To spend less than £10 on Christmas presents for each of my 3yo twin boys?

[speedymama]

DH thinks I am.

I bought their Christmas presents in a sale from a discount shop months ago. One cost £1.99 and the other £3.99. I don't intend to buy them anything else, especially as relatives will buy them a lot anyway.

DH says we can do better than that but I don't see why we should. They would appreciate a box of balloons if we gave it to them - they are not materialistic and I am determined to keep it that way.

The £1.99 gift is a numbers and letters book that lights up when they press buttons. The £3.99 gift is a craft set with sponges and paint. They have one each.

[LoveAngel]

Depends on the age of the kids, too. Personally, I think a whole room of presents for a 3 yr old is excessive and is probably pleasing the parents more than the kids.

[peanutbear]

YANBU but its not for me I would buy them things like that for tidying there room doing well at school/nursery not as a christmas present,

I but the more expensive things at christmas that they dont have all yr round like bikes/scooters or toy kitchens etc

I think they grow out of christmas too quickly it a ime for us all to be together as a family

my realtives give me money for the children at christmas this goes in a bank they only get what I buy for them unless they are saving up for something really big

[TinyGang]

Agree 100% with Penguin's post. (I love the 'elf footprints' btw )

[LoveAngel]

Agree there is a kiddle ground...but does how much you spend really matter? If you're skint, isn't it better to buy a cheap present and have a fun day any way (you can have fun without spending loads!)? After all, 3 yr olds don't sit there and think 'My present only cost £2!' do they? I think sticking to a small budget for Xmas presents is far more sensible than going into debt over Xmas like so many families do. ow that's really dumb.

[LoveAngel]

urm - middle ground, obviosuly!

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

i agree with penguin over the 'magic' but the cost??

surely that doesnt matter! this year is gunna be a tight one for us, dds birthday is oct, ds's nov, and then xmas, tey wont have a lot spent on them as we're having huge money problems, tho they'll still enjoy it, wether they've got toys worth £5 or £50!!!

[Othersideofthechannel]

Wordgirl, do you remember those presents because there wasn't much competition?
Did you have parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts buying you gifts at Christmas or was it only your parents?

[Hallgerda]

YANBU. Good on you.

(I take it you will be doing the tangerine, shiny penny and walnut in the sock as well?)

[wordgirl]

OSOTC, my presents were just from my parents really. Or should I say Santa And that was all I got. I have lots of aunts and uncles but it would have been madness for them to all buy me presents and for my parents to reciprocate by buying presents for all their nephews and nieces.

[Vikkin]

Halt! My mind is already reeling after an encounter at the school gate this morning. Chav Mum (or as I call her - Woman with Black Cardigan Welded On) says she is economising this year, that she is 'only' spending £100 on each of her four dcs - last year apparently she spend £3,500 all in. Woohoo!!
Her kids are monsters, need their mouths washing out with soap and look totally malnourished and she still has the black cardy welded on.
I think it's wise to spend less at Christmas and more on birthdays. Perhaps arrange a special Christmas trip out together instead.

[haychee]

imo, it is a little extreme. Is entirely up to you though. I wish i could control my spending on my dc especially at xmas more. I would like to spend alot less than i do, but i think less than a tenner is a bit naff. I suppose your right at their age they dont realise and will be grateful for what they get and your right to want to keep it that way. You will find though as they get older though, they will expect more especially when they see what their friends get.

I want my dc to come downstairs on xmas morning and see a huge pile of pressies. Not a measley book. But mine are older than yours. I think there is a happy medium more than you but less than me.

[LoveAngel]

Black-cardi-woman reminds me of an ex-colleague who showered her young son (tyhink he was about 8 at the time) with playstations, IPODs and all sorts of ridiculously expensive gear at Xmas. He was the most ungrateful brat i have ever met, and actually cried when he discovered she hadn't given him the 'right' game to go with his PS2. Little fucker.

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

haychee, but its not the huge pile of presents they remember, and if they hve too many they lose/break things! im going to stick to 3 presents each for dcs this xmas, for ds's 1st birthday he will be getting clothes and for dds 3rd birthday im oging to get her the games for her leappad, thats it!!

[haychee]

Im not the same black cardi woman btw. And my dc are very happy and content and grateful for what they get. I think £100 (total) on each is a sensible realistic amount.

I have been known to spend alot more, but this year i will be making a concsious effort to restrict my spending and will keep within my budget. Dc will not be getting 1 present that costs the £100, but lots of smaller items so they have a pile of pressies to open.

[haychee]

I think mine do remember the big pile actually. DD1 was overheard telling DD2 about lots of presents in a sack that santa brings.

