Valentines day and DC - AIBU

[TellMeItsNotTrue]

I've never seen valentines day as anything other than something celebrated by couples, I don't buy in to the galintines/palintines day as I'll just send friends little things when I'm thinking of them or I think they need it. I do the same for my DC, if they are struggling with something then I'll treat them to their favourite meal or all go to the cinema or something to cheer them up

Problem is that a mum of DD1 friend has asked what I'm getting my DD, what I'm doing for her 😕 erm, nothing?

She has bought her presents, is planning on making heart shaped pancakes for breakfast and taking her out for a meal and to the cinema after school 😲

It's totally thrown me, this is a new friend in high school, I don't know if she always does all of that or it's because they are in high school now or what? I don't want DD1 to be the only one not made a fuss of, but I also don't feel right doing valentines day for my DC as its aimed at couples

So I'm turning to MN to help me out - is this normal in high school?

YABU - I SHOULD treat DD1/DC with gifts/cards/take them out
YANBU - There's nothing wrong with doing it, but it's not commonplace and therefore not necessary

I really don’t get buying valentines for children. It’s just odd. But I know some people who go really over the top (but tend to at anything they can share on Facebook to look good!)

There again I probably won’t buy anything for my partner let alone son!

DH always buys me flowers on Valentine's Day and gets DD (6) a little bunch of tulips or something as well. But he also does this randomly every so often so not just associated with Valentine's. It's never occurred to me to find it odd.

Going out for a meal, presents, special breakfast etc seems a bit much. I would worry that adult life is going to be a massive disappointment to this child if every event in the calendar is built up to be such a big deal.

My workplace gives us all a little box of chocolates so I’m all in favour of a small token but nothing overboard. It certainly cheers up my work day!

My workplace gives us all a little box of chocolates

I would find this very creepy and weird.

The woman is OTT and ridiculous. I feel sorry for the man who lands up with her DD if she is this spoilt on Valentine's day by just her mother!

She is utterly ridiculous

She'll probably have a breakdown if someone forgets to send a card to celebrate the Chinese New year or whatever 😂😂😂

YANBU. This mother is very odd.

But I don’t see Valentines Day as only for romantic coupley love. I give my DH a card and chocs and I give my three DC the same (but smaller). I give each DC a small card and inside I write what things we love and appreciate about them and what makes us proud and I sign it from me and DH. They love it! Even my 11yo DS.

YANBU - There's nothing wrong with doing it, but it's not commonplace and therefore not necessary

But surely you must absolutely know this ^^

I don’t think you ‘need’ to do anything if you don’t want to or your child isn’t fussed .
We get dd a valentines card from the cats as I mentioned on another thread which she loves (she’s 8) and her dad usually gets her a rose or a little heart balloon .
We don’t actually celebrate valentines ourselves .

What are galantine / palentine days?

...off to Google...

What are galantine / palentine days?

They are made up nonsense, invented by card/gift companies to sell more rubbish tat.

Myself and dh sont acknowledge it as it's too near our wedding anniversary.

This other mum clearly only asked what you were doing just so she could show off about her big plans she’s so proud of.
by secondary school age a child won’t feel any long lasting emotional damage that they didn’t get heart shaped pancakes when her friend did! I doubt her friend will even think to mention it!
Just do what you’ve always done and leave the cookie cutter mum to spend her energy making insta-worthy pancakes that are so important to her xx

At the very most I think I've occasionally bought DD a few heart shaped chocolates on Valentine's day, but never taken her out to celebrate or done cards/presents. Definitely an individual family thing not a high school thing!

Getting stuff for kids is a bit icky

@WorraLiberty I just wanted to double check it wasn't more of a high school thing, first year of high school for first DC

Galentines/Palentines is valentines for your friends, it seems to be getting bigger each year 🙄

I always by DD some lovehearts......

Yanbu my parents got me a card and a box of malteasers one year and I was gutted when I realised it was from them and not a boy that fancied me leave valentines to romantic relationships.

@hels71 YABU because love hearts are rank 😂 get her some palma violets and write messages on them yourself 😂

*I know palma violets are marmite sweets, but they definitely beat love hearts 😉

Small little tradition, if that's what your family does then that's great, same as others who've said they do a little something to mark the day, nobody has said they go all out though and have a huge themed day

@Ttcbabybennett 🤦‍♀️You are probably right! If it had have been a primary school parent I'd have shrugged it off, I'm still getting used to the whole high school thing, I knew MN would advise me one way or the other ☺️

It is a much more friendship based day in the USA, my dc often are given whole class treats at school by friends of both sexes.
Maybe that way of thinking is coming over to UK?

Just to update, DD1 was perfectly happy, said that friend was bragging a bit before school started but then was a bit embarrassed when she realised that nobody else was celebrating valentines day with their parents. She's in a good friendship group though, she said they pretty much just told her to enjoy the cinema and it was no big deal so her friend was OK and didn't feel awkward