ... but for a third of my previous salary

My issue with managing staff was that I just wanted them to do their jobs! Just come to work, do your work. Obviously if you have a major issue and need support that's not a problem but the petty stuff was endless. I will also admit to occasionally being frustrated by people doing things very slowly or very badly that I could have just done myself except not my job to do it and I don't have time because I have to deal with the petty that said, lots of my team were fabulous and I miss them. Staff development was a big passion for me and it was great to support people to move forward with things they liked / were interested in.

This. If my team spent used half as much time and energy on just doing their fecking jobs as they do scheming about how to get out of work, arguing with each other over petty things and cherry picking the bits of the job they like, we would be cooking on gas!

I agree with the PP who said it takes time, energy and commitment to keep a team together and motivated and this is my problem right now. The pettiness and the drama have broken me and I'm lost all energy and commitment. I'm running on empty and frequently reduced to tears through tiredness and just sheer frustration.

I'm actually writing this from the loo at work where I've just had to retreat for a little cry after having been told by my manager that I am not doing enough senior-level work. I would love to do more of that stuff and I do try but line managing 14 people (12 of whom are the most needy, entitled individuals I've ever come across) swallows up all my time. I've just been forced into attending a whole load of meetings and getting involved in an area of work which, on paper, looks great but all I can think about is how I'm effectively going to be extending the working day to do all of this and the line management drama.

Ive only just stepped into management in the past few months. Im an assistant manager though. I work very closely with the manager so I do understand how stressful it is and how draining it can be at times especially with dramas etc.

If you are unhappy id def say take a step back or take a break from it

I can manage, and informally I do lots, getting new young graduates up to speed. But line management admin does my head in, and the thing with management is it's either very little work, or a doubling of your workload if not more. I wouldn't mind being a senior manager so much as others have said, but with my own stresses I'm sticking at the level below team leader.

Luckily all the managers I work with are great and they appreciate that I can fill in for them when needed, and while they can't pay me for it beyond the odd bonus, it's made clear that I can take the odd extra bit of time in lieu, and don't need to worry about my need for sick hours, family crisis time, etc - they need my long-term experience and know I don't take the piss.

It's not that I'd say no to the £15k pay rise, but as it would push me into high rate tax, lose us child benefit, and be loads of stress and cut into my free time, meaning I'd be back to the buying more ready meals, dry cleaning, childcare, cabs... Just not worth it.

YABU - or you don’t have the right people. I’ve been a line manager for 9 years now in two organisations. Love my current team, would walk over hot coals for them. They know it and give their best for the organisation. It’s a virtuous circle. I’m good at my professional job, but I’m an awesome manager, and we’re really high-performing as a team.

My last role broke me- managing 8 staff, 6 of which were ripping the absolute piss and abusing the very generous system.

Last straw was one of them raising a grievance against me after they came back from a late lunch pissed out their face, and thought it was inappropriate that I’d pulled them up and was confiscating their keys in case the tried to drive home (which they were intending to do).

Final straw in a very long line of troubled children.

New team, one tricky individual, one capable and confident dream, and two phenomenal, driven junior support staff who I literally could not operate without. They are my left and right hand ‘men’ and a delight to manage / mentor.

I inherited a team in the public sector. Many had been there a long time. A small number pretty much couldn't do their job and had to be bailed out frequently, a couple of them were pretty arrogant with it. A few others had...er...personality issues which led to things like claims of bullying, fallings out, storming out of the office etc.

As a group of people, they weren't that nice. Not long after I started, they organised the Christmas lunch and didn't invite me. People would join the team and either be adopted into the fold or frozen out and treated shoddily.

It's like herding cats. I've spent the last lot of years performance managing, tackling poor behaviour and capability and a good number have decided to move on, sometimes with a dramatic fanfare such as an unfounded grievance against me. It's been exhausting. I still have to deal with people squabbling, not doing their job right and hiding the evidence up until the shit hits the fan and they have to fess up. It's been a bit more positive as a result of the departures and my encouraging good behaviours (like forcing them to include all new team members) but surely it shouldn't have to be like this? As a manager, you just want people to do their job and unfortunately those who work hard and do good stuff often get less attention than the badly behaved or those who are bad at their job.

I have worked in places where on paper staff have a number of years experience and qualifications but they are not suitable for management positions. They know how to do the jobs below them well but have no people skills or proper management training.

One lady I had as a manager just expected staff to work what ever hours she wanted and work late on a regular basis. She had no idea that people had lives outside of work. She managed a busy department that was short staffed so her staff always had a high work load. No matter how much work they did she always found something to complain about. Holidays could only be taken at certain times and even getting a holiday day on Friday or Monday off to have a long weekend was a major deal.

