AIBU to say being a manager isn't all it's cracked up to be?

[manageyourexpectations]

Hi all
Posting for views from other people who have worked at managerial/senior level and may wish to share their thoughts or offer experience of stepping back.

I'll try and be brief with my scenario so it isn't too unwieldy! I am in my early 30s and despite not going to university I have worked my way up the career ladder in my sector quickly and am now working for a great company in a senior role.

The role itself is fine, but line managing staff is just becoming so tiresome. After 10 years of managing staff, dealing with all their problems and feeling responsible for their behaviour I feel like I really want to step back into a role where I don't have line management responsibility and go into something where I am responsible for my work only. I'm sick of coming home stressed and burnt out because of some kind of staff drama.

That said, I've been in a management position in some form or another for 10 years now and I'm not sure how I'd find the transition in reality.

Has anyone had any experience of stepping back in their role, and aside from the financial hit... what was the impact to you from this?

Thanks in advance

Totally agree with everything said on here - it is shit and managing staff has added absolutely nothing to the enjoyment of my working life!

I was really good at the role below and it was always expected that I would progress - some most days, I wonder why the hell I did I enjoy the higher level work involved in the manager role but definitely not the line management part. It has got to the stage now where I am beginning to wonder if my team are deliberately trolling me as it is a never ending list of requests/issues/demands etc on a seemingly revolving basis amongst them (I imagine them sat in the office saying to each other 'it is your turn to ask for something' )

Plus, not sure if others feel this way, but I am constantly feeling I am not meeting their expectations but I have no idea what it is they want or expect from me but I am clearly not delivering

And yy to fighting for them and doing whatever I can to help them behind the scenes then dealing with them stabbing you in the back at the first opportunity - this happened to me and nearly broke me

It is truly shit!

as the population gets more entitled managing them gets harder

I don't know if it's just my DH.
But does anyone else's staff try to dictate to them when they will work.

So I can't do night, weekends, I have kids so have to be home by 3?!?!?

I think he's laughed at some of them.

Middle management is the pits
As someone in that role once said - thy thought they would be able to be a bridge between senior management and rest of staff and like any bridge just got walked all over by both sides
The higher you go the easier staff management gets IMO or move over completely into consultancy

I always have gone for management positions for the pay rises but really it’s a pain in the arse

Most of the time my experience has been with directors not giving me full ability to actually do full management as they can’t let go themselves which makes a mockery of having management in the first place

@ddraigygoch all the time . We state very clearly at interview that we operate a rolling rota , so I despair when someone (after a week in the job) states that they can’t do a certain shift.

Thanks for so many replies. Many of them resonate with me.

I should say that when I say staff "dramas" I'm not referring to serious stuff. I've supported staff through disabilities, bereavements, redundancies, redeployments and actually have really enjoyed it. Naturally I'm a very empathetic and supportive person and I consistently get feedback from people in my team to say the same.

"Dramas" refer to the he said/she said business. People who will burst into fits of rage over the slightest change in process or throw back in your face the extra 10 minutes they have worked the moment they aren't happy.

I have had a tough time in my personal life the last few years which has given me a greater perspective on what really matters and sometimes I struggle to really get on board with the way some people react to things and like many of you say it's often like looking after a bunch of children! I do manage 5 lower tier managers and to be honest they aren't much better.

I come home most days from work completely shattered, demotivated and drained. I feel like I'm giving the best years of my life to something that doesn't give back (apart from the money... which I could make adjustments to live without!)

My manager is fantastic and very supportive but the job is what it is and I have a decision to make.

Thankyou to so many of you for words of encouragement and allowing me to see I'm not alone in this!

@Sofacat I have so much sympathy.
I'm on 'management' but don't manage anyone.
Loving life 😂

He runs a nightclub.

And they try to tell him they can't work nights.

@ddraigygoch Yes, some of mine.
They are reminded of the contract that they agreed to and signed which included all the terms and conditions, including contracted hours, start and finish times and shifts.
They are welcome to seek alternative employment if that contract is no longer agreeable to them.

I manage 20 people. 14 are lovely and 6 are dick heads who take up most of my time

I agree with posts re entitlement! We have certain people who want to dictate their hours. Not to give too much away but we work in social work in the council and therefore our days revolve around clients needs and we need to be flexible.

