Valentines day and DC - AIBU

[TellMeItsNotTrue]

I've never seen valentines day as anything other than something celebrated by couples, I don't buy in to the galintines/palintines day as I'll just send friends little things when I'm thinking of them or I think they need it. I do the same for my DC, if they are struggling with something then I'll treat them to their favourite meal or all go to the cinema or something to cheer them up

Problem is that a mum of DD1 friend has asked what I'm getting my DD, what I'm doing for her 😕 erm, nothing?

She has bought her presents, is planning on making heart shaped pancakes for breakfast and taking her out for a meal and to the cinema after school 😲

It's totally thrown me, this is a new friend in high school, I don't know if she always does all of that or it's because they are in high school now or what? I don't want DD1 to be the only one not made a fuss of, but I also don't feel right doing valentines day for my DC as its aimed at couples

So I'm turning to MN to help me out - is this normal in high school?

YABU - I SHOULD treat DD1/DC with gifts/cards/take them out
YANBU - There's nothing wrong with doing it, but it's not commonplace and therefore not necessary

That is just weird to me! Valentines is a couply thing, possibly a twee heart shaped cake I guess if you like that sort of thing. But going out with the kids? No

Odd. I have been coerced into buying heart shaped chicken nuggets but that's as far as it goes. VD is just bullshit.

I think it is a bit silly but the mum isn't doing any harm is she? and you don't have to do anything either. Some folk just love an event and to be involved

Marks and spencers are selling love sausage i lold a bit to much at that!

The woman is a loon. This isn't normal.

YABU - I SHOULD treat DD1/DC with gifts/cards/take them out
YANBU - There's nothing wrong with doing it, but it's not commonplace and therefore not necessary
None of these fit my response although I voted YANBU. Are you just being polite? The mum of your dd's friend is being utterly ridiculous. What kind of sense of entitlement is that pandered-to child going to grow up with? She'll probably have a breakdown if someone forgets to send a card to celebrate the Chinese New year or whatever.

No. Don't think your DD will be left out. Think of her as having an appropriate set of values.

It may not be normal, but I buy cards for all the children in my life;; my now adult niece told me she loved it, whenever her friends asked her how many she got she could always say at least 1, she pretty much knew it was me.
My dad used to do it too. ❤️❤️❤️

Seems a bit OTT to me, my parents did give us chocolates (not expensive ones just little chocolate hearts or something) but I think that was just an excuse to treat us.

I don’t think it’s a particularly unusual thing to celebrate it as being about all kinds of love rather than a couple thing: I remember making Valentine’s cards at infant school and hearing the story of St Valentine and being encouraged to give the cards to your best friend or a sibling or your mum, and I’m 33.

It’s no big deal if she wants to do it for her DD, is it? Surely it’s just something some families do whilst others don’t, like the tooth fairy or the Easter Bunny. Your DD will just know you have different traditions.

My best friend’s mum who clearly had too much time in her hands used to write elaborate thank-you letters to her from the tooth fairy with little gifts besides. The tooth fairy passed our house by entirely. I don’t think either approach has particularly had much impact on either my friend or I, and I’m not aware yet of my friend having had a breakdown because of her sense of entitlement.

I used to send valentine's Day cards to my mum when she lived abroad. This wasn't that long ago.

I think traditionally, it's been for couples but holidays continue to evolve ... A decade ago, I didn't know as anyone who celebrated Halloween now everyone bloody does.

I'm not expecting to take DS out or anything, but I know he's making a card for me at nursery (it's was meant to be a surprise but he accidentally told me lol)

YANBU.

My dh gets out 2 dds cards Teddy bear and chocs. They love it

Ridiculous.
Valentines is, if you care to celebrate it, for romantic couples.

When we were at high school a friend of mine got a card from each of her parents.

She hated it, and I was embarrassed for her.

I also find it very weird. It is all about romantic love

I got an anonymous card most years as a child.
Took me many of those years to twig that it was always on the porch mat, no stamp and in my Mums handwriting. I guess she wanted to bolster me in some way but it did always cheer me up.

I find a Dad buying his daughters cards and chocolates a bit odd I must admit.

I use to get the odd valentines card when i was a child but i have never specifically bothered as an adult. My mum is attempting to persuade me to go to a valentines party on saturday afternoon but i have firmly said no thank you as my mum has clearly stated that she is far more interested in getting drunk at this party and she expects me to do the same. No i am not perfect and i do like the odd alcoholic drink but i cannot stomach alcohol in the afternoon and i can think of better things to do than watching people get wasted while i may get perceived as a miserable git for not drinking.

I think each to their own and if she wants to do that then great, it's just not something I've ever done and I wanted to check it wasn't a high school "thing" as it's the first I've heard of it and it's DD1 first year in high school

Looks like it's a family thing rather than a high school thing so I don't need to start doing anything 👍 I just wanted MN advice with it being a new environment and not wanting my DD to be left out

I treat my DC through the year if they need cheering up or have something to celebrate, she treats her DD on valentines day 🤷‍♀️ every family is different 🙂

Strictly speaking it's a couples thing, but I used to buy DD something like a chocolate heart because I enjoyed doing it and wanted to treat her.

I think it’s very weird. It would give me this very facial expression: (except I can’t raise only one eyebrow).

In my native language Valentine's day translates as 'friendship day' therefore I don't associate it as couply thing. I think if that's what the school mum wants to do, fair enough but there shouldn't be an expectation

I'm taking DS (6) to Kaspas desserts after school on Friday. I'm single so Valentines Day for me is about chocolate.

I'm definitely not getting him a card or presents though.

I don’t get it and I don’t really like it; valentines is about couples, not children.

Jesus wept ive heard it all now.Taking a child to the cinema because its valentines day? Heart shaped pancakes?

It's a commercial day that's for adults that want to partake to celebrate their romantic love

I agree it’s about romantic love originally - but new couples, not people that have been together for ages. It’s about secret admirers, crushes or romance just beginning. Silly to me when married couples or established couples celebrate it.

I agree it’s not really about dc, but equally there’s no harm in a heart shaped pancake for breakfast or some chocolates. Just for fun / make the day a bit special, which we could all do with mid Feb!