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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend less than £10 on Christmas presents for each of my 3yo twin boys?

117 replies

speedymama · 03/09/2007 14:32

DH thinks I am.

I bought their Christmas presents in a sale from a discount shop months ago. One cost £1.99 and the other £3.99. I don't intend to buy them anything else, especially as relatives will buy them a lot anyway.

DH says we can do better than that but I don't see why we should. They would appreciate a box of balloons if we gave it to them - they are not materialistic and I am determined to keep it that way.

The £1.99 gift is a numbers and letters book that lights up when they press buttons. The £3.99 gift is a craft set with sponges and paint. They have one each.

OP posts:
Alambil · 03/09/2007 20:57

absolutely NBU

as far as making the kids save for part of a game is a good thing IMO = it teaches that things COST and that money isn't "just there" - it has to be earned, saved and then spent.

UnderPesha · 03/09/2007 21:13

YANBU but can i just ask (out of curiosity not judgement!) are they to be from father xmas or from you? Will they have a stocking?

Alambil · 03/09/2007 21:18

all my ds's presents are from me - he knows I buy them and then they get sent to Father Christmas to wrap

I use this story so he knows who to thank - that people actually spent time and money on him and he is grateful .... sometimes, kids can become glib about presents and not wholly realise that someone has actually paid hard earned money for them so this story gets round that (IMPO!)

Original poster
speedymama · 03/09/2007 21:27

UnderPesha, presents from FC and no stocking (they don't know what a stocking is anyway).

OP posts:
moljam · 03/09/2007 21:36

yanbu

MarsLady · 03/09/2007 21:39

As long as you spend vast amounts of money on my pressie then no......YANBU!

3andnomore · 03/09/2007 21:40

x-mas is about love and family not about presents...I always feel really tight, but, I also know that I am doing the right thing...just that I have been brainwashed to well in that I feel they should get more....but really it's all more about the pre-christmas time of cookie baking and singing and spending family time togehter ....

UnderPesha · 03/09/2007 21:55

I think its such a personal thing, everyone has their own traditions and ideas of what makes christmas christmas iyswim. Its about the whole day or whole week or 2 even and presents are only a small part of that.

I know I go overboard on the presents and on their stockings but I do it cos I love doing it! But then I buy them very little else through the rest of the year!

I agree its not at all necessary though, especially when they're so young.

woodyrocks · 03/09/2007 22:05

No you are not! Paint sounds fab - messy fun At 3 I know for a fact Woody was clueless re:xmas and pressies. Everything I bough was for my own benefit (single parent guilt perhaps always over-compensating).

I remember once, and I have it on cam to prove it, I bought her a bright green and red crawl-along frog 'thingymigig' and got it out of the box presenting it with a fanfare of "what's this, what's mummy got you" only for her to waddle straight to the brown box beaming!

mumeeee · 03/09/2007 22:53

YANBU. At 3 they won't care how much you spend. They will just enjoy having something new to play with whatever it is.

pollywollydoodle · 03/09/2007 23:02

YANBU
enjoy it while you can!
I love that pre-school oblivion

my DD was 3 last year and asked santa for "a maisy book, some ginger beer and a crumpet cut in half and spread with butter"...it made me come over all emotional....santa obliged BTW...

handlemecarefully · 03/09/2007 23:05

Sounds fine to me

expatinscotland · 03/09/2007 23:09

Hmm, let me think back to what I remember about all the Xmases from my childhood . . .

I can't remember a single gift except a bike, and that's only because I remember my dad putting on the stabilisers and going out with him to ride it time and again.

Think back, folks, about what you remember?

Bet it's the people, the food, the stuff you did, even the weather. Bet it's not the gifts.

Bet it's, 'Remember that Christmas Tia Panchita got drunk and tried to sing?'

JodieG1 · 04/09/2007 08:18

I can only remember one christmas I think from childhood and I can't remember much about it at all.

Original poster
speedymama · 04/09/2007 08:39

The thing I remember most is the food, tin of Quality Streets, the rum fruitcake as well as the ginger beer that my mother use make and the whole family being together.

OP posts:
Charlee · 04/09/2007 08:44

I think it's fine if thats what you feel is right.

I wouldn't do it becuse i was rather spoilt myself at xmas as we were extremley tight for money all through the rest of the yr and im afraid i seem to have followed suit with my 2 although they have so many relitives there presents from us are getting less and less.

meowmix · 04/09/2007 08:47

I remember the family rituals like we used to have a wooden trolley and it'd get wheeled into the sitting room for Christmas Eve dinner in front of the TV (a once a year treat), leaving a dram and carrot out for FC, christmas music on the radio and going for a walk.