Yet we have some workers who will just think it's ok to sign off at 2pm because they chose to come in an hour early and work through lunch! Baffling.

@ColourMyDreams our contracts are very very watertight. Could not explain the business needs more clearly.

But the stupid company didn't plan that Karen needed to collect her kids. Or John was still in Uni and had a lecture at 9am. How selfish of them.

I have to ask do you all get affected by home dramas. He is constantly moaning about how their home dramas affect him.

He always says he has sympathy on an individual level. But with so many staff there's never a break.

Jane has broken up with her boyfriend so she's a bit shit.
Bobs girlfriend left him. Eddies moving house and is stressed. On and on.

The home ‘dramas’ (arguments with partners) drive me mad . Emily pleaded for a certain day annual leave, I rejigged the rota so she could have it . She turned up to work anyway because of a row with her partner 🙄 .

A uniform has been introduced, most people have accepted it , apart from one who asked if they have to wear it every day and could they wear something similar to what has been chosen.

It wasn't for me. I grew tired of getting flack from both above and below. There were some rewarding moments, yes, but a great deal of defending people who then stabbed me in the back at the first opportunity they had. Also, pussy-footing around piss-takers of varying descriptions was wearing.

**
All my attention seemed to get used up on those who least deserved it, and I felt as though I was letting down the hard-working, non-attention-seeking types. I don't think I'm assertive enough to be a successful manager. I was glad to take the opportunity of a sideways move that didn't involve people-management.*
*
^^ this. With bells on. I've done my time. It shattered my confidence and I'm still trying to recover.

Bolding fail, oops.

I think companies underestimate the unique skill set that makes someone a good people manager. My boss is brilliant at people stuff. She can spot stuff and work out how to get the best of people and is known for her skills in this area.

I think as a previous poster has said people get promoted purely because they're good at their technical role and not given the training and support to manage others.

I stepped back from managing a company 10 years ago. I was an excellent manager and for most of the time it was good. We were a great team and achieved so much more than I can as an individual.
But when things got bad, it almost broke me. Pressure from above and below, unfair and unnecessary. I left to go freelance. There is almost no stress. I work in a co-working centre, so have colleagues and a work atmosphere as much as I want. I miss having an assistant though!

Those of you who have said you are excellent managers, what makes you good at it? What skills do you need?

@ddraigygoch That's the beauty of shaking my head, referring them to their contract and asking them to close the door on the way out.

Managed 1 or 2 at a time, and tbh never 2 good ones at a time. It can be surprising how hard it is to find good staff, something 8 neve4 realised until being a manager!

Something I never realised until being a manager*

Last time I had to manage staff I found it very hard as they were resentful of my promotion

If truth be told I'm bored out of my mind. My boss doesn't like dealing with issues so as long as my team don't have any technical incidents then that's all that's expected of me. My team are great and get on with it, our workload isn't stressful. But I'm not going anywhere because I'd rather be bored than have issues like most here, my pay is good, I'm not stressed, and hours are somewhat flexible. I'm just bored

I've been managing staff for many years and yes...its like having a bunch of kids. A good team dynamic is brilliant when you achieve it, but it doesn't take much for a team to fall apart (staff leaving is a biggie, especially so in lower grade roles)

It takes time, energy and commitment to keep a team together and to be honest in my last role I had a terrible manager myself who treated me, her other team managers and everyone beneath her appallingly (still does...that's a whole other story).

I much prefer my new job. No line management responsibilities and to be honest I doubt I'd take another people management role in the future.

@ColourMyDreams I completely agree with your approach but depending on the industry you work in, many organisations (local authority included) struggle to retain staff as it is and have flexible working / flexi time requests as a contractual right and want to retain working parents so will often bend over backwards when challenged to facilitate staff personal arrangements.

It's a tough nut to crack, on one hand we want to keep brilliant staff but on the other this approach lends itself to those who aren't so conscientious taking the P

I've recently moved sideways into a more defined, specialised role. Same salary, same seniority but no staff to manage. I am so much happier now I no longer have to manage people, just get on with what I do best. I get far more done as well.