[Vikkin]

But if the number of parcels is what matters there are many inexpensive things available to 'bump' up the total.
Some years ago I had three huge piles of parcels every Xmas morning. Aside from the cost aspect, it was taking so long to open everything that the dcs were losing interest, we could not keep track of who gave what, and the dcs were not actually taking in that someone cared enough to send them a present.
Now we have fewer, stagger the opening a bit, and make sure the kids acknowledge that 'Auntie so-n-so has given me that lovely jigsaw'. And we always try to give something that needs to be taken into the garden or onto the street to be used so they get OUT to play.

[potoroo]

You are so NBU! Especially at age 3. And especially if they are getting lots of presents from relatives.


I feel slightly guilty because DS (age 2) just got some toys from Freecycle - because its not his birthday or Christmas... He got a set of tools from Asda for £1.49 and he takes them to bed with him. What is the point of spending more?

Box of balloons... very good idea.

[Vikkin]

Haychee, you are not black-cardi-woman. She said she was going up to Primark (or Primart, whatever) this morning.
Me - I am now going to walk the dog, alone for the first time in six weeks. Bliss! Later...

[GrumpyOldHorsewoman]

I agree about finding the middle ground. DD2 will be 4 this year, and up to now I have bought her very little for christmas because...

a) we have about a million relatives who all buy presents, and it gets obscene

and

b) when they're that young, it is a hideous waste of money.

This year she will get a bit more for christmas from me because I agree that coming downstairs to a pile of pressies is very exciting for a child, although when I remember my childhood, the presents I got the most excited about was the one that wasn't wrapped. It may have been a bike (almost too exciting to bear, the year I got a bike for christmas!) or a beanbag. Therefore, I try to have an unwrapped present for each of my DDs. You'd be amazed at how cheap a trike or a pogo stick can be. You can create a magical christmas without spending a fortune - the atmosphere of the day and all the fun of the month are the most important things. I would never measure christmas in monetary terms - far better an appropriate and thoughtful gift than expensive (and often inappropriate) stuff which will eventually find its way onto ebay and gave no pleasure.

[haychee]

Yes, thats my plan. Lots of less expensive items totalling no more than £100 each. I think alot of this is age related. I would feel awful for my dc if what they got was by far the least in comparison to their friends. Unfortunately (esp in girls anyway) there is alot of competition "im better than you" type behaviour. I dont want mine to feel they are easy targets because they got less than the next person. Also, i think that they think, its reward for how they have behaved during the year. If they were good they get lots, if they had been bad they get less.

[Othersideofthechannel]

Oh gosh, I didn't realise there was a problem with black cardigans. I always have one in my wardrobe.
Is it ok to own one and wear it once or twice a a week?

[portonovo]

haychee, I think it's really sad that your children think the number of presents is linked to how good they've been, that's awful.

I strongly disagree with giving children presents just so they feel they have the same as everyone else, or more. I don't want my children to get sucked into that sort of competitive attitude.

My children are a bit older now - including a teenage daughter - and that sort of attitude has never entered the equation. My children know that the budget is finite, and fixed, and they know we don't believe in spending huge amounts of money on presents just for the sake of it. They are all really good at coming up with lists of things they really would like and would appreciate - not just lists and lists from the Argos catalogue like some children I know!

They also know that if they ask for something a bit pricier, they will have fewer presents, and they are happy with that. So one child might get one bigger thing and a few stocking-fillers and not much else, another might have a large pile of things costing £3-10. That's up to them, it's an individual thing which in many ways reflects their different personalities, and everyone seems happy with what they get.

What I really really love about my kids at Christmas is the pleasure they get from all the family traditions and from even the smallest gift or card - they really appreciate everything and aren't cynical or present-grabbing or comparing at all.

I think speedmama is right given the age her children are. It's sad her husband disagrees, but perhaps he can be persuaded that there are lots of present-giving opportunities still out there as they get older!

[GrumpyOldHorsewoman]

I actually think it's important that children don't get all they have asked for. I read an article once written by a man who had been disappointed by his parents repeatedly each christmas. Every year, there would be something he was desperate for, and whilst he would get some great presents when christmas came around, the one thing he really wanted was always missing.

However, when he complained to his father that he never got the one thing he really wanted, his father suggested that he do odd jobs for people, until he had enough money saved to buy it for himself. This, the author realised, made him appreciate that thing even more, when he did eventually buy it for himself with his hard-earned savings. He also noticed that sometimes, the coveted item became unimportant before he had even saved enough to buy it - thus realising that it wasn't what he wanted after all.

I know, at 3, this is irrelevant, but as my DDs get older, I too strive to ensure that they don't get all they want - much of it is just a passing fancy anyway. I don't appreciate the 'ask and ye shall receive' mentality that it engenders.

[ThursdayNext]

Speedymama, I think you are very wise, especially with such young children.
And very organised, can't believe you've got Christmas presents sorted already.
But as DH disagrees, is there anything small that you would need to buy for them anyway that you could wrap up and add to the pile? Or is it part of a wider diagreement about spending / saving money?