AIBU to not want kids to visit

[Mgby1]

Just wondering if anyone agrees with me on this one...... on/off partner has taken our 2 children to visit his brother (which I have no problem with) but I've told him I dont want them there when the brother's wife is there. Me and brother in law never had a great relationship but past couple of months were really good we put differences aside and were getting on great. One night out of the blue he rings me and says "oh, are the kids still awake? Cos I'm coming round with my WIFE! . I told him no your not coming round they asleep. You have to understand he wasn't in a relationship with this woman.... he'd met her online and married her after a couple of days. Who does that? She could be anyone we dont know anything about her and he wants to bring her around my children. BUT I'm the one in the wrong apparently. Anyway he took the children there lastnight and there was a mystery 'cousin' there. Took my daughter to the shop alone. I know it was her and I'm so annoyed cos he knows how I feel. AIBU or am I in the wrong here? X

@Nanny0gg no he doesn't pay me anything although he will buy them things when he takes them out. Btw he has 2 businesses that make good money and I'm on minimum wage

So what does he buy for them in the 10 minutes he takes them out for? A bloody ice cream? Jesus OP he is treating you all so terribly in so many ways. Take the cunt to court, get proper maintenance out of him and stop allowing him to walk all over you

@Mgby1
I have, yes.

You need help to change your perspective on this so you can understand he is not your responsibility and you are not the problem.

And you have to find it in yourself to be strong for your children as well as yourself.

No shes not their auntie.... shes a stranger who they and I dont know and he lied about it being a cousin

How do you think people go from being strangers to known, OP?

Trust your instincts on this, you must feel she’s a stranger for a reason. Instincts are there to protect you so don’t ignore them. I would feel the same in your position and believe me I wouldn’t want my children taken to where I did not approve! You are your kids voice and eyes at this moment in time. Protect them the best way you know how.

But families usually discuss things like a marriage dont they? It seems my ex was told and I wasnt allowed to know about it so why should my children go there?

She's not a mail order bride is she OP? Wouldn't surprise me if the two brothers are in any way alike

Yanbu...this woman is complete stranger and the whole situation would concern me..think i would be cutting ties..very strange

@JRUIN haha no not mail order! Was told he was chatting online for a few days she came down from another part of the country first time they had met and they got married in his house! A local imam from the mosque married them

You can’t control who your children see when they are with their father. Point. Blank. Period.

You clearly have bigger problems, though.

I really don’t understand your fixation with this woman. She might be a stranger to you, but she’s now family. What exactly do you think she’s going to do?! You’re children are going to meet strangers all the time, you can’t control every aspect of their lives. Honestly, you’ve got much bigger things to worry about, stop looking for distractions.