The only present I remember getting is a girls world and only that because I screamed the place down in terror because the week before I'd snuck downstairs and watched my parents watch TV and there'd been some horror film on!

Baffy · 04/09/2007 08:48

It's totally up to you what you spend on your children.

Have to say though that thinking back to my childhood I absolutely adored getting a stocking (and ds, who's only 2, loved getting his last christmas too!).
Mum would fill it with fruit, some shiny brand new coins, some chocolate coins, and always a tiny gift wrapped up at the bottom. Whole stocking would have cost less that £5 I'm sure. But it was the most exciting thing about Christmas morning for me. Can't imagine not continuing that tradition for ds.

But like most people have said on here - it's really up to you.

ScottishMummy · 04/09/2007 09:03

your childern -up to you i say good parenting is not a materialistic o-how-much--can-i-spend-avaricious-contest at Xmas so I agree with u

OrmIrian · 04/09/2007 09:57

I agree meowmix - rituals and food are the most memorable things. We always had the same tree decorations and crib figures and it was an event getting them out and using them (still do). Special tablecloth and china too. Even special long woollen socks to use as stockings. In fact I'm not sure I can remember any significant presents....apart from a doll with growing hair which was a major disappointment.

portonovo · 04/09/2007 10:07

Baffy, you're right about the excitement of the stocking. My 3 children still love that bit, and they're aged 10-14. They still all wake up and 'feel' their stockings, then at the pre-arranged time they all come down and sit on our bed and open their stockings. It's all little, daft presents but it means Christmas is here and they love it!

FrannyandZooey · 04/09/2007 10:14

We-ell

I do commend your attitude, and I am sure your children will be delighted, but personally I do like to buy quite a lot for ds at Christmas and I would feel sad if dp said that I was not allowed to. He doesn't need new things, but it is so nice to be able to choose things for him, and we all enjoy watching him open them. Plus I get a chance to buy things we will really enjoy using together through the coming year. We don't tend to buy many toys at other times, so it is a chance to save up and spend a little. I think your attitude is great if both parents are in agreement, but sad for your dp, if you won't let him buy a bit more than this when he wants to.

KerryMum · 04/09/2007 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ColdPenguin · 04/09/2007 10:24

I have to say that I am a BIG fan of christmas for kids. I think it is an incredibly magical time that can only last for a certain number of years.

When I was a child my mum went to enormous lengths to make christmas magical for us and as a result I have the most fantastic childhood memories of it.

I'm afraid I have to say that I think a big part of this is opening the door to the lounge and seeing mountains and mountains of presents under the tree often filling the entire room.

This may sound materialistic but that's not what it's about for kids. They have no idea how much any of it costs anyway so how can it make them materialistic? It's just all part of the magic. I was not spoilt the rest of the year and have not grown up without understanding the value of money.

Of course, I don't think anyone should bankrupt themselves in order to do this. A lot of the magic comes from effort rather than money anyway. In the days leading up to christmas I can often be found making little icing sugar elf footprints on my carpet and leaving trails of chocolate coins etc... We always have a big tree and I send my husband out the garden with sleigh bells at bedtime on xmas eve and all the rest...

With regards to the money thing I have to say that I would always spend as much as I can reasonably afford. You can of course get away with buying much cheaper presents when the kids are younger without losing the magic. However, I am cynical that there are many families in Britain these days that really cannot manage more than £1.99 for their 3 year olds christmas present. Am I really that naive? Surely you could at least add to the magic by just wrapping up some large boxes if you think you children will be enthralled with the wrapping paper. Fill them with balloons, streamers, home-made decorations if money is tight. Make some fancy dress costumes. Get pictures of family and friends and make decorations with them so the boys can spot who they know. If you start looking on e-bay now before it gets busy, you can get lots of second hand bargains that have hardly been used.

Your boys will only be young enough to get up at 4am and jump up and down squealing with delight at christmas for a short while. Before you know it, they will be crawling out of bed at midday with a christmas eve hangover and just enough energy to grunt a quick thank you for whatever gifts they receive.

wordgirl · 04/09/2007 10:27

I must be materialistic cos I remember just about every present I received as a child including over the years a doll's pram (that was the year my brother got his coveted Chopper!), a doll which I christened Denise for some unfathomable reason and a cardboard shop (like a Wendy House) which I was desperate to sleep in.

And the year my dad was on strike (he was a fireman) I got a transistor radio which I thought was the coolest thing ever, a pair of plimsolls and a jumper that my mum had knitted with wool she had unravelled from one of her old jumpers. Oh and every year the obligatory tin of Quality Street and annual.

None of these were wildly extravagant but I still remember the look on my parents' faces when they saw how thrilled I was.