She then decide not to renew my friends contact on very flimsy reason's.
A few weeks later my friends co worker handed in her notice. She told her manager that I am leaving here because I see more to my life than doing z, they way you treated X who was so good at y part of the job made me realise that I don't want to work in a place like this. I was looking for and have got a better job to go to.
Other people then left and the manager expected 2 ladies with children to just extend their hours to get the work done but never asked the "golden girl"of the place to extend her hour's. The ladies with children both told her no.
One of my friends said to me at that stage it was horrible because the work load was gone beyond a joke and the manager was very slow to get more staff.

I then had a great manager in one of the 1st places I worked in. What made her a great manager was her people skills. She had worked her way up to a very senior role but was still willing to do the job she started if we were short staffed. She made sure people got good training, encouraged people to work hard and noticed when you did. Even to this day she is still in contact with one of my friends and they have not worked together in a good 15 year's.

My dad stepped back from a senior management role. The hours and responsibilities were wreaking him physically and mentally. I honestly thought he'd have a breakdown. He struggles now on his pay but he's much happier and has a better quality life

Did it for a year and despised it.

Mainly due to entitled arse holes.

Side stepped last year and it's the best move I've made.

Aww OP I feel for you, after 15 years of managing people I thought no more, it’s too much drama. I wanted a nice easy role, unfortunately finding a basic role is really hard as I keep hearing I’m overqualified! I don’t need the money but do enjoy the work place companionships, just not the HR stuff

I was managing a team of 15 and in the end I hated it. It was a technical team and I was still doing the technical work as well (thankfully). I just got fed up with the constant dramas that some of them caused. It was like dealing with children.

I was offered an opportunity to move into a lead technical position with no change in terms and conditions and jumped at it. I have the same level of seniority in the organisation, just no line management responsibility.

It's the best thing I've ever done. Managing people is a pain in the arse.

It's so bloody hard. I do like managing people, generally. I like to see people develope and go further in their career.

But a small percentage just make it so hard. Petty arguments, constant excuses why they couldnt do their jobs. In my last job it got to the point with a few where every converstation had to be witnessed and documented. You would sit with them, show them how to do something. Let them do it a few times. Have someone next ti them for support and off they go 2 weeks later when it transpires they arent doing it anymore its 'you didnt show me' or 'you didnt tell me I had to do it everyday'. So everything documented and them signing it. Then them trying to dispute the wording.

Or the ones who are late everyday. I was asked to coached a man in his 40s, to come in on time. I refused. We didnt start until 11.30am and he still was not ever on time. I was not sitting with a 40 year old, coaching him on how to get up and get in.

He claimed he started too late, and that if he slept passed 10am he struggled to get up. So I moved his team as he said an earlier start would help. Still turned up late.

Then there was the free fruit. The company provided fuit baskets for every team, each week. The man in his 50s who used to empty the basket taking it home for his children. He didnt bloody have children. People complained, it caused issues. We had to take the route of speaking to him and asking if his financial situation was ok (it was his wife was a high earner and this job was well paid). Told him to stop taking all the fruit. He still did it. So the company had to employ a fruit policy where each person could only have 2 pieces. I kicked the same man out of a training session because he pretended to be asleep. Then he raised a grievance saying I was xenophobic because he was from ireland. So am I. I dont give a shit. You fuck around in training, you can leave an do it in another session.

It was fucking ridiculous.

So many times I was just screaming 'oh my god if you put this amount of effort into doing your job, you would be amazing'.

This is why I am glad I moved into project management. I get to do the bits of management I like, without the tedious bits!

I actually enjoy line management. I studied psychology and I have always been interested in people's behaviour, so this is up my street. I've been fortunate to have always had good staff, and even when they've been issue, it's been resolved successfully. Then again, I've been told many times that I am a great boss to work for.

What I really hate is Senior Management is leadership politics. The pretending that we care, that all is great, the constant reviewing the same strategy over and over that we all know does work but all pretend it will because the big big boss has decided and if you show any negativity, you are seen as not being supportive. I absolutely hates this pretending position and this is what has led me to take a step back. I still supervise staff and enjoy this, but it's my boss who deals with the higher up crap, I am so much happier now.

Oh and the staggering amount of people who dont realise internal instant messenger and email are monitored and not to be used for

Messaging you boyfriend who works with you to arrange what sex position you are going use in your car/toilets at lunchtime

Sexting others that you fancy in the office

Sending pictures of your boobs or dick

Messaging about how much you hate the director and explicitly explaining how you would kill them

Tell someone you have their dope for them

Pricing up how much dope to buy

Thankfully these are all from huge offices so the majority of people are decent. But theres quite a few that arent and they cause problems all over the place.